I have big problems; please help me.

[Prussian to the Iron]

Why do you want to commit suicide? Personally, I do not think it will be more pleasant than the life. I am not very religious but... this is a suicide after all. You know, you never know what follows after death... Just think on the process of rotting!

How old are you?

Why do you think you can not make any friends in the future?

What happened with your family? Divorce? Has somebody died?

im only 13. if the only thing after this life is rotting in the ground, im happy with that. its an easy escape to a miserable life.

ive never had more than 1 friend at a time. ive always been treated like shit in school. i am horrible at making friends (i skipped 1st grade)

Don't do it!
I'm guessing your fairly young otherwise you wouldn't be suicidal over your family - in which case I think you should just wait till you are old enough to leave home. You kill yourself now and you will only have had a short crappy lifetime under them. If you hold on a little bit, you can live out your life the way you want - make friends do whatever, all without them bothering you.

And to tide you over until then, you have TW!

m dad took everything off my computer.including europa barbarorum, the only thing that might've held me back.

the problem is i cannot leave home for 5 years, and then i would be going off to college and thus having to deal with more assholes.

the life i want is too prefect to be able to possibly happen.

[Thermal]

im only 13. if the only thing after this life is rotting in the ground, im happy with that. its an easy escape to a miserable life.

ive never had more than 1 friend at a time. ive always been treated like shit in school. i am horrible at making friends (i skipped 1st grade)


m dad took everything off my computer.including europa barbarorum, the only thing that might've held me back.

the problem is i cannot leave home for 5 years, and then i would be going off to college and thus having to deal with more assholes.

the life i want is too prefect to be able to possibly happen.

If 5 years of misery will allow you easily 50 years of a good life, then I'd hold strong and endure.

[Lemur]

I'll just state the obvious, that an online gaming fan forum is not the place to seek help for life-and-death issues.

A couple of people have been so good as to post links to real hotlines, which can offer meaningful help.

[Rhyfelwyr]

m dad took everything off my computer.including europa barbarorum, the only thing that might've held me back.

the problem is i cannot leave home for 5 years, and then i would be going off to college and thus having to deal with more assholes.

the life i want is too prefect to be able to possibly happen.

You might not believe me, but time dramatically, dramatically speeds up at your age. When I was 13 a year at school was like a lifetime, by a couple of years later a year just seemed the equivalent of a couple of months back then.

Plus you can make as many friends as you like. There's so much change in the whole social climate in schools from your age upwards, people will not define you by how they look at you now. If you think you're uncool or whatever, just change a bit (not your character, just make a bit of effort) and you'll integrate fine.

[Hooahguy]

ive struggled with suicide before. its hard. i know. just hang in there. believe. do you belong to a religion? if you do, go to your local priest/rabbi/imam or whatnot and talk.

[pezhetairoi]

Dude, it just isn't worth it. When I was your age I thought life was crap too. I had no friends, and my family was driving me insane. I never attempted it, but I did stand in front of the balcony in school thrice thinking about jumping. But in the end, it's a good thing I didn't alright?

You may think you're going to deal with more garbage types in college or highschool or whatnot, but there's no way to know it--there's only one way to find out, and that's to go through with it. You're only 13--there's a whole life ahead of you. How sad it is that being so young, nevertheless you think you've seen everything there is of life. There's far more to it yet. Bide your time if you have to--I outlasted my family and now, at 22, everything is going well for me, and I have the respect of friends and family alike where I had almost nothing. Bide your time now, and see if college is REALLY what you think of it before doing anything foolish--for suicide IS foolish. When alive things can always change for the better. Escaping from life--what are you escaping to?

You don't need these 'friends' as much as you think you do--seriously. People have to deserve you, not you deserve people. Not having friends shouldn't be a reason to end your life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having one friend at a time--I personally hate having too many 'friends' at a time, and prefer investing in one good friendship rather than countless temporary ones.

Nor is having EB removed from your computer a reason--my parents deleted every single strategy game in my old computer and password-protected it. I just played it in my mind, and created countless battles of my own--and I began reading about history, which has served me so much over the years that I'm now studying it in university.

You want a reason not to die? It's this: You are dying because of, and for, what others have done. But you miss the point.YOU LIVE FOR YOURSELF. Not for others. Let them think what they want, let them do what they want. You are who you are and they can't take that away from you. They can take away EB--but they can't take away your mind. They can take away your freedoms--but then again, you're only 13. Stay home a little longer--much of Life (the interesting and less crappy version) only begins later in life. You're not missing anything important yet--seriously.

Don't do anything foolish. If you really want to kill yourself, then at least give yourself and your soul the fighting chance of a few more years before you do it. See if college really is full of those assholes before you do it. You're planning to kill yourself over an assumption. But killing yourself at 13 is...just seriously not worth it. Don't look around you anymore since you know the view's depressing--look forward instead, and continue walking down the road.

[Jolt]

Kid, being 13 sucks. Its ridiculous (I'm sorry to put it so bluntly) that you wanna stop living your life so soon when you practically haven't even started it. You have NO idea what is coming for you in 5 years, when you (Hopefully) graduate. I have to confess that at all my bad times in my life, I always thought positive. (Bleh, life will eventually improve.) Some people think its sorta wierd that when I'm down, I laugh a lot at insignificant things, because I love living through the bad times since when I go through them, I remember that I had said things were gonna improve and they did. Just as I'm 100% sure that your life WILL improve. You quite possibly won't be everything you want to be, have all the friends and girls you want, but these will eventually come (Heck, I'm 19, and I know ALOT of guys who still haven't got a single girlfriend yet, by my age)

Here's my casual solution for a 13th year old kid (I know school sucks, everyone laughs mocks you, etc.)

First thing: Are you good with school? If you are then try to focus as much as you can (I wasn't the coolest guy in the block, and I was (mildly) ridiculed. Nothing I couldn't cope with. Focussing on school (And games. :P) was one of my ways to pay back at them.) Focus on school, it will be your future, many of the guys and girls who laugh at you won't be one tenth of what you'll be in the future if you focus on it.

Second thing: Are you good (As in enjoying. Being good is just a bonus.) with any sports? You SERIOUSLY NEED to get into collective Sports (Soccer/Football, Volleyball, Handball, Basketball, anything). They are the salvation for most guys in your condition. You'll have to forget the fear of being ridiculed and try your hardest at improving in that Sport. And try to socialize, even if others shrug you off (Depends on the collective mood towards newcomers), whether or not you're well recieved in the beginning, most of the times you end up being friends with your teammates (Or some of them) At your age, youth's teams always field everyone regardless of skill. So even if you suck (You need to focus also on that Sports), you'll still be able to play and feel like you're contributing to something (YOU WILL CONTRIBUTE TO YOUR TEAM and YOU WILL MAKE FRIENDS, You will hear your coach trying to push you harder, you'll be complemented when you make a good pass, etc. You will take part in the collective celebration of victory when you win games. Provided you stay long enough, you will make friends in there. You can't quit. Show yourself you are a winner.)

Provided you try these things, you will eventually improve your own life. The most important matter is to stay focused and try not to be disturbed by stupid commentaries and as I usually say, life will improve.

[Prussian to the Iron]

Kid, being 13 sucks. Its ridiculous (I'm sorry to put it so bluntly) that you wanna stop living your life so soon when you practically haven't even started it. You have NO idea what is coming for you in 5 years, when you (Hopefully) graduate. I have to confess that at all my bad times in my life, I always thought positive. (Bleh, life will eventually improve.) Some people think its sorta wierd that when I'm down, I laugh a lot at insignificant things, because I love living through the bad times since when I go through them, I remember that I had said things were gonna improve and they did. Just as I'm 100% sure that your life WILL improve. You quite possibly won't be everything you want to be, have all the friends and girls you want, but these will eventually come (Heck, I'm 19, and I know ALOT of guys who still haven't got a single girlfriend yet, by my age)

Here's my casual solution for a 13th year old kid (I know school sucks, everyone laughs mocks you, etc.)

First thing: Are you good with school? If you are then try to focus as much as you can (I wasn't the coolest guy in the block, and I was (mildly) ridiculed. Nothing I couldn't cope with. Focussing on school (And games. :P) was one of my ways to pay back at them.) Focus on school, it will be your future, many of the guys and girls who laugh at you won't be one tenth of what you'll be in the future if you focus on it.

Second thing: Are you good (As in enjoying. Being good is just a bonus.) with any sports? You SERIOUSLY NEED to get into collective Sports (Soccer/Football, Volleyball, Handball, Basketball, anything). They are the salvation for most guys in your condition. You'll have to forget the fear of being ridiculed and try your hardest at improving in that Sport. And try to socialize, even if others shrug you off (Depends on the collective mood towards newcomers), whether or not you're well recieved in the beginning, most of the times you end up being friends with your teammates (Or some of them) At your age, youth's teams always field everyone regardless of skill. So even if you suck (You need to focus also on that Sports), you'll still be able to play and feel like you're contributing to something (YOU WILL CONTRIBUTE TO YOUR TEAM and YOU WILL MAKE FRIENDS, You will hear your coach trying to push you harder, you'll be complemented when you make a good pass, etc. You will take part in the collective celebration of victory when you win games. Provided you stay long enough, you will make friends in there. You can't quit. Show yourself you are a winner.)

Provided you try these things, you will eventually improve your own life. The most important matter is to stay focused and try not to be disturbed by stupid commentaries and as I usually say, life will improve.

my parents smashed my xbox into a million pieces. my computer is wiped of everything. i have nothing.

[Hooahguy]

try Jolt's suggestion and join a team. even the chess team, if you have one. go out for a run. make it habitual. work out, excercise, read books.
dont concentrate on what you dont have. concentrate on what you HAVE.

[Jolt]

Kid, you don't need your computer nor your XBox. You don't see everyone in Africa depressed because they don't have XBox, do you? As I said, do your best to focus on school and GET yourself into a collective sports. These two things together give you much to handle.

[Prussian to the Iron]

try Jolt's suggestion and join a team. even the chess team, if you have one. go out for a run. make it habitual. work out, excercise, read books.
dont concentrate on what you dont have. concentrate on what you HAVE.

i take school online, and i do baseball. its boring and no one on the team likes me either.

Kid, you don't need your computer nor your XBox. You don't see everyone in Africa depressed because they don't have XBox, do you? As I said, do your best to focus on school and GET yourself into a collective sports. These two things together give you much to handle.

yah and people in africa have never brought thier 8th grade science grade from a 21 up to a 91 in 3 weeks to earn a xbox or computer.

[Hooahguy]

i take school online, and i do baseball. its boring and no one on the team likes me either.

try a sport that people need to rely on you to succeed.

[Aemilius Paulus]

Kid, you don't need your computer nor your XBox. You don't see everyone in Africa depressed because they don't have XBox, do you?

Bad logic. They have not tried XBox. Once you have tried something, and grown accustomed to it, withdrawal is rather difficult. But as for myself, I am not mcuh of a game fan. All I play are RTS games, and for the last two years I have mainly played EB, still on my first and only campaign, which says quite a bit about how much time I spend playing.

I am fearful of losing my savegame for that campaign though, but to counter this, I have backups of it on three computers, two flash drives, and four discs. As for the games, I think all of you gentlemen know where to get some if you do not like/cannot pay for them...

My sympathies are with you however. You do not have very wise/caring parents as I can see. Losing such things is difficult I can imagine. But no reason to commit suicide. Then again, I understand there are quite a bit of other factors as well.

[Prince Cobra]

im only 13. if the only thing after this life is rotting in the ground, im happy with that. its an easy escape to a miserable life.

ive never had more than 1 friend at a time. ive always been treated like shit in school.

i am horrible at making friends (i skipped 1st grade)

OK. First, don't take for granted you will just rot in the earth... Or that it won't hurt. What is soul? Energy or something different? Are you sure you will not burn into hell for example?

But anyway... Then I have to tell you my story, then.

When I was 13 I was just in the same position. The world after 11 broke into pieces and I lost all of my friends. Why? I don't know. There are always people that are so miserable that have only one pleasure: to treat the others badly. But you see, one day you will get out of this nightmare (change the school and etc. and etc. ). SLowly but surely my life improved... then I had another fit (less dramatic) few years ago but I again recovered. Things are getiing better. But you shall fight for it! Now I have a handful of friends but I do have friends. I believe you will also succeed.

If still not persuaded, please try this:

I'll just state the obvious, that an online gaming fan forum is not the place to seek help for life-and-death issues.

A couple of people have been so good as to post links to real hotlines, which can offer meaningful help.

[Prussian to the Iron]

When I was 13 I was just in the same position. The world after 11 broke into pieces and I lost all of my friends. Why? I don't know. There are always people that are so miserable that have only one pleasure: to treat the others badly. But you see, one day you will get out of this nightmare (change the school and etc. and etc. ). SLowly but surely my life improved... then I had another fit (less dramatic) few years ago but I again recovered. Things are getiing better. But you shall fight for it! Now I have a handful of friends but I do have friends. I believe you will also succeed.

once again, i have no friends. its sad, but true.

i get into big fights with my parents every 2 or 3 months.

[Prince Cobra]

once again, i have no friends. its sad, but true.

i get into big fights with my parents every 2 or 3 months.

As I said, when I was at your age, I did not have any. Maybe in the friends aspect you are even better: you said "1 friend at a time" . This is something after all.

+

You have your grandmother.

[pezhetairoi]

Sorry to say it this way dude, but your case is really nothing special. If you read the posts on this thread, you'll realise that we've ALL been through exactly the same thing. We've had our own shitty 13 years of age, our down in the dirt teenage years. It's always crappy, the teenage years--and yet we are here now, years later, and some even while they are still grappling with their own problems in their teenage lives, telling you not to do anything stupid, and walk on.

We've made it through our teenage years with the same friendlessness and the same parental fights. Which teenage kid doesn't fight with his parents, I ask you? My parents, as I said, did the exact same with my computer, and confiscated my handphone for three months. Nevertheless I decided in the end to continue living on because death is a mug's game--there's so much to live for still. Getting into arguments with parents is a terrible reason for which to kill yourself--if it was a halfway good one we'd already see thousands of teens jumping like lemmings from the Golden Gate Bridge or mass-electrocuting themselves at the nearest electrified fence. Yet we don't. Says something, doesn't it?

We know how you feel here--you may say 'it's different, it's different, you don't understand.' But truth is, your story is the age-old story that teens around the world in all kinds of backgrounds and all kinds of eras have gone through. It may not have involved Xboxes in 450BC, of course, but substitute something that means a lot to you and you've got the picture. And you will come out of it and go on to a life less (or more, depending on how you look at it) ordinary like the vast majority of the human race has.

You'll be fine, dude. I'll be your friend if you want me to. But remember this: NO ONE is ever truly alone in this world. NO ONE. And the people who are posting now on this thread do care for you in some small way--though they've never met you before, they care enough about you that they want you to treasure your life. I care enough that I want you to go on with it. And I'll even accompany you along if you want it. But don't insult your own body and soul and will by deciding to kill them off before they've truly had a chance to prove themselves in later life.

[Prussian to the Iron]

but its not the typical teen years. i am isolated by my online high school. and i have no real escape from my parents.

[pezhetairoi]

As I said, it's typical.

Here's some rather counter-intuitive advice I can give, which I used to deal with my own situation: Learn to live without it. My parents were trying to keep a hold on me by threatening to take away everything that meant something to me, to break down my individuality and make me submit to their will. I defeated their efforts and eventually forced them to see that they had to deal with me not from a master-servant relationship but as an equal partner in the enterprise called Family. How? If they took away my handphone, I didn't just let it happen--I shaped my life around the lack of handphone. I switched to reading, and spent more time in school. If they tried to find trouble for my staying longer in school, I fought back.

Fights? Fight the good fights if you believe enough in them. Don't go quietly into the night. If you let things happen to you then of course your life is going to be crap. Isolated? So was I. Heck, so were WE. No one wanted to talk to me. In the lecture theatres in my later teens I was often the ONLY PERSON in my row--people would move away rather than sit next to me. So? I'm not there for them. No friends? Then you'll realise one thing that few people have the privilege to learn--you don't really need them. Not yet. Your life will go one far better, maybe even better, without them.

Being 13 is a terrible time, as Jolt's said--but I say again, you may say 'it's different, it's different'... but however you try to escape from the truth of it, the truth is: it IS the typical teen years, however much you may try to deny it. It's not the end of the world--it's not something only you have gone through. I wish I could be there physically dude, I feel for you and I definitely wish your parents were more understanding--but should and would build no bridges. We all must go through life with what we have, because you don't escape from life to go to a better place. If you're not religious, then you know life is all you've got. There's nothing to escape to. And if you ARE, then you'd also know that suicide would send you to a place far worse than anything you've got right now.

So keep living.

Put that giant knife you've got in mind away. Far, far away.

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

I go to Online High School also and I love it.....


This ain't going to be good for us




Don't do it kid. I got A LOT of health problems, from wrists to teeth to stomach/side problems, ears,kness, etc....

I'm still going.

[Prussian to the Iron]

someone just PM'ed me asking that.

wither giant knife to the head, through heart, or taking off the parking break on a car and letting it run over my head.

[Prince Cobra]

I would not say you are so unique as you might think. Millions of kids around the world go through same things.

I don't think he is joking.

Second, I want to tell John one thing. Look, you love TW games, right? Then listen... what general you prefer... a one who fights to the end or the one that flees when faces a difficulty? Do you think the great people had easy lifes?

[pezhetairoi]

Hear, hear, Stephen Asen. Truer words were never spoken. You played EB yes? Be a Spartan--not a Lugoae. Who cares if you're surrounded and there's only 10 men left? You don't rout. You soldier on.

And you're not surrounded yet. The battle's only just started. You haven't only got 10 men left. You've just been attacked by one unit. Rout that unit and move on.

@Aemilius: You're missing the point. Attention-seeking IS the point. He feels alone right now. He goes to online high school--he doesn't even have a physical presence of friends and acquaintances to hang on to. He needs us now to give him the attention, because he's worth the effort that others in his school don't seem to feel bothered to put in. I fail to see how you're helping him by dismissing him as a suspected troll. Not everyone can express themselves clearly in lucid terms, or would be in the mood to write long essays like we are (and I am) when you're in a state of depression. But judging him to be a troll simply on the basis that he doesn't say too much is irresponsible and insensitive in the extreme.

I don't think he's joking. What if what you said pushes him over the brink? Will you take responsibility? You just asked him to think about how he's going to kill himself. Are you planning to refine his plan for him, or ridicule him for it, or dare him to do it, just to prove he's not a troll? Will you bear the consequences later on?

How can you be saying the things you say? Fine, so you think he's joking. Then hold your peace. What if, on the off-chance, he ISN'T joking? What then? Troll or not, we have a duty and responsibility as fellow forumers to help. He's a fellow human being and Org member in need of help--that's good enough for me.

[pezhetairoi]

What's the point of saying 'better safe than sorry' now, I wonder? You've already done enough damage in all your previous posts. The kid's 13, man, he needs help and understanding, not interrogation and accusation! As if he doesn't already have enough of it in his life.

[Prussian to the Iron]

amelius. you will be mentioned when i call the newspaper. ill make sure to mention "look on my computer at my bookmarks and click on user CP. yah. and the note on my desk, that guy encouraged me to do it. goodbye forever

[Novellus]

You are only thirteen and considering suicide? Careful please... I thought about it several times when I was fifteen. At that time, I was considering suicide. Sometimes, I opened up the drawer in my kitchen to look at the knives and seeing which one was the strongest. I didn't have any guns sitting around the house. Going to school each day was misery. I had no friends, and those who claimed to be friends never really spoke to me, avoided me, or ignored me. Others made life miserable, harassing me and degrading me each and every time I set foot into the building. They didn't value my life at all. Why should I have? Things at home began falling apart as well. I was constantly in argument with my parents, and my grades began to plummet. Even the teachers began to take notice as the bright-eyed student they had at the beginning of the school year had become a shade of his former self.

But later on, and in my darkest times, just the right people came at just the right time. I know that you may be thinking that it won't happen for you, that no one will seek you out, and that you will be alone for the rest of your days until you end them yourself. But if this truly is your worst year, how can you be sure that it won't be any better? How can you be sure that it will become worse? That there is no hope? You can't. No one can.

If you end your time here and now, what will happen? "What if" will become your greatest regret whether or not an afterlife exists or not. What if by taking yourself out of the future, you manage to take away the greatest thing that will happen to someone, or many people for that matter, down the road?

Things seem to have a tendency to work themselves out in life, whether you believe in it or not. But if you end your life here and now, I can guarantee that you will see no change happen with yourself. You will never live long enough to be able to look back at your life and judge yourself. Thirteen years is not enough, nor fifteen in my case as it was. But the two years following my decision to put the knife away paved way to a better tomorrow. The blue sky is hidden behind the clouds. One may not always see it, but one knows that it is there. Your time will come when someday, you too will be able to see that skylight, to see the better life that awaits you in time.

The light awaits. Will you be around to see it?