I have big problems; please help me.

[Prussian to the Iron]

When I was 13 I was just in the same position. The world after 11 broke into pieces and I lost all of my friends. Why? I don't know. There are always people that are so miserable that have only one pleasure: to treat the others badly. But you see, one day you will get out of this nightmare (change the school and etc. and etc. ). SLowly but surely my life improved... then I had another fit (less dramatic) few years ago but I again recovered. Things are getiing better. But you shall fight for it! Now I have a handful of friends but I do have friends. I believe you will also succeed.

once again, i have no friends. its sad, but true.

i get into big fights with my parents every 2 or 3 months.

[Prince Cobra]

once again, i have no friends. its sad, but true.

i get into big fights with my parents every 2 or 3 months.

As I said, when I was at your age, I did not have any. Maybe in the friends aspect you are even better: you said "1 friend at a time" . This is something after all.

+

You have your grandmother.

[pezhetairoi]

Sorry to say it this way dude, but your case is really nothing special. If you read the posts on this thread, you'll realise that we've ALL been through exactly the same thing. We've had our own shitty 13 years of age, our down in the dirt teenage years. It's always crappy, the teenage years--and yet we are here now, years later, and some even while they are still grappling with their own problems in their teenage lives, telling you not to do anything stupid, and walk on.

We've made it through our teenage years with the same friendlessness and the same parental fights. Which teenage kid doesn't fight with his parents, I ask you? My parents, as I said, did the exact same with my computer, and confiscated my handphone for three months. Nevertheless I decided in the end to continue living on because death is a mug's game--there's so much to live for still. Getting into arguments with parents is a terrible reason for which to kill yourself--if it was a halfway good one we'd already see thousands of teens jumping like lemmings from the Golden Gate Bridge or mass-electrocuting themselves at the nearest electrified fence. Yet we don't. Says something, doesn't it?

We know how you feel here--you may say 'it's different, it's different, you don't understand.' But truth is, your story is the age-old story that teens around the world in all kinds of backgrounds and all kinds of eras have gone through. It may not have involved Xboxes in 450BC, of course, but substitute something that means a lot to you and you've got the picture. And you will come out of it and go on to a life less (or more, depending on how you look at it) ordinary like the vast majority of the human race has.

You'll be fine, dude. I'll be your friend if you want me to. But remember this: NO ONE is ever truly alone in this world. NO ONE. And the people who are posting now on this thread do care for you in some small way--though they've never met you before, they care enough about you that they want you to treasure your life. I care enough that I want you to go on with it. And I'll even accompany you along if you want it. But don't insult your own body and soul and will by deciding to kill them off before they've truly had a chance to prove themselves in later life.

[Prussian to the Iron]

but its not the typical teen years. i am isolated by my online high school. and i have no real escape from my parents.

[pezhetairoi]

As I said, it's typical.

Here's some rather counter-intuitive advice I can give, which I used to deal with my own situation: Learn to live without it. My parents were trying to keep a hold on me by threatening to take away everything that meant something to me, to break down my individuality and make me submit to their will. I defeated their efforts and eventually forced them to see that they had to deal with me not from a master-servant relationship but as an equal partner in the enterprise called Family. How? If they took away my handphone, I didn't just let it happen--I shaped my life around the lack of handphone. I switched to reading, and spent more time in school. If they tried to find trouble for my staying longer in school, I fought back.

Fights? Fight the good fights if you believe enough in them. Don't go quietly into the night. If you let things happen to you then of course your life is going to be crap. Isolated? So was I. Heck, so were WE. No one wanted to talk to me. In the lecture theatres in my later teens I was often the ONLY PERSON in my row--people would move away rather than sit next to me. So? I'm not there for them. No friends? Then you'll realise one thing that few people have the privilege to learn--you don't really need them. Not yet. Your life will go one far better, maybe even better, without them.

Being 13 is a terrible time, as Jolt's said--but I say again, you may say 'it's different, it's different'... but however you try to escape from the truth of it, the truth is: it IS the typical teen years, however much you may try to deny it. It's not the end of the world--it's not something only you have gone through. I wish I could be there physically dude, I feel for you and I definitely wish your parents were more understanding--but should and would build no bridges. We all must go through life with what we have, because you don't escape from life to go to a better place. If you're not religious, then you know life is all you've got. There's nothing to escape to. And if you ARE, then you'd also know that suicide would send you to a place far worse than anything you've got right now.

So keep living.

Put that giant knife you've got in mind away. Far, far away.

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

I go to Online High School also and I love it.....


This ain't going to be good for us




Don't do it kid. I got A LOT of health problems, from wrists to teeth to stomach/side problems, ears,kness, etc....

I'm still going.

[Prussian to the Iron]

someone just PM'ed me asking that.

wither giant knife to the head, through heart, or taking off the parking break on a car and letting it run over my head.

[Prince Cobra]

I would not say you are so unique as you might think. Millions of kids around the world go through same things.

I don't think he is joking.

Second, I want to tell John one thing. Look, you love TW games, right? Then listen... what general you prefer... a one who fights to the end or the one that flees when faces a difficulty? Do you think the great people had easy lifes?

[pezhetairoi]

Hear, hear, Stephen Asen. Truer words were never spoken. You played EB yes? Be a Spartan--not a Lugoae. Who cares if you're surrounded and there's only 10 men left? You don't rout. You soldier on.

And you're not surrounded yet. The battle's only just started. You haven't only got 10 men left. You've just been attacked by one unit. Rout that unit and move on.

@Aemilius: You're missing the point. Attention-seeking IS the point. He feels alone right now. He goes to online high school--he doesn't even have a physical presence of friends and acquaintances to hang on to. He needs us now to give him the attention, because he's worth the effort that others in his school don't seem to feel bothered to put in. I fail to see how you're helping him by dismissing him as a suspected troll. Not everyone can express themselves clearly in lucid terms, or would be in the mood to write long essays like we are (and I am) when you're in a state of depression. But judging him to be a troll simply on the basis that he doesn't say too much is irresponsible and insensitive in the extreme.

I don't think he's joking. What if what you said pushes him over the brink? Will you take responsibility? You just asked him to think about how he's going to kill himself. Are you planning to refine his plan for him, or ridicule him for it, or dare him to do it, just to prove he's not a troll? Will you bear the consequences later on?

How can you be saying the things you say? Fine, so you think he's joking. Then hold your peace. What if, on the off-chance, he ISN'T joking? What then? Troll or not, we have a duty and responsibility as fellow forumers to help. He's a fellow human being and Org member in need of help--that's good enough for me.

[pezhetairoi]

What's the point of saying 'better safe than sorry' now, I wonder? You've already done enough damage in all your previous posts. The kid's 13, man, he needs help and understanding, not interrogation and accusation! As if he doesn't already have enough of it in his life.

[Aemilius Paulus]

Wait, why was the title and the first post of the thread edited by Lemur??

[Lemur]

I changed the title to "I have big problems; please help me." to cut down on the rubbernecking. I was advised to do this by a Mod with way more experience than I have, so I'm assuming this is a productive step.

I also sincerely hope John-117 is okay.

[King Jan III Sobieski]

Don't do it!

[Prussian to the Iron]

amelius. you will be mentioned when i call the newspaper. ill make sure to mention "look on my computer at my bookmarks and click on user CP. yah. and the note on my desk, that guy encouraged me to do it. goodbye forever

[Prince Cobra]

Suicide is a cowardice. It is not something to be proud of. People will read the newspaper and will throw it after they read it... then they will forget. You will only hurt those who love you (your grandmother who can even die of grief. or the single friend you have will suffer). The others won't care! You must live and fight!

[Prussian to the Iron]

i have no friends. my last one hates me because of a money dispute and moved away before we could resolve it. in a way, he caused most of this. ill tell you the story if you like

[desert]

Honestly, you won't be able to kill yourself with a "giant knife". Suicide is pretty difficult, and you'd likely botch it, end up in the hospital with a punctured eye or severe lacerations.

Your parents sound like ****monglers, by the way. I don't understand why they would uninstall your games and destroy your Xbox (which they PAID for); why did they do it?

[seireikhaan]

You need to ask yourself: WHY am I so unhappy? I do not mean your parents or friends or online school or any of that. Why does this make life so unbearable? The truth is, it is all up to you. Life is like poker- everyone gets dealt a slightly different hand. I would advise you to stop worrying about what you were dealt, and instead focus on what you can do with that. I'm not going to patronize you by saying that what you've gone through is nothing special at all; that is, however, unimportant. Many great people have emerged from terrible circumstances, whom the world would be vastly inferior without. Similarly, many people have been born with a silver spoon in their mouth and squandered it. If you end it now, you squander it and are no better than them. Dig down, find some pride, and stand up for yourself!

[tibilicus]

If your from the Uk visit this site. http://www.samaritans.org/

If not I'm sure there is plenty of websites and hotlines out there to help you cope.

I'm not going to go in depth but I'm just going to tell you one thing, you have to much to live for to throw it away. A lot of people, especially teenagers have suicidal thoughts, I'm speaking from experience but seriously you have so much to live for. If you commit suicide your throwing away a life of possibility. You can do anything you want if you put your mind to it, now tell me why you would want to throw that away?

Your probably in a dark place right now but seriously, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

[Prussian to the Iron]

and im aiming to get to that light, goig into it as soon as possible.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Don't make a life or death decision based on people posting on the internet.

Go here: http://www.befrienders.org/

or here: http://suicidehotlines.com/

Just get in contact with them. Or your parents. Talk to someone. Take some time to review your life, and not just the bad things.

We all have experience terribly trying times in our lives.

If you stick it out, it will get better. I know, I've been depressed. I know some people who tried to commit suicide and are only alive today because someone saved them. But he's alive - and enjoying life.

Life seems terrible but I know the whole of it can't be. There must be something in your life that is good, even if it is small. Concentrate on that.

But think of all the wonderful things in life you have yet to experience. Let me tell you, there is so much wonder and beauty - don't take all of that from yourself.

CR

[Novellus]

You are only thirteen and considering suicide? Careful please... I thought about it several times when I was fifteen. At that time, I was considering suicide. Sometimes, I opened up the drawer in my kitchen to look at the knives and seeing which one was the strongest. I didn't have any guns sitting around the house. Going to school each day was misery. I had no friends, and those who claimed to be friends never really spoke to me, avoided me, or ignored me. Others made life miserable, harassing me and degrading me each and every time I set foot into the building. They didn't value my life at all. Why should I have? Things at home began falling apart as well. I was constantly in argument with my parents, and my grades began to plummet. Even the teachers began to take notice as the bright-eyed student they had at the beginning of the school year had become a shade of his former self.

But later on, and in my darkest times, just the right people came at just the right time. I know that you may be thinking that it won't happen for you, that no one will seek you out, and that you will be alone for the rest of your days until you end them yourself. But if this truly is your worst year, how can you be sure that it won't be any better? How can you be sure that it will become worse? That there is no hope? You can't. No one can.

If you end your time here and now, what will happen? "What if" will become your greatest regret whether or not an afterlife exists or not. What if by taking yourself out of the future, you manage to take away the greatest thing that will happen to someone, or many people for that matter, down the road?

Things seem to have a tendency to work themselves out in life, whether you believe in it or not. But if you end your life here and now, I can guarantee that you will see no change happen with yourself. You will never live long enough to be able to look back at your life and judge yourself. Thirteen years is not enough, nor fifteen in my case as it was. But the two years following my decision to put the knife away paved way to a better tomorrow. The blue sky is hidden behind the clouds. One may not always see it, but one knows that it is there. Your time will come when someday, you too will be able to see that skylight, to see the better life that awaits you in time.

The light awaits. Will you be around to see it?