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Thread: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

  1. #1
    Banned Kadagar_AV's Avatar
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    Default Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    This is wayyyy too good not to be brought up here...

    Basicly, a polish catholic priest has just released a steamy book regarding catholics sex-life. Forget the old taboo-view and sinful regrets!

    He gives advice on different sexual positions, how to have hot oral sex and so on...

    I mean, don't get me wrong, I've always known catholic girls (preferably from a boarding school) are the most naughty ones out there... But this just takes it such a nice step further!

    GO GO CATHOLIC CHURCH!!!


  2. #2
    ............... Member Scurvy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    Good for him,

    Sex as you don't know it: For married couples who love God
    Snappy title also


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    Banned Kadagar_AV's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    I hope the book has a happy ending...

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    Ranting madman of the .org Senior Member Fly Shoot Champion, Helicopter Champion, Pedestrian Killer Champion, Sharpshooter Champion, NFS Underground Champion Rhyfelwyr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    "Every act — a type of caress, a sexual position — with the goal of arousal is permitted and pleases God,"

    Thank you for making God sound like a pervert, it is stuff like this that makes me disdain of the Catholic Church.
    At the end of the day politics is just trash compared to the Gospel.

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    Banned Kadagar_AV's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    "Every act — a type of caress, a sexual position — with the goal of arousal is permitted and pleases God,"

    I guess I have pleased Got a LOT this winter then. Or wait, do I have to be married with the woman in question or is it enough if the woman is married?

  6. #6
    Ranting madman of the .org Senior Member Fly Shoot Champion, Helicopter Champion, Pedestrian Killer Champion, Sharpshooter Champion, NFS Underground Champion Rhyfelwyr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    Just ask your local priest, getting away with as much as possible seems to be the spirit of the day.
    At the end of the day politics is just trash compared to the Gospel.

  7. #7
    Horse Archer Senior Member Sarmatian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    Quote Originally Posted by Rhyfelwyr View Post
    "Every act — a type of caress, a sexual position — with the goal of arousal is permitted and pleases God,"

    Thank you for making God sound like a pervert, it is stuff like this that makes me disdain of the Catholic Church.
    I like the idea that God is a pervert, because then I'm 100% made in His image...

  8. #8
    This comment is witty! Senior Member LittleGrizzly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    Thank you for making God sound like a pervert, it is stuff like this that makes me disdain of the Catholic Church.

    If god gave us these sexual organs, surely he wants us to experience pleasure with them... inside a loving mono something relationship....
    In remembrance of our great Admin Tosa Inu, A tireless worker with the patience of a saint. As long as I live I will not forget you. Thank you for everything!

  9. #9
    Know the dark side Member Askthepizzaguy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    Just keep in mind, everything in the universe is something God imagined up and said, much like Jean-Luc Picard, "Make it so". You couldn't ever have a creative thought because God is everywhere and all knowing and all powerful. There is nothing in existence that is yours because God made your brain and he knows everything that could possibly come from it. Therefore, when he designed your brain, intelligently, he knew just how perverted it could be, and he sees all. He's the ultimate voyeur, that's how he gets his jollies.

    So roll up your sleeves and do something interesting, because that's all this really is; a giant staged professional wrestling match complete with violence and sexual innuendo, and you don't want God to change the channel, now do you?
    #Winstontoostrong
    #Montytoostronger

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    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    Quote Originally Posted by Askthepizzaguy View Post
    Just keep in mind, everything in the universe is something God imagined up and said, much like Jean-Luc Picard, "Make it so". You couldn't ever have a creative thought because God is everywhere and all knowing and all powerful. There is nothing in existence that is yours because God made your brain and he knows everything that could possibly come from it. Therefore, when he designed your brain, intelligently, he knew just how perverted it could be, and he sees all. He's the ultimate voyeur, that's how he gets his jollies.

    So roll up your sleeves and do something interesting, because that's all this really is; a giant staged professional wrestling match complete with violence and sexual innuendo, and you don't want God to change the channel, now do you?
    The battle between good and evil is waged everyday. The devil is very real and he will try to knock you off the Godly path.

    To assume it is as trivial as televison is luaghable.
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  11. #11
    Know the dark side Member Askthepizzaguy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    I'm not on any Godly path. I'm happily non-religious and I fear the Devil as much as I fear the Tooth Fairy.
    #Winstontoostrong
    #Montytoostronger

  12. #12
    Useless Member Member Fixiwee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    Quote Originally Posted by Strike For The South View Post
    The battle between good and evil is waged everyday. The devil is very real and he will try to knock you off the Godly path.

    To assume it is as trivial as televison is luaghable.
    Hu? What? This reads like a wikipedia entry, just missing the semi fictional quotes. Like...
    Quote Originally Posted by Strike For The South
    The battle between good and evil is waged everyday[1]. The devil is very real and he will try to knock you off the Godly path[2].

    To assume it is as trivial as televison is luaghable[3].

  13. #13

    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    Quote Originally Posted by Strike For The South View Post
    The battle between good and evil is waged everyday. The devil is very real and he will try to knock you off the Godly path.

    To assume it is as trivial as televison is luaghable.
    God should have made the path to heaven a maglev train, not a wobbly bridge you walk across. I would like to see the Devil try to knock that **** over let alone catch up with it. That's just a piss poor job of infrastructure planning and upgrading by the big guy, and if I was to spend eternity in one of two places I would rather have the convenience of traveling through hell toward my enternal punishment lightning fast then walking a day and half in heaven just to get to the neverending bacon buffet.

    -ACIN


  14. #14
    Praefectus Fabrum Senior Member Anime BlackJack Champion, Flash Poker Champion, Word Up Champion, Shape Game Champion, Snake Shooter Champion, Fishwater Challenge Champion, Rocket Racer MX Champion, Jukebox Hero Champion, My House Is Bigger Than Your House Champion, Funky Pong Champion, Cutie Quake Champion, Fling The Cow Champion, Tiger Punch Champion, Virus Champion, Solitaire Champion, Worm Race Champion, Rope Walker Champion, Penguin Pass Champion, Skate Park Champion, Watch Out Champion, Lawn Pac Champion, Weapons Of Mass Destruction Champion, Skate Boarder Champion, Lane Bowling Champion, Bugz Champion, Makai Grand Prix 2 Champion, White Van Man Champion, Parachute Panic Champion, BlackJack Champion, Stans Ski Jumping Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Sofa Longjump Champion Seamus Fermanagh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    Quote Originally Posted by Rhyfelwyr View Post
    Just ask your local priest, getting away with as much as possible seems to be the spirit of the day.
    My local priests would not agree.
    "The only way that has ever been discovered to have a lot of people cooperate together voluntarily is through the free market. And that's why it's so essential to preserving individual freedom.” -- Milton Friedman

    "The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule." -- H. L. Mencken

  15. #15
    Master of Few Words Senior Member KukriKhan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    Sorry.

    Even as a fallen-away Catholic, and some kinda apostate at that...

    It's apparent to me that
    "Married couples celebrate their sacrament, their life with Christ also during sex," Knotz writes.

    "Calling sex a celebration of the marriage sacrament raises its dignity in an exceptional way. Such a statement shocks people who learned to look at sexuality in a bad way. It is difficult for them to understand that God is also interested in their happy sex life and in this way gives them his gift."
    has been grossly misunderstood in this thread, from the OP on down.

    Am I the only one who finds RC-bashing, based on 20th century stereotypes of hawt katlick girlz offensive?

    Please. Let's not have another "girls I've had, and how I got'em" thread. This is the org backroom, not the Penthouse forums.
    Be well. Do good. Keep in touch.

  16. #16
    Awaiting the Rapture Member rotorgun's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    Hmmm....

    Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4)-American King James Version
    I guess it's up to you and your wife, but in my house it's really up to my wife. It all depends on how she might interpret undefiled.
    Rotorgun
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    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    Quote Originally Posted by LittleGrizzly View Post
    If god gave us these sexual organs, surely he wants us to experience pleasure with them... inside a loving mono something relationship....
    To quote an obscure song:

    Didn’t He know what He was doing
    Putting Eyes into my head
    If he didn’t want me watching women
    He’d have left my eyeballs dead

    Isn’t that so? Isn't that so?
    You’ve got to go where your heart says go, isn't that so?

    Didn’t He know what he was doing
    When He made the magic vine
    His own son got a reputation
    Turning water into wine

    Isn’t that so? Isn't that so?
    You’ve got to go where your heart says go, isn't that so?

  18. #18
    Praefectus Fabrum Senior Member Anime BlackJack Champion, Flash Poker Champion, Word Up Champion, Shape Game Champion, Snake Shooter Champion, Fishwater Challenge Champion, Rocket Racer MX Champion, Jukebox Hero Champion, My House Is Bigger Than Your House Champion, Funky Pong Champion, Cutie Quake Champion, Fling The Cow Champion, Tiger Punch Champion, Virus Champion, Solitaire Champion, Worm Race Champion, Rope Walker Champion, Penguin Pass Champion, Skate Park Champion, Watch Out Champion, Lawn Pac Champion, Weapons Of Mass Destruction Champion, Skate Boarder Champion, Lane Bowling Champion, Bugz Champion, Makai Grand Prix 2 Champion, White Van Man Champion, Parachute Panic Champion, BlackJack Champion, Stans Ski Jumping Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Sofa Longjump Champion Seamus Fermanagh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    Quote Originally Posted by KukriKhan View Post
    Am I the only one who finds RC-bashing, based on 20th century stereotypes of hawt katlick girlz offensive?
    No, I find it somewhat offensive as well -- and no more accurate than any other anecdotal generalization.

    Quote Originally Posted by KukriKhan
    Please. Let's not have another "girls I've had, and how I got'em" thread. This is the org backroom, not the Penthouse forums.
    It won't. Guaranteed.
    "The only way that has ever been discovered to have a lot of people cooperate together voluntarily is through the free market. And that's why it's so essential to preserving individual freedom.” -- Milton Friedman

    "The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule." -- H. L. Mencken

  19. #19
    Awaiting the Rapture Member rotorgun's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lemur View Post
    To quote an obscure song:

    Didn’t He know what He was doing
    Putting Eyes into my head
    If he didn’t want me watching women
    He’d have left my eyeballs dead

    Isn’t that so? Isn't that so?
    You’ve got to go where your heart says go, isn't that so?

    Didn’t He know what he was doing
    When He made the magic vine
    His own son got a reputation
    Turning water into wine

    Isn’t that so? Isn't that so?
    You’ve got to go where your heart says go, isn't that so?
    Thanks Lemur...that sounds like it would make a great drinking song!
    Rotorgun
    ...the general must neither be so undecided that he entirely distrusts himself, nor so obstinate as not to think that anyone can have a better idea...for such a man...is bound to make many costly mistakes
    Onasander

    Editing my posts due to poor typing and grammer is a way of life.

  20. #20
    Banned Kadagar_AV's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    the fun thing about generalizations is that they quite often are true.

    If you forbid someone to do something, and try to restrain them, they will more often than not break the rules, or spend considerable time thinking about it.

    As an example, to forbid a minority language is impossible, it will survive. Best way to get rid of it is to support it, and then the minority will have forgot the language in a few couple of hundred years, if even that.

    Human nature, we see it in the bible too, Eve and the apple.

    So, is it actually proven that catholic girls are not more naughty?

    If not, then why isnt it fair to assume so?

    Italy is probably the most catholic country in the world (after the vatican of course). When their president "what was his name" died his lover stood next to his wife at the funeral.

    Back in the opera Tosca the original joke was "I wait trying to get her in bed untill she has married, it is much easier then".

    generalizations, sure... But hey, again, generalizations are more often than not true, am I wrong?

  21. #21
    Spirit King Senior Member seireikhaan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kadagar_AV View Post
    the fun thing about generalizations is that they quite often are true.
    I hear that swedes are real dicks....
    It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then, the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.

  22. #22
    Banned Kadagar_AV's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    Shinseikhaan, possibly true. I thought Sweden was more known for blonde beautiful girls though... Again, a generalization that is true.

    If you want to mock ME though you have to use "locking people up in basements" insults. Oh, and reference to Hitler and WWII of cousre also works, but that is soooo last century.

    I did however fail to see how your post in any way contributed to the topic at hand?

    I mean, claiming Swedes are dicks... sure... so what? What was your point?

  23. #23

    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kadagar_AV View Post

    I mean, claiming Swedes are dicks... sure... so what? What was your point?
    You may not think he has one, but khaan's posts generally have a point to them, so this one must as well.

  24. #24
    Banned Kadagar_AV's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sasaki Kojiro View Post
    You may not think he has one, but khaan's posts generally have a point to them, so this one must as well.
    Enlighten me then?

    Does he generally have a point or always? You were a bit vague.

  25. #25
    Oni Member Samurai Waki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    ugh...

  26. #26
    Spirit King Senior Member seireikhaan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kadagar_AV View Post
    Shinseikhaan, possibly true. I thought Sweden was more known for blonde beautiful girls though... Again, a generalization that is true.

    If you want to mock ME though you have to use "locking people up in basements" insults. Oh, and reference to Hitler and WWII of cousre also works, but that is soooo last century.

    I did however fail to see how your post in any way contributed to the topic at hand?

    I mean, claiming Swedes are dicks... sure... so what? What was your point?
    Well, let's see, you bash religion incessantly, and so does The Celtic Viking... in other words, acting like total dicks most of the time to people who believe in a higher being. Ifso facto, swedes must be dicks because I know two of them acting like it. Weirdly, I went to a catholic high school and knew a couple of the "crazy catholic girl" syndrome you went on. Ifso facto, catholic girls are clearly all sexually repressed and just waiting to unleash all the pent up frustration in college. I also knew a few mexican-americans who had no money, and were lazy thugs, ifso facto, all mexican americans are dirt poor kleptomaniacs. I know a couple of black guys who dropped out of high school and hung around bad neighborhoods- clearly all blacks are idiots who hang around teh ghettoz.

    Point of the thread- if its a stereotype, it must be true! Better yet, act on it and use them to troll people in teh interwebz!
    It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then, the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.

  27. #27
    Banned Kadagar_AV's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    Shinseikhaan, wouldnt that have been better of in a PM? It doesnt really contribute to this discussion at large, now does it?

    Oh, and I never claimed that generalization means everyone is in a certain way, that is just retarded. However, generalizations goes as-so-far as pointing out general trends, no?

    Or in your example, a mexican in the US is probably poorer than the average and more likely to be caught stealing. This is due to social factors of course. So I wonder what point you tried to make?







    I think this is a great initiative to make the catholic church more modern. However, I do question a catholic priests ability to write about sex. I mean, really, what can/should he know about it? Or did he make intence research on the internet?

  28. #28
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Wink Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    rather childish

  29. #29
    L'Etranger Senior Member Banquo's Ghost's Avatar
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    Default Re: Catholics! Grab your wifes, it's fun time!

    This thread started badly, tailed off a little in the middle and the less said about the end the better, but apart from that it was excellent.

    (Note the past tense).

    "If there is a sin against life, it consists not so much in despairing as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this one."
    Albert Camus "Noces"

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