I just got pimp slapped

[seireikhaan]

By the Inuit, of all people. I'm playing as Maratha in a prestige campaign. All of India is mine- the Mughals were a toothless lion, and by the time I'd destroyed them, Mysore stood no chance. Portugal was destroyed by Spain, leaving Goa an easy rebel target for me. After a lengthy period of building infrastructure and researching, I decided to attack Persia, who was slowly rolling up the Ottomans, who I'm on good terms with. With my more advanced troops(Sikh musketeers, Sipahis, mortars and cannons) and great power base, I didn't have the most difficult time destroying the Persians, taking everything from Afghanistan to Baghdad(conquered by the Persians previously).

As I was finishing this up, the French and Spanish combined their efforts and destroyed the Dutch, leaving a wealth of overseas opportunities for me as well as Ceylon. I grab Ceylon with just a bit of effort, then sent a navy of various SoL and a full stack of my best troops running through the Carribean, grabbing both Guyanas and Curacao, smiting Pirates on my way, giving me a swath of the eastern carribean and a chunk of South America. Decided to buy the Leeward island from France to complete it. Feeling with nowhere to go at this point(about 1755), with a near full tech tree and lots of nice, experienced troops, I decided to go after some fur trade. Easiest place to do so, I figure: The Inuit, of course! I sail my armada all the way to Northern Canada, and drop my nice, experienced, battle ready army just off the Inuit capital(????). They have a full stack in the capital, but I wasn't terribly worried. After all, I had mortars and shrapnel and formations and firepower and experienced and a 7 star general, experienced from the Persian wars and the Carribean aquisitions. After dropping the army off, I end the turn...

And THAT'S when the second full stack of natives appeared, and double teamed my army. Fearing not for my troops safety, I accept their biased challenge. Battle is pitched. Their first stack endures terrible damage from mortar and cannon fire on their march to meet me. And yet, they still got their with plenty intact. Many armed tribesmen swarm my position, like a demon horde, one spring up where the last died, through endless musket fire and reaching my bayonets. My brave troops engage in hand to hand, and repulse the first wave, yet with moderate losses.

The second stack appears to my left, upon what had been my flank, and as I desperately try to shift my troops into position, their lancers bear upon my infantry, while archers and yet more swarms of armed tribeman follow in their wake... My Sikhs let loose more volleys, and yet its not enough, the mortars and cannons are simply not helping enough.. Gradually, my weary troops slog it with the savages, each side wearing the other into nothing-ness. My general finally takes to battle himself, atop mighty elephants... he routs many a tribesman, and yet, finally, he falls. My brave infantry are slowly forced into a defensive circle, battling their hearts out as more and more are gradually butchered. And then, finally, the remaing five units of armed tribesman beat down my last three units of Sikh musketeers, butchering the entire army....



I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!! It is time to go Xerxes on these savage Inuit. They will feel the wrath of the Marathan, Indo-Iranian Empire! I will bring every rare and exhorbitantly exotic and expensive unit I can! Camels, horses, and elephants! Kurds and Afghans, Hindus and Sikhs, Native Americans and European colonials! Mortars, rockets, and 64 lb Artillery! Swords, muskets, and bayonets! MY HONOR WILL BE RESTORED!


[/end rant]

[Monk]

I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!! It is time to go Xerxes on these savage Inuit.

Xerxes lost too, you know.

The AI is still a little wacky, but it can pull off some upsets if you're not careful. Good luck in taking revenge!

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

Xerxes lost too, you know.

[Obligatory 300 Joke]

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

This is LABRADOR!

[/Obligatory 300 Joke]

[Mailman653]

Nice to hear how a non European army fares against the Natives in the Americas. Not even elephants stand a chance apperently.

[seireikhaan]

Nice to hear how a non European army fares against the Natives in the Americas. Not even elephants stand a chance apperently.

Well, actually, the only elephants were my general, and they got shot to bits by musketmen after plowing into a flank. There's going to be MOAR elephants in the next army.

[Lemur]

Yep, those kayak-hugging seal-clubbers can really clean your clock if you let them build up. I went in as England with a full stack, and the next thing you know I'm polar bear food. Good king George couldn't abide that, so another stack sailed out of Boston. Second time did the trick.

I'm not sure it was really worth it, though. Next time I think I'll leave the igloos alone ....

[Belgolas]

Elephants are not that powerfull anymore. Anyways once you get a large enough empire nothing will stop you and it will become easy to conquer the whole map.

[antisocialmunky]

Yep, those kayak-hugging seal-clubbers can really clean your clock if you let them build up. I went in as England with a full stack, and the next thing you know I'm polar bear food.

It would have been cool if they actually had attack bears or some sort of bear cavalry :)

[A Very Super Market]

The real inuit don't even live in that region, and they didn't fight either.

GAH

[Mailman653]

The real inuit don't even live in that region, and they didn't fight either.

GAH

Or look identical to the Huron and Cherrokee

[Ordani]

I will bring every rare and exhorbitantly exotic and expensive unit I can! Camels, horses, and elephants! Kurds and Afghans, Hindus and Sikhs, Native Americans and European colonials! Mortars, rockets, and 64 lb Artillery! Swords, muskets, and bayonets!

Now there is a goal.

[Megas Methuselah]

He forgot about rifles and kilts.

[Azlahn]

Our bullets shall blot out the sun! (and to my surprise, I find out that despite all odds, this forum has no smilies fitting this joke)

[0rly?]

Nice story, i love getting my ass handed to me. but it doesn't happen often to stop me feeling like napoleon. I once almost lost a battle against a small Iroquois force because I'd just been fighting battles against the Mughals and for some reason forgot i was fighting really fighting the baddest hombres in the game. They fought a good guerrilla battle and caused me a lot of bother.

Fighting when hugely outnumbered is great fun, i fought one battle against Austria and their endless waves of 150 strong line infantry for almost the whole hour, when faced with just their last unit of cannon and seeing my remaining 2 units of about 15 line infantry each i thought i could actually win. but just as i gave the charge order my men inexplicably fled the battle! i still consider it a win though. I decided that if anyone survived that battle they would be disbanded in disgrace!

How did you get elephants to north America?....that's even more impressive than Hannibals crossing of the Apls

[0rly?]

I will bring every rare and exhorbitantly exotic and expensive unit I can! Camels, horses, and elephants! Kurds and Afghans, Hindus and Sikhs, Native Americans and European colonials! Mortars, rockets, and 64 lb Artillery! Swords, muskets, and bayonets!

Bring the Spanish inquisition........they wont expect that!

[IRONxMortlock]

Yep, those kayak-hugging seal-clubbers can really clean your clock if you let them build up.

Haha! Nice!

[katank]

Our bullets shall blot out the sun!

That wouldn't convey the proper degree of fear. In fact, it would seem to indicate that all your troops have horrible aim. The crack just doesn't work as well in this age of direct fire weapons.

[Arutima]

The real inuit don't even live in that region, and they didn't fight either.

GAH

that's why the faction is called Unuit-Montagnais


Montagnais= amerindian tribes north of the st lawrence river and labrador

[gollum]

Hello sereikhan,
can we have a few screenshots please? Please?

[JRCDave]

I had a good stack of Colonial Line, Hessian and Rangers with 3 cannon units going against he Cherokee in Florida. They attacked me so I drew up on a hill, lined my cannon up ready to grape shot the hell out of them Indians. They swamped me with running melee tribesmen and cleaned my clock. I had two units survive. I have had good luck against natives by forcing them to attack me and then entrenching. This slows them down enough to flank with some cavalry or native musket men. The game does not always give you the option to entrench so you have to be prepared with plan B. Also, if you have some Native mounted muskets, put them on skirmish mode, send them to the far side of the map and watch the natives split their forces. The much reduced force will attack your entrenchments and if your natives still survive, lead the rest of the enemy close to your entrenchments and finish them off. Also, Hessian units suck. They break before any militia unit. Colonial line units are OK.

[JeromeBaker]

Elephants are not that powerfull anymore. Anyways once you get a large enough empire nothing will stop you and it will become easy to conquer the whole map.

No kidding. Elephants are one of the easiest units for my line infantry to take out (like two vollies from a couple of my units and all the elephants are dead). I guess this makes sense with the large size of the animal making it an easy target. I was worried first time I faced them in battle.

[Warhammer3025]

Is it me or are the Native American Lancers like superpowered? I mean even on hard they can blow right through my fully formed squares and take on 3 sometimes 4 to 1 odds again my cav in melee and still inflict equal or more casualties. The scariest thing in the world for me is to see 6 of them line up readying for a charge to be followed by a screaming horde of braves, cuz i know i'm going ot suffer heavy casaulties no matter how brilliantly i fight the battle. I kinda want my troops to survive and gain xp ya know...

[andrewt]

Oh yeah, I had one charge a line infantry, with socket bayonets, using a square formation. I lost 25% of my line infantry on the charge. Fighting the NA tribes feels like fighting the Zerg in Starcraft.

[Feanaro]

Elephants are not that powerfull anymore.

They aren't uber-leet h4x0rs but elephants are still quite useful, IMO. Facing pure melee troops, as often happens in India or NA, or flanking engaged infantry, they do massive damage. For all that, they are pretty frail, so you have to be careful with them though. In a few hairy spots fighting Mughal, my general's elephants made the difference.

[KozaK13]

I have also lost many a battle hardened army to the inuit...i couldn't conquer them.

[TB666]

That wouldn't convey the proper degree of fear. In fact, it would seem to indicate that all your troops have horrible aim. The crack just doesn't work as well in this age of direct fire weapons.

He could say that his mortars or howitzers will blot out the sun.
Would be quite frightening as well, especially if he is using explosive shells

[katank]

Seriously. The explosive shells from multiple batteries of mortars seems like the biblical fire and brimstone.

Quicklime looks more impressive though. Anyone tried those against natives? Useful?

[Megas Methuselah]

My braves run across the map too quickly for those to be truly effective. Not that I'm complaining.

[seireikhaan]

Hello sereikhan,
can we have a few screenshots please? Please?

Unfortunately, in my aggravation, I exited the battle before saving the replay, and didn't think to screeny during the action. I can promise shots of my "Persian 300-esque" army, however.

[gollum]

Hello shinseikhan,
just as i thought