Quote Originally Posted by John-117 View Post
my grandma. she wil recover eventually. i need an escape from life desperately
No, she won't. My biological father committed suicide 22 years ago, and pretty much every day, I think of him, and I feel guilt and pain every time.

I can't begin to understand where you're at right now, John, but I do remember being 13 and feeling like I had little to live for. Trust me when I say that nothing you're facing now is permanent and it will pass. Death does not. It is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Whatever your problems are, no matter how alone you feel, suicide is not an answer. Please seek help through one of the groups listed above.