Not going to be alone, not going on hiatus...

**a completely inoffensive name** · 04-13-2009, 08:17

Originally Posted by miotas

no need for that, this has already turned into an advice thread

Oooo, does that mean I can give half statements that seem like advice but actually doesn't contribute anything in regards to the person's problem?

EDIT: I have now changed my signature, because every advice person needs a small and totally uninformative biography about him/her.

**miotas** · 04-13-2009, 08:19

So long as they sound helpful and inspired but actually confer no benifit whatsoever then go for it my inoffensive friend

**a completely inoffensive name** · 04-13-2009, 08:21

Originally Posted by miotas

So long as they sound helpful and inspired but actually confer no benifit whatsoever then go for it my inoffensive friend

Thanks! I think I will give it a try right now:

Do whatever you feel is right, unless what you feel is right is actually wrong.

**Megas Methuselah** · 04-13-2009, 08:22

How would I go about getting a reference of myself in your sig?

**a completely inoffensive name** · 04-13-2009, 08:24

Originally Posted by Megas Methuselah

How would I go about getting a reference of myself in your sig?

Try to set goals for yourself, then work towards achieving those goals, unless you have better goals to be working towards.

**Askthepizzaguy** · 04-13-2009, 08:55

Originally Posted by Askthepizzaguy

Ok, I have poured gasoline all over it. But I can't get this lighter to work. If I hold it right next to the gasoline, I assume the sparks will kill the fire ants safely, without causing me harm? Without waiting for your reply, I will make my first attempt. I'll let you know how it turns out.

It didn't work!!! I tried to kill the fire ants but... but... bad things happened. Ok first of all, something totally not cool happened. The spark accidentally set the gasoline on fire, and then, your previous name started belching big balls of fire! Well, more like queefing big balls. Anyway, the toilet I was sitting on, when I was pouring the gasoline, also filled with gasoline somehow. And then the toilet exploded, and the scalding hot water and gasoline went someplace very bad, and I hopped toward the phone and I dialed 411 and asked for the number to 911, and they tried to charge me for the connection and I said hells no I am not going to pay for that so I hung up the phone and got into my car, still on fire and your previous name was fused completely shut, and it was very painful but somehow I managed to drive halfway to the hospital but I had to stop to get some gas, while I was still on fire and now my shirt was on fire and I didn't know what to do so I paid at the pump and tried to douse the flame with the hose thingy, and YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED NEXT It was gasoline and I set my whole self on fire and then the hose exploded, as well as the gas tanks and half a city block, and it blew me up into the air and I landed on my house and crashed through the ceiling and now I'm sitting at my desk again and I don't know what to do to put out these flames please please please please help me.

**a completely inoffensive name** · 04-13-2009, 08:57

When life hands you lemons, make some sort of lemon based drink.

**Askthepizzaguy** · 04-13-2009, 08:58

Originally Posted by a completely inoffensive name

When life hands you lemons, make some sort of lemon based drink.

Kay I tried to pour lemonade on it and GUESS what it stings like heck and it's not putting out the flames and now it burns and it stings and it itches so I have three owwies.

**a completely inoffensive name** · 04-13-2009, 09:01

Patience is a virtue, unless it is a situation that needs to be taken care of fast.

**Hooahguy** · 04-13-2009, 12:20

Originally Posted by a completely inoffensive name

When life hands you lemons, make some sort of lemon based drink.

i prefer lemon-meringue pie

**Askthepizzaguy** · 04-13-2009, 12:22

Oh my, it's hooahguy... and his offensive signature line! Oh noes!

Runz away screaming politicial incorrectness!

Hides from the flags

**miotas** · 04-13-2009, 08:58

Originally Posted by Askthepizzaguy

It didn't work!!! I tried to kill the fire ants but... but... bad things happened. Ok first of all, something totally not cool happened. The spark accidentally set the gasoline on fire, and then, your previous name started belching big balls of fire! Well, more like queefing big balls. Anyway, the toilet I was sitting on, when I was pouring the gasoline, also filled with gasoline somehow. And then the toilet exploded, and the scalding hot water and gasoline went someplace very bad, and I hopped toward the phone and I dialed 411 and asked for the number to 911, and they tried to charge me for the connection and I said hells no I am not going to pay for that so I hung up the phone and got into my car, still on fire and your previous name was fused completely shut, and it was very painful but somehow I managed to drive halfway to the hospital but I had to stop to get some gas, while I was still on fire and now my shirt was on fire and I didn't know what to do so I paid at the pump and tried to douse the flame with the hose thingy, and YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED NEXT It was gasoline and I set my whole self on fire and then the hose exploded, as well as the gas tanks and half a city block, and it blew me up into the air and I landed on my house and crashed through the ceiling and now I'm sitting at my desk again and I don't know what to do to put out these flames please please please please help me.

Alcohol. The higher proof the better, perfect for putting out any pesky flames you might have lying around.