Treehouse of Horror- Summary thread

[Askthepizzaguy]

DO NOT POST IN THIS THREAD.

This is the game opening post:

The Treehouse of Horror- Large Simpsons Mafia game.

Setting: Springfield town, USA
Date: April 2009
Plot: After a series of grisly murders, the Springfield Police are baffled as to who is behind this new crime wave. The citizens of Springfield must root out and destroy the mafia themselves, while the mafia have their own problems to deal with; they still wish to destroy the town. And of course.... Sideshow Bob is on the loose once again.

More of the story will be revealed when my wrists aren't cramping up.


RULES:

Everyone has their roles. If you didn't get a role PM, send me a private message, don't do the "Hey, why didn't I get my role PM?" schtick; that will get you murdered nice and fast.

Begin Day One.

To give everyone time to read their role PMs, it is 535PM my time right now, and the round won't "officially" begin until 11:59PM tonight. Then each round afterwards will end at precisely 11:59 that day, my time (GMT-5:00, Eastern USA Daylight Savings Time), even if I am not here to end the round.

Good luck, and play a good clean game. Roleplaying is encouraged but entirely optional.

[Askthepizzaguy]

This is the Day one lynch post:


Day One


Comic Book Guy was heading home from the Android's dungeon, when he turned a corner and saw a violent lynch mob with torches and pitchforks.

Reverend Lovejoy: "There's the heathen! Get him!!!"

Comic Book Guy: Oooh I've wasted my life. Time to run.... oh wait. I can't even walk. I waddle.

Bart Simpson: He's not cool man. I tried to buy a comic book off of him and he wouldn't sell it to me!

Comic Book Guy: Um hello you didn't have enough cash. You know, legal tender? Now if you'll pardon me I'd like to finish reading Hi and Lois, which always makes me laugh.

Otto: He's reading! He's clearly up to something evil, mannn!

Comic Book Guy: Sir, if I were up to something evil, I could have taken over this pathetic town already. I am a member of Mensa, and my genius surpasses all of your intellects combined. Can anyone here tell me precisely why I am being lynched?

Cletus Spuckler: Well yeewwww what were talkin funny about being someone whooo yew aren't.

Lisa Simpson: Yeah, and you revealed your role pm, and that's against the rules.

Monty Burns: Are we going to burn the fat one?

Waylon Smithers: Uhhh yes sir. I've spoken with our lawyers, and they found out that mob rule is still legal in this town, ever since the Terwilliger administration.

Monty Burns: Excellent. This lollygagging graphic-novel reading slovenly layabout should make a fine addition to my collection of wild animal throw rugs. I'll call this one the "plush fatty" and use it in the master bathroom, for you to wipe my feet on when you're done giving me my daily skin scraping and sponge bath. Now fetch me some Cold Duck, post-haste, so we can celebrate the festivities!

Aristotle Amidopolis: Quite right! This TOWN should LYNCH this disgusting fat lazy pig, or I am not voiced by the venerable Jon Lovitz! That's RIGHT! They call this.... ACTING!!!

Kang: Mmmm.... delicious Earthlings...

Kodos: Yes, let's eat the fat one....

Comic Book Guy: WHY don't you shaddap-a-your face-a????

.......

Springfieldians: "Huh???"

Comic Book Guy: It's a me, Luigi Risotto. I own the Luigi's ristorante. We serve-a you Pizza and pasta, and we also tell-a you how ugly your face is. You don't tip worth a darn, and you leave-a your-a screaming babies inside-a my place of business and it hurts-a my customer's ears. And let me tella you something: You may have captured me, but you will never capture my-a boss. I work for the....

*a shot was fired, and Luigi Risotto, AKA Comic Book Guy, was shot dead before he could utter another word.*

No one knew where the shot came from, but the mafia obviously didn't want to be revealed by one of their soldiers. There were so many people in the crowd, it was difficult to determine from which direction the bullet came.





Alive: 39


777Ares777
AVSM
AggonyDuck
Beefy
Boudica
Captain Blackadder
Chaotix
Death is Yonder
Diana Abnoba
El Diablo
Fixiwee
GeneralHankerchief
Glenn
GobbledyGook
Greyblades
Ichigo
Ituralde
Jolt
KarlXII
Khazaar
LittleGrizzly
Lord Winter
Navarro
NorthNovas
Olavi
Psychonaut
Quintus.JC
Reenk Roink
Sasaki Kojiro
Shinseikhaan
SplitPersonality
Taka
TheFlax
Tristan de Castelreng
Warman
White_eyes
YLC
Yoyoma1910
shlin28

Lynched: (1)

pevergreen- Luigi Risotto (as Comic Book Guy)



________________


Begin Night One. All orders to me by midnight April 13th, my time (GMT-5) You have roughly 23 1/2 hours.

[Askthepizzaguy]

This is the Night one murder post:

Night One

Greetings, Bob.

This is your brother, Cecil. I trust you are enjoying your freedom from prison? Not spending ALL your time at the Opera are you? You might as well get it over with and marry the fat lady. Speaking of which, has the fat lady sung for Springfield yet? I understand you're going to strike fear into the hearts of the pathetic fools of this town by murdering a sweet and innocent little boy. How barbaric. Well, older brother, you were always the one who was willing to get his hands dirty. You may have escaped from our shared cell but if it weren't for your big feet getting in the way, I would have as well. So you owe me, brother. When you murder everyone in Springfield, come break me out of this rat-infested cage. And do send me some rat poison and a couple of hundred bottles of Lysol, and some sanitizer-wipes. I'm not as used to prison as you are brother, and this place is filthy. Do you know that the janitor only washes my toilet bowl THREE times a day?

Utterly repugnant service here. The crab cakes here are made by a chef who is... ugh... American. Entirely uncultured bunch of rednecks. Just because we are American, that doesn't mean we can't act like Europeans. I didn't spend four years in Princeton to be flipping burgers behind a prison lunch counter. Kill them all, dear brother... kill them all.... and laugh while you're doing it.

Bonne chance, cher frère.

-Cecil Terwilliger

Murder number one:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Homer Simpson was sitting at home watching Monday Night Football... (in April? Of course. Haven't you ever heard of the Springfield Football League? It's like the NFL, except for just Springfield State and parts of Canada)...when all of a sudden:

........*static*

Homer Simpson: D'oh!!! What's wrong with this stupid thing now? Lisa! The TV's broken again! Get your butt down here!!!

......*crackling noise* (The television set sputters back to life)

Homer Simpson: Oooh the TV fixed itself. Heh heh heh. (hugs the TV) let's never fight again. Mmmm.... TV..... *gurgling noise* Television: Teacher, mother... secret lover! Rowrrrr....

Sideshow Bob: Greetings, foolish people of Springfield. It is I, Sideshow Bob, here to once again exact my revenge on you for locking me away in your vile prisons.

Homer Simpson: Oooh revenge! This ought to be interesting.

Sideshow Bob: For tonight's entertainment, I will be executing an innocent, darling child, live on this wonderful media of television. You lazy American fools like to watch fake violence, don't you?

Homer Simpson: Damn straight! OOOOH Maybe he'll kill the boy...

Homer's Brain: No, don't kill the boy. Just strangle him for a little while.

Homer Simpson: Whatever you say... as long as I can keep killing you with beer, we're all set.

Sideshow Bob: "Citizens of this podunk little town filled with uneducated rednecks, I now present for your viewing pleasure: The Death of Milhouse Van Houten!!!

Milhouse: Help! Bart! I think this guy is serious. Where's my glasses?

Homer Simpson: About time they got that little snot. He's such a dork. Heh heh heh. Look at that little wiener squirm!

Sideshow Bob: The method of murder.... tonight, I'll go with a classic. Just a simple, quick, painless slice of the neck. Nothing too overly brutal for you.

Homer Simpson: BORING!!! Oooh look my beer is empty. Marge? Can you get me another beer? .....MARGE!!!! Oh fine I'll get it myself.

Sideshow Bob: On the other hand... I could always pretend you are Bart Simpson... and take out some of my frustrations...

Milhouse: Can you tell Lisa Simpson that I.... I..... Love her?

Sideshow Bob: Oh rest assured, you little twerp, if I ever find her, I will destroy her for thwarting my many brilliant schemes. She's on my list, right after Bart.... Bart... Bart... BART SIMPSON!!!

*Sideshow Bob goes into a blind rage and stabs Milhouse over and over and over again, live on camera*

Homer Simpson: What did I miss? Oh look the football game is on. Sweet.



Sasaki Kojiro (Milhouse Van Houten) is dead.

Murder number two:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Marge Simpson: I would like to speak to Mayor Quimby, please.

Secretary: Let me connect your call, please hold.

Marge: Of course!

Male voice: This is "Diamond" Joe Quimby. How may I uh... be of service?

Marge: This is Marge Simpson. I am calling because you ordered over one thousand pretzels from the Pretzel Wagon for your inauguration, and according to my records, you didn't pay. Would you be willing to make a payment over the phone or send me a check?

Quimby: Actually, I uh... thought my assistant was going to err aahhh handle that. Right now I am uh... polling the electorate.

Unknown female voice: (giggles)

Quimby: Quiet, Porche.

Marge: I'll have you know, mister Mayor, that my family needs that money and will be very upset if you don't send us the money. PLEASE, PLEASE send us the money.

Quimby: Can I pay you in singles, sweetie?

Marge: Don't call me sweetie!

Quimby: I wasn't talking to you! What do you say err ah Porche will you and Lexus do that thing I told you to do?

Porche: Okay!

Marge: Mister mayor, it is vitally important that you pay us! Stop spending money on.... ladies of the evening... and fulfill your financial obligations!

*click*

Marge: Hello??? Hello??? Oh dear... oh dear.... oh dear.... This is bad. This is very bad. Fat Tony is going to kill me. I didn't want to do this, and I hope I never, ever have to do this again...

*Marge pulls the gun out of her purse from the "Cartridge Family" episode.*

Mayor Quimby was found shot to death the next day.


Death is Yonder (Mayor Quimby) is dead over yonder.

Murder number three:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Krusty the Clown: Yeah, send him in.

Otto Mann: Woah, where am I? Heyyy mann... I saw you on TV. You're Crunchy the clown!

Krusty: Close enough. Did you get the medication I requested?

Otto: Suuure man, I got some quality stuff. I got the red ones, the green ones, the dark red ones, and the blue ones. There's also this olive colored one which is really funky, and there's a purple one that you should only take on special occasions, and a Magenta colored one which is like, all of them combined. It's crazy mann.... Oh, and of course, I also got some of the wacky tobacco. This is stuff you can really party with while listening to Led Zeppelin.

Krusty: Great. I think I'll take one of the red ones, and a cigarette.

Otto: Okay man, but how are you going to pay for all this? There's got to be a year's worth of stuff here. It's going to cost you!

Krusty: Actually, it's going to cost you....

Krusty hits Otto over the head with a comedy sledgehammer, smashing his skull to pieces


Greyblades (Otto Mann) is killed

Murder number four:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Abraham Simpson was walking back to the Springfield Retirement Castle from the drug store, when suddenly a hoodlum driving a bumper car smashed into him on the sidewalk.

Nelson Muntz was wearing a Pickelhaube, a spiked German helmet from world war I, and he lowered his head and rammed it into Abe Simpson's backside, then drove off in his bumper car, with a characteristic "HA HA!!!"

Abe Simpson was wounded, badly, but he was wearing Life Alert and was sent to Springfield Hospital where he was operated on, treated and released.

No one died from this murder attempt.

A telephone rang.

Anonymous: Hello?

Male voice: This is Johnny Tightlips. I just wanted you to know everything is going according to plan, except for that one survivor. Perhaps this Nelson Muntz isn't as skilled a henchman as we thought.

Anonymous: I understand. See to it that the activities tomorrow go more smoothly, my friend.

Johnny Tightlips: I am afraid I cannot help you in dis matter. I am still in Sicily and I am under orders not to get involved.

Anonymous: Oh very well. Tell my soldiers to do this old Italian stereotype a favor, and make sure that the entire town of Springfield will belong to me within the month. I have-a big plans for the place. It will be like Las Vegas, nothing but casinoes and stripper bars and fine Italian restaurants.

Johnny Tightlips: Oh, but Don, you're not a stereotype.

Anonymous: Yes, I know it, I am. It'sa all right. I don'ta mind. As long as Springfield belongs to my family, I don't care what people say about me. I can always make-a them disappear.

Johnny Tightlips: I'll keep in contact. Ciao, Don.

Anonymous: Ciao.

__________Summary____________

Sasaki Kojiro was murdered
Death is Yonder was murdered
Greyblades was murdered
One player survived a murder attempt

Alive: 36


777Ares777
AVSM
AggonyDuck
Beefy
Boudica
Captain Blackadder
Chaotix
Diana Abnoba
El Diablo
Fixiwee
GeneralHankerchief
Glenn
GobbledyGook
Ichigo
Ituralde
Jolt
KarlXII
Khazaar
LittleGrizzly
Lord Winter
Navarro
NorthNovas
Olavi
Psychonaut
Quintus.JC
Reenk Roink
Shinseikhaan
SplitPersonality
Taka
TheFlax
Tristan de Castelreng
Warman
White_eyes
YLC
Yoyoma1910
shlin28

Lynched: (1)

pevergreen- Luigi Risotto (as Comic Book Guy)

Murdered: (3)

Death is Yonder- Mayor Quimby
Sasaki Kojiro- Milhouse Van Houten
Greyblades- Otto Mann



Begin Day Two. All votes should be in 48 hours from now, but I may end this round at midnight that day as well, which is an additional 2 hours or so.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Day Two:

An election supervisor, appointed to replace Mayor Quimby, stood in city hall with his watch about to strike midnight to end all voting. The Squeaky Voiced Teen stood there and started to speak: "Okay... looks like the round will end right about....." A hand put a vote into the ballot box just before the deadline. "...now." said the Teen. There was some commotion about whether that last vote got in on time, and so a hand recount was started. Waylon Smithers grumbled as the votes were counted, and the initial results seemed to not go in his favor. He stood up, walked over to the election supervisor, and said: "You can put a stop to this recount right now. I just want to tell my sweetheart that I love him."

Waylon Smithers walked up to Charles Montgomery Burns, got down on his knees, and grabbed his friend and mentor's hand. "Mister Burns... I've served you faithfully as your assistant for over 20 years. I've doted on you, cared for you, and I've been your most trusted adviser. It has been my pleasure to be at your beck and call, day and night, and stand up for you in sickness and in health. I know that my feelings for you will never, ever be mutual... but deep down inside, my heart will always long for you, I will always care for you, and I will always desire that thing which I can never have. You are my inspiration, you are my most treasured and beloved one, and I feel that in this, my final hour, I have no longer any reason to hold back my true feelings for you. You are a work of art that I have admired since the day we met. I love everything about you, from your smooth balding head, to your gentle back hump, your soft, sensuous lips, and your enchanting musk. You have the delicate hands of an angel, you carry yourself like the finest gentleman in the world. You are passionate, daring, bold, and decisive. You are a brilliant man and my greatest teacher. You have allowed me to stay in your magnificent home, and though I must always return to my apartment filled with Malibu Stacy dolls and pink wallpaper, I always log on to my computer and I am greeted by that most tantalizing of welcoming sounds:

"Hello.... Smithers.... You're...Quite...Good...At...........Turning...Me...On."

I breathe a sigh of affection whenever I hear this, and I keep a box of tissues nearby to wipe away my.... err... tears. My darling angel, my beloved one, my iron-willed, sweet, sensitive, and caring man... I will always and forever, deeply, passionately, and eternally love you. I love you sir! I LOVE YOU MISTER BURNS!!! I LOVE YOU.... CHARLES MONTGOMERY BURNS!!!"

Clancy Wiggum and his crew of police officers dragged him off to be executed, with Mr. Burns looking slightly confused and embarrassed. "Well thank you for making our last few moments together socially awkward." said Burns. Professor Frink stepped forward to unveil his latest invention.

Frink: Well, according to my calculations, the funniest way for this... err ah... person to be executed would be feeding him too many bananas until he explodes. So, what I've invented is the FRINXECTIONER 3000. This device will strap the uh.... victim down on this table on his hands and knees, and this apparatus here will hold his back, neck, and head in place while we feed him the bananas. Everyone here will take turns shoving their bananas into his mouth, while the FRINK-O-BLASTER covers him with hot marshmallow sauce for no apparent reason. M'GOY. This button here causes the entire thing to vibrate, and this switch plays "Endless Love". I'm not sure why I put that in there, but the more buttons a device has, the cooler and more useful it is. I'm also pretty sure it gets HBO and has a supercomputer attached to it here so that it can calculate the precise frequency of vibration for each victim, such that they will explode when the final banana is shoved deep inside their mouth. GOYVIN-GLAVIN!!!

Waylon Smithers: "I'd be fine with that. Strap me in and let it rip!"

And so the entire town took turns shoving their bananas inside Smithers mouth. Finally, Monty Burns came up, barely able to hold on to his banana with his infant-like strength, and he tried to peel it for Smithers.

Monty Burns: "Smithers, one last favor if you would please... peel my banana."

Waylon Smithers: "I've been waiting for 20 years for you to ask me this. Since I have my hands strapped down, I'll have to use my mouth.

Monty Burns: "Okay then, here's my banana, put it in your mouth Smithers while I give it a good tug."


Just then, Smithers exploded, without ever having the banana in his mouth. He died with a smile on his face.








Alive: 35


777Ares777
AVSM
AggonyDuck
Beefy
Boudica
Captain Blackadder
Chaotix
Diana Abnoba
El Diablo
Fixiwee
GeneralHankerchief
Glenn
GobbledyGook
Ichigo
Ituralde
Jolt
KarlXII
Khazaar
LittleGrizzly
Lord Winter
Navarro
NorthNovas
Olavi
Psychonaut
Quintus.JC
Shinseikhaan
SplitPersonality
Taka
TheFlax
Tristan de Castelreng
Warman
White_eyes
YLC
Yoyoma1910
shlin28

Lynched: (2)

pevergreen- Luigi Risotto (as Comic Book Guy)
Reenk Roink- Waylon Smithers

Murdered: (3)

Death is Yonder- Mayor Quimby
Sasaki Kojiro- Milhouse Van Houten
Greyblades- Otto Mann




Night two- orders to me by 11:59 my time, which is Eastern USA Daylight savings time. (GMT-5) (let's get it right this time.)

[Askthepizzaguy]

Night Two

Greetings, Bob.

This is your brother, Cecil.

Are you daft? I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to accomplish. He's just an old man, and an accident-prone one at that. If your goal is to take out everyone in Springfield, this... mole person is not the way to go about it. He's bound to die on his own anyway. However, I suppose you do know what you're doing. Why not go after your hated nemesis; Bart Simpson? Or perhaps Lisa? In fact, everyone in the Simpson family should go down. They have interfered in our plans too many times to be kept alive. By the time you get this letter, it will be too late anyway, but I felt the need to voice my concerns. If you wish to exact revenge against the people of Springfield, I suggest you look at the people who have foiled you so many times in the past. Once they are dead, the rest of Springfield will fall like dominoes.

Speaking of dominoes, there aren't any games here worth playing. The only person capable of beating me at chess in this dusty prison is me, and I've memorized the solution to checkers. There are no books to read, except religious pamphlets, and I think you know how I feel about that. I've been attempting to fashion a rudimentary explosive device and break out of this cell, but the only explosives I've been able to make involve chewing gum, tobacco juice, lighters, human hair, and copious amounts of nitroglycerin. Of course, all the other ingredients would be unnecessary if I could just get more nitroglycerin, which I am fresh out of. The bomb as it is currently assembled wouldn't blow apart a soda can, and it doesn't even burn that well.

I've learned to avoid singing opera in the showers, because the other inmates weren't very kind to me. I still can't sit down. Get me out of this wretched little rat hole, and soon, dear brother.

-Cecil Terwilliger

Murder number one:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Hans Moleman was driving his AMC Gremlin home from the grocery store, where he bought a 1/2 gallon of milk and 11 eggs, all of them cracked from dropping them multiple times. His car swerved into a ditch, rolled to a safe and gentle stop, nearly hitting a tree. Moleman was safe.

Hans Moleman: "ooh dear.... hit another speed bump.... ohhhh... Now there is egg all over my lovely car... my beautiful car... ohhh nooooo... I'll never get a car this reliable agaaaaaaiiiinnnn..... I just made my last payment."

Just then, the radio crackled to life.

Sideshow Bob: Greetings, you elderly simpleton. This is Robert Underdunk Terwilliger. I trust you've enjoyed your stay here on Earth. However, you have failed to pay your rent, and so I must evict you. If you are a religious man, I will give you ten seconds to pray to your God or gods. If you are not, allow me to entertain you with my rendition of the HMS Pinafore.

For he himself has said it
And it's clearly to his credit
That he is an english man...
He remains an EEeeeEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEeeeeee......English Man!!

Thank you... thank you..... and Goodbye!"

Hans Moleman: That was lovely.



BOOOOOOM!!!!!

Hans Moleman: Oh dear... I'm on fire.... that's probably not very good. Nurse? Can someone help me please? oooooohhhh.... I need to go lie down.

Hans Moleman was murdered. And yet, somehow, he is still alive.

Murder number two:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Homer Simpson was sitting on his couch, and he opened a can of beer. It exploded all over his face, (D'oh!) and he was very angry.

Homer: GRRRRRRR!!!!!! BART!!! GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE!!!!

Nelson Muntz was outside the window, and he said "HA HA!!!"

Homer Simpson: "Why you little...!"

Nelson Muntz: "Hey grandpa, how did you get so slow and fat? Oh, no, I'd better run or else you're going to get me! BOO HOOO!!!"

Homer Simpson: I'll smash you good!
(he leaps out of the window with amazing grace and determination, for a fat man. His landing was less graceful, because he landed on a rake.)

Homer Simpson: OOOOWWWW!!!

Nelson Muntz: "Betcha can't catch me, doofus! By the way, I stole all your beer and I burned all your playboys."

Homer Simpson: Not my secret stash! No one steals my beer!!!

Nelson dashed to the backyard, where he pelted Homer with water balloons.

Homer Simpson: "D'oh!" *splash* "D'oh!" *splash* "D'oh!" *splash* "D'oh!" *splash* "D'oh!"

Neslon Muntz started climbing the ladder of the treehouse. "By the way, I filled those balloons with pee. Hope you don't mind, flabby!"

Homer Simpson's face grew blood red, and he ran faster than he ever had before, even when he was trying to strangle Bart Simpson for lying about being a genius and cheating on an IQ test. He was just about to catch Nelson but the kid squirmed out of his grip and up into the treehouse.
Huffing and puffing, Homer managed to climb the ladder and looked around for the little twerp. He looked and Nelson was standing in a corner, holding a B-B gun.

Nelson Muntz: Say good night, Simpson!

*Bang* Homer Simpson was shot in the face, and reeled in pain.

Homer Simpson: OOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!

He fell out of the treehouse and on his way to the ground, let out one final, whimpering, painful-

Homer: "D'oh...."

CRACK!!!

Homer Simpson's neck was snapped by the impact. Homer Simpson (Shinseikhaan) is dead.

Murder number three:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Cletus Spuckler was at home with his 44 children. Brandine was sorting the mail.

Brandine: "Bill..... bill.... bill.... overdue.... third notice.... nothin' but garbage here. Oh goody! Our welfare check. And lookie here, thar what were a coupon in the mail. Says kids eat free at The Frying Dutchman."

Cletus Spuckler: "Kids, get in the trucks and the trailers. We're eatin' seafood ageeeen. Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermot, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendall, Caitlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kyra, Ian, Lauren, Qbert, Phil... and all the rest of yall move it."

.....they drive to the Frying Dutchman....

Squeaky Voiced Teen: Can I *help* the next person in line *please*.

Cletus: Yeah I what were saw dis coupon in der mail, and I come to feed all my kids for free. I got ID cards an' birth certificates for all of them. Gimme 100 Seafood platters for free, 12 boxes of freedom fries, and 6 crates of Cherry Cola. As for me and Brandine, we'll split a fish sandwich."

Squeaky Voiced Teen: "That will be a dollar fifty."

Captain McCallister: WHAT? I'll be ruined you idiot! YARRR!!! It's supposed to say "limit 4 children per coupon".

Cletus: Oh don't worry I got a bunch of them coupons saved up. Here's your buck fifty.

Captain McCallister: Sure, uh... just come on in the back. I want to show you the meat grinder. Yar.

Cletus: Sure! I always wanted to see where meat comes from.

Sea Captain: Why don't you lean over and see it more closely.... watch the meat come out.
(McCallister turns on the massive grinder)

Cletus: I don't see nothin coming!

Sea Captain: I guess not, you idiot.

*bumps Cletus into the meat grinder*



Cletus Spuckler (Tristan de Castelreng) is murdered by the Sea Captain.

Murder number four

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Professor Frink: Well, you see Krusty, I have managed to create a burger that tastes, smells, and feels exactly like a burger made out of meat, meat by products, carcinogenic compounds, ashes, ground up plastic, rat droppings, and filler... your basic Krusty Burger... and it's made out of easily grown, healthy vegetables, and some artificial flavoring.. How much did you say you were willing to pay for the recipe?

Krusty the Clown: Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero. Nothing you little twerp.

Professor Frink: Well... m'hay... that's very confuseling. I am not sure why you'd want me to tell you my BRILLIANT plan to change the Krusty Burger franchise into a health food chain, for the low, low price of only 12 billion dollars.

Krusty: Does this help explain?

*gunshot*

Professor Frink: GOYVIN GLAVIN!!!

Krusty: Yeah, whatever, you Jerry Lewis wannabe.



Professor Frink (Ituralde) was murdered.

Murder number five:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Kang: Very interesting... I see an earthling who looks mighty delicious. Kodos, full stop.

Kodos: Did you vote for me, by the way?

Kang: Shut up, that reference doesn't even apply here. We get it, you've seen the Simpsons. Shut the heck up already! WE GET IT! Homer Simpson said "don't blame me, I voted for Kodos." First of all, it's not original to just rip off material, and all these episode references are lost on the non-Simpsons fans. So get out the cookbook which says "How to cook for forty humans" on its very very dusty cover, covered in space dust.

Kodos: Affirmative. Time to cook the humans.

Kang: Transportermogrification complete. The human known as Marge Simpson is now in the holding cell.

(they enter the room with the holding cell)

Marge Simpson: What are you going to do to me? Are you going to probe me? Fine, let's get it over with.

Kang and Kodos: NOOOOOOO!!!!

Kang: We have reached the limits of what rectal probing can teach us.

Kodos: We're just going to eat you, foolish human.

Marge Simpson: Well that's not very nice. You should be ashamed of yourselves. You're supposed to be a superior, enlightened civilization, but you insist on capturing innocent sentient life forms and cooking them! What would your MOTHERS think?

Kang: Hmmm.... pathetic human is correct. This seems wrong.

Kodos: Very well. You have shown us the error of our ways. We will release you, human.

Kang (releasing the forcefield): We will make peace with you humans. Apparently we "misunderestimated" you.

Marge Simpson: Aww.... oh come here... let me show you human compassion.

(Marge pulls out a rifle and shoots Kang)

BLAM!

Kodos: Awesome. I'm still alive! The human race obviously favors Kodos after all! So much for the electoral process!

Marge Simpson: From the bottom of my heart, and I speak for the entire human race... die you grotesque and hideous blob of green goo!

Kodos: D'oh!!!

BLAM!





Kang and Kodos (KarlXII) were murdered by Marge Simpson.

-----------------Summary-----------------

Shinseikhaan was murdered by Neslon Muntz
Tristan de Castelreng was murdered by The Sea Captain
Ituralde was murdered by Krusty the Clown
KarlXII was murdered by Marge Simpson
One player survived a murder.

Alive: 31


777Ares777
AVSM
AggonyDuck
Beefy
Boudica
Captain Blackadder
Chaotix
Diana Abnoba
El Diablo
Fixiwee
GeneralHankerchief
Glenn
GobbledyGook
Ichigo
Jolt
Khazaar
LittleGrizzly
Lord Winter
Navarro
NorthNovas
Olavi
Psychonaut
Quintus.JC
SplitPersonality
Taka
TheFlax Greyblades
Warman Beaver
White_eyes
YLC
Yoyoma1910
shlin28

Lynched: (2)

pevergreen- Luigi Risotto (as Comic Book Guy)
Reenk Roink- Waylon Smithers

Murdered: (7)

Death is Yonder- Mayor Quimby
Sasaki Kojiro- Milhouse Van Houten
Greyblades- Otto Mann
Shinseikhaan- Homer Simpson
Tristan de Castelreng- Cletus Spuckler
Ituralde- Professor Frink
KarlXII- Kang and Kodos



Begin Day Three. Day ends on 23:59, April 18th, (GMT-5) all votes should be in by then. Try not to cut it close like last time.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Day Three


I have ruled that the original votes should count, and the illegal votes should be rejected, as I established by precedent last round. If I alter this now, it will be unfair to all players. Furthermore, I announced earlier this round that I had a new method of deciding tied votes, as the vote currently stands, it is tied 7-7, rejecting illegal votes, which I should do.

Homer Simpson.... Homer Simpson.... Homer Simpson!

The Ghost of Homer Jay Simpson: D'oh! Hello? Is this thing on? Marge? Kids? .....Flanders? Where am I? I fell out of the treehouse.... and now I feel like I've lost about 249 pounds. I feel light as a feather! Now, I understand that I'm dead... apparently that little jerk what's-his-name killed me. Now... I have retu-u-u-u-rned from the dead.... woooooo...... spooky, aren't I? Heh heh heh.

Now, I've returned for a very important purpose... to decide all your tied votes for you. Last night something terrible happened to me... and the Five-Fingered God has given me the task of being the Grim Reaper. Since I've always sort of had a thing for Miss Krabappel.... roowwwrrrr.... (sorry, Marge) I've decided that Krabappel should live!

Even better.... I've decided that the BOY must die! Come here, Bart... time to pay for all your pranks. It's time for the ultimate time out.

Bart Simpson: Whatever man, eat my shorts. By the way, I was the one who shook up all your beer cans. And I hope you don't mind, I maxed out your credit cards.

The Ghost of Homer Simpson: WHY YOU LITTLE!!!!

*Homer strangles Bart Simpson as they ascend to heaven*

LG- 8 (Jolt, Thermal, QJC, AVSM, YLC, boudica, Diana) +1 (Shinseikhaan)
boudica- 7 (fixiwee, LG, shlin, SP, Aggony, Psychonaut, WE)
Gh- 5 (Ichigo, Beefy, Blackadder, Glenn, Chaotix)
Ichigo- 1 (ED)
Psychonaut- 1 (Yoyoma)
Blackadder- 1 (GH)
Abstain: 4 (Taka, NN, Beaver, Greyblades)



Alive: 30


777Ares777
AVSM
AggonyDuck
Beefy
Boudica
Captain Blackadder
Chaotix
Diana Abnoba
El Diablo
Fixiwee
GeneralHankerchief
Glenn
GobbledyGook
Ichigo
Jolt
Khazaar
Lord Winter
Navarro
NorthNovas
Olavi
Psychonaut
Quintus.JC
SplitPersonality
Taka
TheFlax Greyblades
Warman Beaver
White_eyes
YLC
Yoyoma1910
shlin28

Lynched: (3)

pevergreen- Luigi Risotto (as Comic Book Guy)
Reenk Roink- Waylon Smithers
LittleGrizzly- Bart Simpson

Murdered: (7)

Death is Yonder- Mayor Quimby
Sasaki Kojiro- Milhouse Van Houten
Greyblades- Otto Mann
Shinseikhaan- Homer Simpson
Tristan de Castelreng- Cletus Spuckler
Ituralde- Professor Frink
KarlXII- Kang and Kodos


Night ends roughly 23 hours from now: 2359, April 19th (GMT-5). Orders to me now.