Noble Sons II- Price for Peace [Concluded]

[Beefy187]

I'm running out of time so, heres the actual game thread. Try not to post here until the game starts please.

If you are willing to sign up please do so in the other thread.

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Few years before the start....


"My dear friend.. I want you to look at this book"

The men passed the book to his friend.

"My God.... this is??"
"The Vegetarian book. By Charmaine Solomon. This book tells us that vegetarianism is the most healthy and ideal way of life. I want to live a healthy life.. Don't you?"
"Yes I do but..."
There was a reason why he hesitated to answer. There was several strong kingdoms dominating the land of Org. Kingdom of Beef also known as Beefdom was one of the strongst country in the region. While King Yoyoma of Beefdom was known as a kind king, he did not hesitate to execute anyone who criticize his exceccive consumption of meat.
"You do realise, promoting vegetarianism will be considered as treason?" he asked desperately.
The men sighed and said, "Godness! I cannot believe I am hearing this from a factionheir... Soon to be a king!!"
"My kingdom is no match against Beefdom!!"
"King Yoyoma is about to die. And my dear friend. I am about to become a king my self."
"But... But...."
"But what? Fine. Until we take control of the entire island.. We'll keep our mouth shut. Keep our ambition hidden. Then we can become vegetarians."
"You make it sound so easy."
"This is the dream worth dying for isn't it? You want to be a vegetarian don't you?"
"..... What ever."

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Yoyoma junior, was with his father in his last moments.
"My child... Promiss me the following.. Be good to your mother."
"I will father."
"Be good to the amazonians. Just show them a few Yoyo skills. Don't forget to invite them to the monthly beef banquet."
"I will father."
"Oh!! Do you mind returning that South Park DVD to the video shop?"
"I will father."
"Oh and one last thing...."
"Hurry up and die dad."
"Oracle told me this a few years.... There will be few mad fellows who will try take over the island in the next few years."
"Well theres always some of those loonies around."
"And they are going to turn the island vegetarian..."

Yoyoma Junior gasped.

"See.. I don't mind you completely ruining and wrecking the kingdom I made."
"Cheers. Its nice to know that you trust your son"
"But see. I'm about to die and it sucks if I see the cows I left behind.... not being turned into beef steaks. Or seeing Natasha eating grass and..."
"Righteo dad. I get it."
"I'm counting on you..."

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So war was about to rage on the land. Tears and blood was about to rain upon the land of joy...

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Sign up closing in three days. Please sign up from the other thread please

11.5/12

777Ares777
Shlin28
Captain Blackadder
Askthepizzaguy
Yoyoma
Reenk
White_eyes
taka
YLC
QJC
Warmen
Beefy

Reserve players (2)
Greyblades+ AVSM

[Beefy187]

The Aresea Confederacy - Sea Based Army

2.
3. First adapted to the sea, we live in the large merciless oceans of the West Of Noble Sons land for generations, we became the first to develop naval technology because of are advantageous position are keen wit and wisdom of our elder Fish, recently we have adapted to land and now field land based army and naval technology, are galley's are huge and are mounted upon small whales for easy maneuvering, speed & morale depleting when faced against a coward like enemy! We were always the smallest of nations previously, but with our holdings on what was desolate land we now field one of the largest kingdoms in the whole field of noble sons land!
4. We were growing are technology, breeding it perfectly, the production of a massive warship powered by 6 million cod had been finished, and mercenaries hired in case we were attacked, but luckily we never got deeply involved in the conflicts of other petty kingdoms, allowing us to expand undisturbed, however with all nearby holding now occupied by others violence may, for the first time be a realistic consideration.....
5. Adapting giant sharks and dolphins to hold a sword, or hold a pike and fight for our nations honor!

Galleys - Best navy out of all kingdoms, truly a force to be reckoned with
Swordsmen & Pikemen - Given to truly fearsome fish, but lack the diversity and numbers to match more established land based powers
Cavalry - Non existant & laughable, we have sharks instead! much more efficient....
Archery - We gather Small Tunas with the agility and speed to fire with great prowess, however there size means they can only hold small bows meaning while incredibly agile and accurate are archery isn't particularly powerful

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The Royal Descendants of the House Schling, the most Holy Priests of the 28 Headed Cattle God, declare themselves to be independent of the corrupt Yoyoma's rule, and forms the Theocracy of the Shadowbull!


Speech by S. Lysimachus, the Most Holy High Priest of the 28 Headed Cattle God, Year 44 of King Yoyoma the Corrupt's reign.

The Holy Theocracy of the Shadowbull

2.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

3. In the Year 44, a minor pension issue between the King and the Most Holy Priest of the 28 Headed Cattle God turned into a bitter territorial dispute. Angered at his pension cut by 0.34 percent, S. Lysimachus declared the holdings of the Chruch of the 28 Headed Cattle God to be independent from the Kingdom of Beefdom. Luckily, the headstrong S. Lysimachus soon died due to an adverse allergic reaction to solid gold, and was succeeded by his less headstrong son Shlin II. Will he maintain the status quo? Will he aim for reunification? Will he seek the universal destruction of everything??? Nobody knows...

4. Back in the day of the First Age, the brave forefather of the House Schling died selflessly for a cause he didn't really understand... For his "sacrifice", his family is awarded the Priesthood of the 28 Headed Cattle God.

5. Between the First Age and the Second Age, much time were spent eating beefy, discussing the philosophy of eating beef, and generally complaining to the king about lack of funds. Later, they declared independence, and continues their whimsical lifestyle.

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The Grand Republic of Buranda



3 The Lands the republic settled in were populated by thousands of tribes, of different cultures, in a permanent state of war. however, the arrival of the first colonists changed all that. they were refugees from 'civilised' nations, forced from their homes. despite this, they were a clever, rich and advanced bunch. they carried sword and plate armour. the tribes had little. the republic founded the port city of Hallingon, now the capital. it was well developed, with modern designs, houses out of stone. they played the tribes against each other, assimilated the weak and allied with the strong. soon, by blood and deed, owns the entire peninsula. however, many tribes remained, in republican lands. they, in return for not fighting, given the infamous 'borderlands' lands on the borders, who could act a buffer against invasion. the republic now founded, it built new cities with wonder and science. the republic realised a opportunity for coin. the south of the peninsula, was a great bay, named the bay of carasi. it was potent for trade. they landed large expeditionary forces to the lands of the south, and took them over, much like they did on the peninsula. soon, they had conquered a large portion of land. merchants flourished, and the republic boomed. over, the new conquests were weak to surviving tribes, who had fled to other tribes, more powerful. the republic made new borderlands, and many tribes from the north went south, since there was a larger amount of land up for sale. the republic could have easily conquered much more, but political infighting and squabbling. To combat this, the position of lord chancellor was made, so that all men had a chance to become the grand ruler of Buranda


The Horde of the Hungry Khan


3. The Hungry Khan once ruled all of Europa, a continent across the seas, and then became a fanatical follower of the Pizza Lord, and waged Jihad against the infidel, conquering three continents within the span of 12 years. The Hungry Khanate was defeated by the Sultan of Grog, and now his vast horde has been wandering the steppes ever since... growing more and more hungry.... eating everything that stood in their path.

4. During the time period of the Noble Sons I, the Hungry Khanate was at its peak, ruling the vast lands of another continent. Now they have come across a great vast plains separating the two continents, and have had nothing to eat for many months. In desperation, they have started to eat one another, and the armies of the Hungry Khan are now growing disloyal and undisciplined. They are seeking a new Lord to serve.

5. Since the common era began, the Hungry Hordes have found the lands of Beefdom have been left mostly unattended by the Great Yoyoma. Many cattle have vanished from the local farms, and many of the peasants have found their chicken, pigs, and lambs to be missing as well. Wheat fields have been picked clean, and tomatoes have been disappearing as well.

In the air, a strangely delicious smell is coming from the adjacent valley, where the Hungry Hordes are known to make camp. Their armies are vast, and they consider themselves neutral to everyone on this continent, so long as they are allowed to eat their strange foreign delicacy.... called a "pizza".

Kingdom of Beef/ Beefdom






The Twin Kingdoms of Lesser Reenk and Greater Roink



3. History of the kingdom: The Twin Kingdoms of Lesser Reenk and Greater Roink is a recently emerged polity centered between the Reenk and Roink mountain ranges. Before the land was united, the people who lived in the region were semi pastoral folk just beginning the war against the evil plant kingdom. They chose the giver of Beef as both their spiritual guide. However, they also made this giver of Beef their natural enemy and the obvious dissonance led to tensions which would have a huge impact. One day, a man who called himself the Reenkmeister united the various mountain tribes and carved out a kingdom, and all other states had to pay attention to the emerged power. However, one day vegetarian ninjas who were confused with the exact nature of the giver of Beef killed the Reenkmeister's family and so he left his kingdom to go and gather money for kung-fu lessons. A distant relative of the Reenkmeister known as Reenkmaistro took charge of the fledgling state and this is his story...
4. What they were doing during the time period of Noble Sons I: Living in a disunitied state as mountain tribesmen.
5. What they were doing from post Noble Sons I up until now: This is the period of unification described in the history culminating in the vegetarian ninja assassination.

Exiles



0-10 Years after: House Whiteeyes is exiled and Yoyoma is crowned King of all Beefdom: House Whiteyes is broken and scattered by White_eyes being a illegitimate son of King Beefy, Many in the House abandoned it after Whiteeyes and his 'Failed revolution'. King Yoyoma angered by those that still stood loyally by but at the same time not secure enough to kill them outright, ordered a exile to the north for all those that supported or even related to 'false' Prince Whiteeyes.

10-20 Years later: House Whiteeyes begins to regroup and rebuild, even though they have lost much of there former Manpower, they still have many talented but disillusioned men. King Yoyoma sends a Royal decree that as his Vassal there new flag will be a Owl with White eyes but also to show his resentment; he forces it to have the word "útlegð" in it.

20-25 Years later: House Whiteeyes receives a visit from a Oracle from the Kingdom of Beefy who states "One out of the House Whiteeyes will receive a Shining Sword and with it, well cut the Yo-yo in half". With this, many of those previously disillusioned men, begin to regain their national pride and openly begin to deify King Yoyoma who laughs at such a feeble attempt at rebellion. He chooses to ignore it for now, he has Bigger problems at that moment and even House Whiteeyes can't field much of a army or hold much interest anyway.

25-30 Years later: Mines are uncovered in the north. With this Gold, House Whiteeyes intends to make it much more then a rebellion and there are reports of a very talented and charismatic Leader rising in House Whiteeyes lands. No one knows his origins, some say he is a dispossed Son of King Yoyoma, others think he might just be the one to carry the shining sword....TO BREAK THE YO-YO......


1. Order of the Sacred Kobe Beef

2.

3. An Order created after rumours that other Kingdoms and peoples that were eating anything apart from Beef. With the sole purpose of spreading the glorious teachings of eating Beef, the Order would send Missionaries to foreign countries and kingdoms to preach and convert its population to eating Beef. Within Beefdom, the Order has an Inquisition that seeks out Heretics not eating Beef and purifies them with 'extreme' cleansing. The Order also has a standing army which it mobilizes when needed.

4. Formed shortly after the crowning of King Yoyoma, the works of the Order was so effective and efficient that the King Himself bestowed Grandmaster Taka with two pieces of the Best Kobe Beef in the land and gave him a large area the size of a small kingdom to carry on the Order's work. The Order was officially renamed to the Order of the Sacred Kobe Beef after receiving the two pieces of Kobe Beef, which are preserved and kept within the secret chambers of the Inquisition Head Quarters.

5. After launching several successful Beef Crusades across the land, the Order of the Sacred Kobe Beef now has a fairly large control of nearby lands and some far away. The Order's famous 'Steak Grilling Flame Thrower', a secret weapon with a cow's head spewing fire and used only by the most trusted within the Order chosen by Grandmaster Taka, purged the heretics and won most of their battles. The Order was thought to be incorruptible, until very recently (last week in fact) it was discovered that one of the low ranked soldiers secretly ate vegetables with his beef. He was 'cleansed' as an example to the other members of the Order.


With the vegetarian uprising increasing at an alarming rate, the Order is starting to struggle with its teachings. Everyone is considered suspicious, even the Order itself. Purge the Heretic Veg-eaters!

The Consulate of Yaks, Liquor and Cheese



The Consulate of Yaks, Liquor and Cheese was founded by the stunningly intelligent, devious, and ambitious Prince YLC of Beefdom. Having been exiled to the farthest shores of the continent, YLC quickly plotted revenge, to return with many mercenaries and citizen soldiers after having convinced many towns to join with him even when they shouldn't have or had no need, such was his wordcraft and charisma. He then created a network of spies to bring in the most information possible, and began trade routes to Beefdom. Beefdoms instability caused the trade routes to become threatened, and by clever manufacture, YLC had written into law that the Consulate must protect the trade routes by force. Using this as an excuse to "stabilize" the Kingdom of Beefdom, Prince YLC was able to garner the support of many awould be enemy, such was the mind and forethought of Prince YLC, who, in the name of the people, renounced his noble status and became one with the commoners, much to their rejoicing and furthering of his cause, such was the magnanimity of YLC.

So he allied with the killer White Eyes, knowing that since he was ruthless and already bloodied, White Eyes would only be too willing to help, for he had been blinded by his own greed for a throne that YLC no longer truly sought, such was the humility of YLC. And so it was thus that Prince YLC, through intrigue and manipulation, managed not only to turn the tables on his would be exilers, but met the love of his life, a beautiful assassin from a seaside village, named Sara. Many would ask about fair Sara, and how she had turned his heart towards good things, such is the tenderness of Consul Sara, and how YLC could associate, even love such a woman, but such was YLC's love and understanding. After YLC's most honorable death, for he made sure it was so, Consul Sara took over his duties, for she was most wise and capable, and began the forward progression in arms and technology, skyrocketing the Consulate far far ahead in terms of well being and position.


Consul Sara gave birth to twins, a boy and girl, who grew up amongst the most advanced technology and gained the best education available. The boy was named CLY, or Clay, and the girl was named LCY, or Lacy. Clay soon took over the vast and burgeoning technology industry, handling many of the new clockwork and steam products, both in design and construction, for Clay had forgiven Yoyoma of YLC's death, such was his compassion. But Lacy took the Consulship after her mother passed it down, and Lacy took up the ideals of her father, excelling in deception and war, such was her pride. Now she thinks silently of revenge as the Consulate begins to mobilize...


The Principality of Decapodia



The most ecclesiastical Principality of Decapod Crustaceania, was found by Grand Prince Quintus II, high priest of Decapodia. Grand Prince Quintus II was the son of Prince Quintus Julius Cicero, fifth son of King Beefy the great. After the war of the Beefdom succession and the ascendancy of Prince Yoyoma on the throne. Quintus II took his family and possessions away and migrated to the far corners of the world, founding the lands that his descents would rule for the following centuries. During the perilous trek, the Prince and his follows fed on the delicious shrimps and other crustaceans caught on the high seas. Quintus II was a very religious man and after finding apparent fulfilment, enlightenment and inner peace after eating the shrimps, founded the religion of Crustaceanism, and later became the first high priest of Crustaceanism and Grand Prince of Decopodia.

Centuries had past since the death of Grand Prince Quintus II. His descendents rule these lands, which gradually grew from a chain of small fishing villages to blistering metropolises of great temples and docks. Warehouses, banks and traders grew within the city walls. Merchants from Decapodia sailed as far as the other side of the world to trade prawns, lobsters and seashells for other luxurious goods. The Capital of Decapodia – Dendrobranchiata, although not as populous as some of the other cities in Beefdom, has been universally regarded as one of the most organised and prosperous city in all Beefland.


Geography of the Principality of Decapodia

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:


The Principality of Decapodia consists of the 2 major island plus 1 minor island on the top right handside of the map, also under its control are some of the costal towns around the carangidae sea.



Government and leadership
Although a Principality. The government type is actually constitutional monarchy. Traditionally every Grand Prince of Decapdia also holds the honoured title of High Priest of Crustacenism, the official religious leader within the kingdom. The Grand Prince rules with the consent and guidance of both the Church and the agreement of the Nobility, with the Senate (consisting of the most influential family of nobles, bishops and merchants) helping to introduce taxes and social reforms, and ultimately in times of war, provides generals and troops for the Grand Prince.

Royal Family
The Royal family of Decapodia are all direct descendents of Prince Quintus Julius Cicero and Quintus II. Traditionally every first-born is made the ruler of the lands, no matter male or female. The current Grand Prince of Decapodia is Grand Prince Secundus Julius Cicero. The kingdom has not been at war with anyone else for centuries, and following the traditions and customs, Seundus is a preacher of religion and peace, and has received the Noble Beefy Peace Prize for decades in running. Under the astute rule of Secundus and the Senate, the Decapodian economy contuned to grow, and gradually the prolonged war against poverty is almost complete in total victory….

But are things about to change? Grand Prince Secundus suffers from type 2 diabetes, which prevents him from performing religious rituals such as the feed of the sweet and sour prawn meal and many others. Grand Prince Secundus’ health has been deteriorating for the past years and it has been widely speculated throughout the realm that the Middle-aged Prince would die soon, so that leaves with the big question of….

Succession. Secundus has 4 children; Princess Una VIII, Prince Quintus XIV, Prince Septimus VII and Princess Nova IX. Traditionally the first born would inherit the throne, however due to recent events the Grand Prince has some dilemmas…..

The Current financial recessions has hit the whole of Beefdom hard, even the elites of Decapodia are feeling the effects. History has taught us that Depression helped to cause WWII, and if history has taught us anything else, that would be history always repeat itself, and if it indeed repeats it self, we could probably expect the same thing as previously stated – itself. The growing recessions has caused various rival kingdoms of grow more towards militarism, the rival kings and dukes aren’t very peaceful. Storming clouds gather over Beefdom as mistrust and rivalry threaten to flood the world in a tide of total war. Ambition and greedy from rival kings and princes must be checked, and the king must think of a strong enough leader from one of his children….

Army Composition

Geographically Decapodia is an amphibious country with islands and coasts. Naturally its main strength lies within its capabilities of navy, and Decapodian navy is universally recognized as the best in all of Beefdom. The Malacostraca armada is the most feared navy in all the lands, with powerful ships such as the Amphipoda Galleass and Isopoda Carracks, the naval powers of Decapodia is unchallenged. However their land army is quite different.

Cavalry – almost completely lacking in heavy cavalry, save for a few units of lightly armored horseboys consisting of untrained teenagers. It’s usefulness only extends for chasing down routers and scaring little misbehaving children.
Cavalry wise Decapodia must rely on mercenaries from the steppes, since native cavalry is obviously very useless.

Swordsmen – Mediocre at best, the Decapodian swordsmen never exceeds their expectations, and at times often performs lower than it. Although able to afford good equipments, these troops fights with less efficiency and brutality than most of the countries around the middle and mountainous reign of the map.

Pikemen – Well disciplined and very well armoured. The Decapodia Pikemen are trained to counter enemy cavalry in perfect fashion. Their long pikes are set to receive enemy charges and use the charge force against their foes.

Archers– Decapodia boasts the best archers in the lands. Very well trained and excellently funded, these troops are the best killers in distance. Annual archery competitions are held to find the best archers and the most talented ones are drafted into the Prince’s personal retinues. The professional archer corp. of Decapodia is very formidable in combat. While the Prince’s retinue are comparable to legendary Elvis shots in Lord of the Rings, and often snatches victory in the face of defeat with one word – “Fire!”

The Kingdom Of The Swisslanders And Mongols!



The Kingdom Of Swissland was made over 5 years ago...... It was started by the Gloruius King Warman88! He led his Swissland Armies thoughout the Total War Multiplayer lands, taking over the lands by force. His Empire joined with some Mongols, who needed a new home. Together, KingWarman88's Empire, The Swissland Empire is growing. It destroyed some of the Top Nations in MP and been expanding, even with the King's recent health problems.



During The Time Period Of the "Nolbe Sons I" era, The Kingdom was not in the region, as the King was busy fighting his MP foes. Afterwards, they begain to head towards a region called "The Game Room" in the .Org Kingdom. Swissland/Mongol forces are now swarming towards this postion, after a attempt on the King's life by a man named White_Eyes :D and King Jan III Sobieski.



Swiss Aroumded Pikeman: The Kingdom Of Swissland has excellet Pikemen. They are able to stop any good fighting cavarly without any problems, and even some foot men. They are known to fight to the death and take no prisoners!

Swiss Men-At-Arms/Swiss Samurai: These Swordmen are heavily armouded. When the Pikemen need support, they are ready to support them in battle and help them beat back the enemy and overwhelm them. There are also Swiss Samurai in the army. Few in numbers, however, they are very fierce warriors also.

Archers: Their foot archers are excellet, coming from the dismounted Mongols that they recieved. They are not the best, since they prefer horseback archery, however, they are useful anyhow.

Knights: The Swisslanders have no good cavarly but bodyguards units, which the King doesn't use since he fights on foot. The Mongols provide their Heavy Cavarly. They are a fiece cavarly force, able to break the back of any enemy army, if given the chance!
__________________

[Beefy187]

Map of the kingdoms! For the ease of reference and battles, please state which route you want to take when your moving your army or etc.

[Beefy187]

In the history of the island, this period is known as the age of battles. With each kings slowly becoming aware of the alliance of the vegie eaters or the broccolian syndicate, In 1400 AD king Yoyoma anounced the meeting of 10 leaders in the sacred mountains, ruled by the tribal leader loved by all leaders, Beefy.

Beefy greeted the young leaders as they entered the sacred city, Pax Andres however when he saw Yoyoma Junior, he quickly looked away.

"Master Beefy... I bow to you mighty sir" said Yoyoma, suspeciously staring at the old master.

"Well... urgh... I never thought king of the most powerful kingdom was soo young... Please enjoy your stay here young king" Beefy replied attempting to sneak away from the scene.

"This is your house Beefy. Party doesn't start without your presence"

"Really, I prefer not to intrupt your business. You see, our policy is not to take sides of anyone."

"Well, thanks again for providing us the place to hold the meeting master Beefy." With that, Yoyoma left to meet the other leaders.

"Man... I really don't like kings of Beefdom." shaking the head, Beefy walked off to get some tea.

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"Gents. I am more then certain that you know exactly what todays meeting is about.Thats if you have a decent oracles around... As you all know, there is a prophecy in this land. If the vegie king ever takes the throne, there will be centuries of chaos to follow. My oracle told me that vegitarian king was on the rise. Cunningly hiding his hidden ambitions. Preparing his army for conquest! The fate of this island is in your hands gentlemen. We have to destroy the vegitarians IMMEDIATELY!"

There was a few claps heard from leaders like taka who have been a friend of Beefdom for a long time. However for other leaders like Pizzakhaan, and YLC II things were little different.

"Listen to him gentlemen. Did you hear what he was saying? Its as if Beefdom is the leader of this island. Horde of Pizza do not want the vegetarians as much as you do Yoyoma.. But we cannot torrelate 'oh my... listen to me. I'm your boss! Obey me' behavior!!! Our blood of Khaan will not endure this humiliation!!"

YLC stood up and supported Pizza Khaans comment.

"Its as if we are all suspects but king Yoyoma him self! It could be him as much as one of us! You may have the most powerful kingdom in this region. But if you think that makes you innocent, your wrong!"

Yoyoma sighed and apologized.
"If that is the impression I gave to you. I apologize. It could be any of us here. I ask for a crusade to the traitors. Our ancesters said 'Those who hate the meet, shall pay the price with death.' Thats exactly what we should do."

.................................................................................................... .....................................

Sipping his tea, Beefy sighed.
Beefy already knew who the veggie eaters were. But he dare not tell as he loved both meat and salads.

He looked out side the window and saw the grey clouds, covering the sun and black cloud slowly approaching from the horizon.

"Storm is coming" he said. Shutting the window. Looking them.

The game is about to commence in few hours. I have not written a pm yet

And I plan to do that when I finish my morning study session. Please sit tight

[Beefy187]

Role reveal on the public is not allowed!!

Although theres is not much you can reveal as you all got different stuff and you can easily forge it anyway..

Votes won't lynch anyone. Its just what the meeting reckons who the mafia is. Invading and stuff is done in private.

[ULC]

The newly "elected" Consul Lacy enters and takes her seat, as YLC II (YLC's nephew) flanks her, a roll of parchments under his arm. Lacy drums her fingers as she awaits the other "nobles".

"How predictable of them, to be late to a meeting that, among other things, holds the stability and peace of this land in delicate balance. See cousin, what good high borne are? The inherent belief one is better induces one to think all is unimportant but oneself..."

[Askthepizzaguy]

The Hungry Khan's ambassador, Pepperono, rides into the mountain camp flanked by his heavily armored bodyguards. They are armed with lances, swords, maces, and composite bows. They appear to be of Turkic descent, so they are obviously not native to this island. Pepperono is sporting a long goatee that looks almost mongolian in origin, possibly a borrowed custom. The armor appears to be Central Asian in style, however their weapons appear to be European in origin, strangely enough. One of the older warriors even appeared to be carrying a shield which was clearly Scottish, and one of the war horses appeared to have the royal seal of the French king upon its barding. They all had the insignia of the Pizza Lord upon their cloaks.

The ambassador's bodyguards began to set up camp on a rolling hilltop near the actual meeting place; tent poles and pegs were pounded into the ground, and from their caravan they brought out some lightweight wooden tables and chairs, as well as rolls of parchment and ink. Several royal banners and flags were displayed about camp, and one of the workers began construction on a small wooden sentry post so that the camp itself would have night watch. The camp was encircled with wooden stakes and they began digging a ditch around the camp, leaving room for the horses to be tied up underneath a modest shelter for them as well.

Pepperono retired to his tent after the work was complete, and ordered guard rotations every 8 hours. He had already sent fast horsemen to carry messages to several nations on the island to seek vital trade agreements. He sent a brief letter to the Beefy one to inform him that his absence was due to the weariness of travel and setting up camp, and that he would very shortly attend the meeting after a decent nap. A couple guards went looking for food sources in the mountains, but did not return all night.


Vote: Abstain

[Thermal]

Map of the kingdoms! For the ease of reference and battles, please state which route you want to take when your moving your army or etc.

Sorry it's beefy & reenk, you opposite ends of the kingdom, and there is little sea to invade on, how will you attack each other?

[Askthepizzaguy]

That is the whole point. If they have already signed offensive pacts to destroy us with the nations intervening, then we cannot stop them ANYWAY, but we won't be bullied either, and it proves they never had any peaceful intentions at all. We are willing to die in glorious battle taking down as many of them as we can. After we are gone, I urge the other nations to destroy this threat to all of you; We have never backed down from a fight. We have learned the folly of conquest from our Jihading days, after our empire conquered all others on three continents, the people revolted, and we were kicked off of our own homelands. We will never make that mistake again. We have pledged non-aggression and peace with everyone here. I urge the "religious" crusaders to think very hard about the path they have chosen. It will only lead to violence, and the deaths of hundreds of thousands of your own people; and if you prevail, you will be annihilated anyway by those who will not tolerate your oppression. Freedom always prevails over oppression. Now that we see the error of our ways, hundreds of years ago, we will never follow that path again. We represent a free and peaceful people. We have suffered for years in pain and agony, and have starved because of our arrogance. Never again. Never again. I share the wisdom of generations of my own people, who have been on both sides of this level of unmitigated arrogance and aggression, religious oppression and intolerance, and diplomacy using force. It does not work, and it will destroy everyone in its path, both the oppressors and the oppressed.

I wash my hands of anyone who is willing to tolerate this malevolent behavior.


-Pepperono

[Yoyoma1910]

A letter arrives at Beefy's castle:

Gentlemen, the King of Beefdom is busy for the time being attending to something archaic and evil called "Replacing the Serpentine Belt on a Ford Focus." He will attempt to join you more thoroughly when this is achieved, or frustration gets the better of him.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Funnily enough, right now I am actually eating beef teriyaki. I'm such a loyal beefeater, I even act it out in real life!!

Picture taken with mah webcam. Feast your eyes on this! (Most of my pasty white skin has been deleted)

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

[Askthepizzaguy]

Greetings Mighty Khan

Today I would like to request permission from you on a topic you may not be comfortable with.

I would like to request the permission that our missionaries are allowed to enter your lands in search of vegetable eaters. Our missionaries are only to search for high sources of vegetables within the population, and there will be no military spying. You have my words. If you are innocent of being a meat eater, then you would have no problems with me just having a look around. As an act of trust, I will send you food in the form of beef - we know that you come from far-away lands and are hungry.

If you are found out to be innocent, then I can help you ease your tensions with my allies the Holy Theocracy. However, if my polite request if refused then I will have no choice but to launch a joint crusade towards your lands. This is something I would not like to do.

I await your approval

Yours Sincerely

Grandmaster Taka of the Order of the Sacred Kobe Beef

We are most displeased by your threatening tone.

I am taking this before the council.

We make this a... formal tone, as we see it befitting for the mighty Khan, and hostile intentions are not in our minds. We just need to find the veggy eaters and if you can aid us that would be the best

i mean, who would give out free food just to prove someone else's innocence? im sure that it can only be a win-win situation for you. Unlike our crazy allies, we are an Order of civilization and culture and do not take war lightly. we try to settle matters through discussion, not by the blade.

please reconsider our request with a positive mind

Grandmaster Taka

You threatened us with a crusade. Your allies threatened us with force as well. Don't play innocent with me. You took a huge dump on our diplomatic relations by threatening to use force against us, then tried to cover it with perfume and flowers. Your "good cop, bad cop" routine with shlin28 does not impress me. And we are a proud people, us Noble followers of the Hungry Khan. You cannot, and will not, ever get our cooperation with even the slightest whiff of a threat.

Would you eat a plate of food covered in feces? That is what you are asking of us. To swallow a plate full of diplomatic ShadowBull feces, covered in flowers, or defend ourselves against crusader zealots. And you "wonder" why we are so quick to call you out on this garbage. We demand an immediate apology.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

(also roleplaying, delightedly)

[taka]

an apology will not settle this matter of war, an apology will not allow us to invesitage your lands, so there is no point in an apology. However, if an apology means we can investigate your lands on our conditions, then this war Might take a different turn... depending on your willingness...

we had every good intention to work with your peoples, which is now thrown out the window.

now if you will excuse me, i need to go out and buy a KFB variety meal for lunch

[Askthepizzaguy]

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

an apology will not settle this matter of war, an apology will not allow us to invesitage your lands, so there is no point in an apology. However, if an apology means we can investigate your lands on our conditions, then this war Might take a different turn... depending on your willingness...

we had every good intention to work with your peoples, which is now thrown out the window.

now if you will excuse me, i need to go out and buy a KFB variety meal for lunch

Forgive me. I now understand your delusions. I now know how diplomacy works in the lands of the "Sacred" and "Holy" people.

Barges up to the ambassador:

Oh we wish for peace between us honorable ambassador, but unless you allow our agents into your lands, we will crush you in a HOLY WAR!!!

There, was that not polite? I asked for peace and called you honorable. By your standards, that was downright courteous.

[taka]

thank you

[Askthepizzaguy]

Pepperono storms out of the meeting in disgust, and to prevent violence from taking place there.
Very shortly, a dictated letter is sent back to the council, written by a scribe.

I, Pepperono, affirm that I am acting on the will of the Pizza Lord.

The horde of the Hungry Khan is full of peace-loving people who prefer trade and defense, and free exchange of knowledge and religion. We have nothing to hide, and we would have welcomed your ambassadors, merchants, and missionaries with OPEN ARMS, had you offered, politely, an exchange of these things. Instead you demand access to our lands, and do not offer the same courtesy, while having your ally threaten us with a crusade, and also warning us of the same if we do not cooperate. This is hostile, threatening, and unfair behavior. You are not treating us with respect, as equals, you are treating us as slaves and dogs. You disrespect our noble leader, you spit on our religion, you pay mercenaries to destroy us, you call on peasants to murder us in the name of your God in an invasion, when we have stated clearly here that we will never set foot in your lands.

We have pointed out your threatening tone was unwelcome. Then you continued to assault us with words and threats, while your admittedly "CRAZY ALLIES" threatened us as well. Now you have brought a third nation of religious zealots, this time more interested in coin than honor, against us. How exactly do you expect to gain our trust? Why do you think that by twisting our arms and repeatedly insulting us and treading upon our rights as human beings, that you will gain our favor? We would rather die defending ourselves than to lower ourselves as submissive curs to your swords. We recognize the value of peace, but we will not be ordered around. We will not be threatened. We will not be insulted publicly, nor will we sit idle while you call for our destruction. You are a strange and insane people, if you believe such behavior will ever gain you cooperation, respect, peace, or moral superiority, let alone win you the favor of your God.

Until you apologize for these repeated insults and call off your crusade, we will be preparing our lands for war. It is that simple. And if you choose to back down from your threats, that will be your choice. We will not trespass into your lands, for although you have insulted us in the worst possible ways diplomatically, and our relations are now Atrocious, and your reputation is now Very Untrustworthy in our eyes, your people have yet to commit a crime against us, and we will not murder them because YOU have no tact. As for my own behavior here; you threatened us with war. That is literally telling me that you will mass-murder my entire family. We consider our response to be... restrained.

You have until the end of this meeting to make things right. Since you have insulted us and threatened us with war, we have accepted the right to DEFEND ourselves, and even promised not to get your people involved in your insane zealot-driven conflict. That is called Defense, not aggression. What you did is aggressive. The responsibility is on YOU to make things right. I await your timely answer, with the last ounce of my patience.


-Pepperono

[Yoyoma1910]

Yoyoma II sips upon his afternoon martini, quietly observing the constant back and forth between the various factions.

"Oh my, well this has been a rather exciting day, hasn't it. I don't suppose anyone wants to come back to my tent for the evening Barbecue. We have riblets!"