Noble Sons II- Price for Peace [Concluded]

[Askthepizzaguy]

Greetings Mighty Khan

Today I would like to request permission from you on a topic you may not be comfortable with.

I would like to request the permission that our missionaries are allowed to enter your lands in search of vegetable eaters. Our missionaries are only to search for high sources of vegetables within the population, and there will be no military spying. You have my words. If you are innocent of being a meat eater, then you would have no problems with me just having a look around. As an act of trust, I will send you food in the form of beef - we know that you come from far-away lands and are hungry.

If you are found out to be innocent, then I can help you ease your tensions with my allies the Holy Theocracy. However, if my polite request if refused then I will have no choice but to launch a joint crusade towards your lands. This is something I would not like to do.

I await your approval

Yours Sincerely

Grandmaster Taka of the Order of the Sacred Kobe Beef

We are most displeased by your threatening tone.

I am taking this before the council.

We make this a... formal tone, as we see it befitting for the mighty Khan, and hostile intentions are not in our minds. We just need to find the veggy eaters and if you can aid us that would be the best

i mean, who would give out free food just to prove someone else's innocence? im sure that it can only be a win-win situation for you. Unlike our crazy allies, we are an Order of civilization and culture and do not take war lightly. we try to settle matters through discussion, not by the blade.

please reconsider our request with a positive mind

Grandmaster Taka

You threatened us with a crusade. Your allies threatened us with force as well. Don't play innocent with me. You took a huge dump on our diplomatic relations by threatening to use force against us, then tried to cover it with perfume and flowers. Your "good cop, bad cop" routine with shlin28 does not impress me. And we are a proud people, us Noble followers of the Hungry Khan. You cannot, and will not, ever get our cooperation with even the slightest whiff of a threat.

Would you eat a plate of food covered in feces? That is what you are asking of us. To swallow a plate full of diplomatic ShadowBull feces, covered in flowers, or defend ourselves against crusader zealots. And you "wonder" why we are so quick to call you out on this garbage. We demand an immediate apology.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

(also roleplaying, delightedly)