The College Tuition Bubble

[Major Robert Dump]

Large universities are massive, city-like entities with their very own power players and enormous workforce. They have their own culture, their own laws which can preclude even the Constitution, their own investment scams, their own fund raising machines, their own landscaping crews, their own police forces.

I predict Large Universities will eventually raise tuition so high that the only people who can afford it will be the very rich, or employees who agree to work as endentured laborers and have the university logo tatooed on their bodies in exchange for free tuition for their children. Universities will start to declare their own independence as the state gravy trains dry up, they will attempt to break away from the city and state as their own sovereign nation, open up smokeshops and casinos to fund their expansion into the securities and hedge fund markets, and will eventually go to war with each other in attempts to unsurpe power and gain more rich students. The wars will last ages, the blood of frat boys and hippies and that one ethnic girl who gets offended by everything will stain the streets, and eventually, one very large educational institution will emerge the victor and rename itself to something like University of the Universe. It will attempt to gain nuclear capabilities and challenge the federal government, until it eventually collapses upon itself because the all the theatre majors transmit AIDS and anal warts to frat boys during Natural Light-induced orgies, and the frat boys will in-turn transmit AIDS to the rest of the university, including the squirrels and the animal mascot. In 1000 years all that will be left of universities will be buried ruins, and future generations will have to learn of the university peoples rich history by deciphering cryptic messages and drawings from bathroom stall walls, such as wellessly foundatiun R jews! and hook em horns kappa phi woot

[lars573]

Large universities are massive, city-like entities with their very own power players and enormous workforce. They have their own culture, their own laws which can preclude even the Constitution, their own investment scams, their own fund raising machines, their own landscaping crews, their own police forces.

I predict Large Universities will eventually raise tuition so high that the only people who can afford it will be the very rich, or employees who agree to work as endentured laborers and have the university logo tatooed on their bodies in exchange for free tuition for their children. Universities will start to declare their own independence as the state gravy trains dry up, they will attempt to break away from the city and state as their own sovereign nation, open up smokeshops and casinos to fund their expansion into the securities and hedge fund markets, and will eventually go to war with each other in attempts to unsurpe power and gain more rich students. The wars will last ages, the blood of frat boys and hippies and that one ethnic girl who gets offended by everything will stain the streets, and eventually, one very large educational institution will emerge the victor and rename itself to something like University of the Universe. It will attempt to gain nuclear capabilities and challenge the federal government, until it eventually collapses upon itself because the all the theatre majors transmit AIDS and anal warts to frat boys during Natural Light-induced orgies, and the frat boys will in-turn transmit AIDS to the rest of the university, including the squirrels and the animal mascot. In 1000 years all that will be left of universities will be buried ruins, and future generations will have to learn of the university peoples rich history by deciphering cryptic messages and drawings from bathroom stall walls, such as wellessly foundatiun R jews! and hook em horns kappa phi woot

If you worked in Hollywood TV and movies would be 1000x better.