Short stories in Makedonia

[satalexton]

Euonos

One warm day, on the freshly 'liberated' Getic lands,
Euonos marches a small band of fresh troops to his forts.
Raised from his own (recently enriched...lavishly enriched)
coffers, (previously) disfranchaised hellenic youths,
keltoi levies from tylis, and 350 agrianian infantry.
They also 'came across' roughly a hundred or so fine horses,
which he assigned to some of the horse-trained keltoi.

Sending some of his cavalry forward as scouts,
they rest themselves upon a slight hill. A chilly stream ran
along the south, providing the men a freshening drink.
Euonos and his companions sat in the middle of the simple
tent erected by the followers. It's past afternoon, and we're
not in any hurry, mused Euonos. They'll march to the forts tomorrow.

The Getic Campaign nears it's end, The Confederacy's heartland
was sacked and peace was sued. Many slaves and talants were
gained. What remains to do is to simply 'pacify' the new lands,
and keeping the subsequent puppet rulers secure in their seats...

The agrianians guard the camp, zealous to the excess for the
Makedonian cause. Beading their eyes, they scan their surroundings
vigilantly, ever ready to grab their axes to fight on a moment's notice.
Their efforts are only appreciated by the companions, their business-like
attitude and fanatical stance irks the others, especially the hellenes.
Rowdy and youthful, the hellenes and keltoi exploited their resting
time with drinking, gambling, and wrestling. Their supplies are plentiful,
there's no need for foraging. Sun down is still hours away.

Euonos himself was about to raise a feast with his companions and officers,
when the cavalry scouts return gallopping into the camp. Ignoring swears
and curses as they trample over dice circles and smashed wine jars, the keltoi
made for the middle tent.

"Coming!" one panted, "COMING!"
Euonos sat up, a few keltoi officers hurried to help their kin off their horses.
Some were injured.

Beckoning some of the followers to tend to the wounded,
Euonos enquired, "What, who..? Coming?"
"Foes, Getic tribesmen....Not happy. One Two Three Thousand!
We fight the better, but Moc lose eye. They come for us all!"
The keltoi replied, with his limited koine tongue.
It was with the translation from a keltoi officer that clarified his words: Three thousand

Three thousand, however, still meant they're outnumbered more than 3 to 1.

A band of Getic Mauraders are approaching them.

The entire camp was whipped into a frenzy. Officers shouted,
arms unsheathed, companions readied their horses.
They all know their chances are slim, but they intend to at least
have the cavalry break out with the strategos. The rest shall fight to the end.

The Getai arrive. They stood, falx in hand, ready for the massacre to come.
Barbaroi.
Some shouted their obscene taunts, some chanted their war hymns, others threw mother insults. They're less than 3 stades away from the gates.

Euonos' entire force sallied before the front of the camp.
Their front being far shorter than their foe, they deepened their ranks to 5.
There's no point in thinning their line.

The Hellenes griped their javalins and xiphos;
the keltoi chanted as they banged their swords against their small bucklers;
the agrianians just stood there, stern faced and prepared.

Here they stand, here they fight.
All Hail Makedonia, to death and beyond.

True to the Makedonian spirit, they began to sing: (at least the Hellenes, and most Agrianians)

Onwards, O Makedones!
Right here we make our stand!
Fear no evil, Strength in soul,
Step Forth to Glory!

Arise, O brave kin!
The Vergina sun shines high!
Hoist your swords, Brace your shields,
Step Forth to Glory!

Hoist your xiphos into the clouds,
All Hail Makedonia.
To death and beyond.



Suddenly, Euonos emerged from the gates.
Alone.
Fully equipped.
Armed to the teeth.
Carrying a goat.

"Behhhhhhhhhhh" said the goat.
"Shhhhhhhhhhhh" said Euonos.
The people and barbaroi, stared.

Euonos trots out,
to right between the 2 battlelines.

"Behhhhhhhhhhh" said the goat.
"Shhhhhhhhhhhh" said Euonos.
The people and barbaroi, stared.

Euonos sits down on a stone.
"Behhhhhhhhhhh" said goat.
"Meh" said Euonos.

Euonos lights fire.
"Beh" said Goat.
"Meh" said Euonos.

A few Getai dropped their weapons,
More dropped their jaws.

Euonos kills Goat.
"..." said Goat.
"Meh" said Euonos.


Taking no notice of the thousands of empty stares
directed at him, Euonos skins the goat. Planting his Xyston into the
earth, he hangs the goatskin onto his lance. He then begins to roast
the goat upon the fire. The Getai starts to grow lethargic towards the spectacle.

Euonos then takes out a bottle of unwatered wine from within his cape. Prodding the
roast with his xiphos, he takes sips of the wine.

It is now, a curious and impetuous Getic infantry approached
the strategos with a javalin raised. The Hellenes held their breath.
Euonos ignores the barbaros.
The barbaros threw the javalin straight at his head.
Euonos simple tilted his head, evading the projectile by the skin of his teeth.
He then picks it up, and uses it to serve himself some finely roasted goat.

Enraged, the barbaros ran at the Strategos with his sika. "#$%^(&(*(*" he shouted.
Euonos swiftly stood up with his xiphos, and dispatched the barbaros by lopping off
his head. The Getai simply blinked as the strategos resumed his feast.

The Hellenes, Agrianians and Keltoi stood their ground. Anxious about the
welfare of their strategos, they dared not to break their already
thin and outflanked lines.

Stomach full of (unwatered) wine and goat, Euonos stood. The sun begins to set,
and most of the barbaroi are losing their interest. Euonos suprises all again by stripping.



Fully naked, saved for his helmet. Euonos begins to excercise on the spot.
The Keltoi watched with delight.
THe Hellenes facepalmed.
The Getai lose their interest and began to retreat.

With a great yelp of "ALL HAIL MAKEDONIA!!! VERGINA SUN
SHINES UPON ALL GAIA!!!" Euonos picks up his Aspis and
Xiphos. He charges, nakkid, towards the bored, retreating barbaroi.

Inspired by their naked fanatic of a Strategos, the Keltoi charged with
one great "RABOOOOOO!!!"
The others followed. The cavalry whipped their horses into action.

Surprised by the entire change of circumstances, the Getic retreat
turned into a total rout. Euonos, at the very fore of the wedge,
hacked and slashed through swaths of barbaroi.

By the time the sun sank in the west, the hill where Euonos' men
camped was littered in bodies, dismembered limbs and heads. Not
a single of Euonos' men perished.

A Heroic victory.

This was Euonos Argeads.