It's funny you bring it up Brenus (best of luck and pluck to your nephew).

Thinking back, I didn't consult my family either in my teens/early twenties, just presented them with 'done deals'.

Yet I expected my sons to consult me. And the oldest did (well, sort of: he never asks me "What do you think?"; rather he says: "I gonna do this, or that." Then I ask "Is that a question?", LOL.) Still, it's better than what I did: "Oh, btw, I'm in the army", "Oh, btw, I'm getting married".

On putting one's life in the hands of poli's with dubious scruples and motivations: being drafted kinda solved that issue for me initially; then I served under 5 different CinC's voluntarily, finding that their politics didn't change my life as a soldier very much, only the geography of where I'd serve.