Minnesota Mafia: The Senate Scandal [Concluded]

[seireikhaan]

June 2, 2009

A certain Camel Lord wakes from his slumber. Though groggy, he clears his eyes and plops on his favorite reclining chair, before flipping on the morning news. As the typical hubbub is made over the economy, the Camel Lord brews himself a cup of coffee. Upon his return, as per usual, the topic had switched to local politics. A couple of talking heads were yammering to each other unintelligibly, when the main newsman interrupted, with BREAKING NEWS! A bit curious, the Camel Lord raised an eyebrow as he continued to sip his coffee.

The newsman shuffled his notes at his desk a bit nervously before clearing his throat for his BREAKING NEWS! announcement. "Ladies and gentlemen, we have breaking news here in studio 8, regarding to ongoing race for Minnesota's remaining senate position between Republican Norm Coleman and Democrat Al Franken. Following the Coleman camp's decision to push the race all the way to the State Supreme court, the court has issued the following judgement: there is to be a complete and total recount of every vote cast in the election." The news caster turned to the talking heads beside him and asked them what they thought of the decision, which yielded a continuation of the previous yammering which was as intelligible as group of the muppet show discussing how to get off a pirate ship.

The poor Camel Lord sank a few inches in his chair, as he pondered whether or not to move to his more sane neighbors directly south. "What a debacle..." he muttered to himself.

Meanwhile, on the west side of of Minneapolis, in a luxury suite....

"Congratulations, Mr. Coleman!" an eager intern applauded. "Now we have a chance to keep that idiot Franken from ruining this country! Isn't the grea-" The lad was cut off by an irritated Norm Coleman.

"We haven't won jack yet! We bought some time, but there's still a very good chance that we might lose." The intern's eyes fell a bit. "That said, you can be very, very useful to me." The young man's eyes opened wide. "I need you to go to the Target Center, where they're holding the ballots for recount. I need you to inflitrate the recounting group and do whatever it takes to make sure that I get more ballots than Franken. Got it?" The intern nodded his head vociferously. "Don't worry about ID, we've already got someone working on a fake one for you. You just need to make sure you don't do anything stupid to get yourself caught, alright? Just make sure I beat that loser Coleman!

Meanwhile, on the east side of Minneapolis, in an oddly similar luxury suite.....

"What a joke this is, Mr. Franken!" an irritated intern griped. "You had this election won fair and square. What kind of jerk is this Coleman any-" The intern was cut off by an angry Al Franken.

"Look, kid, stop your whining! You wanna help me out or what?" The intern nodded his head with vigor. 'Ok, I need you to go to the Target Center, where they're gonna do the recount. I need you to do whatever it takes to make sure that I beat Norm Coleman. You got this?" The intern nodded once more. "Ok, look, I've got guys already working on a fake ID to get you in to the recount. Just don't do anything too stupid to get yourself caught. Alright? Just make sure I win, no matter what!"


Three days later....

Once more, the Camel Lord drug himself up from bed, plopping himself on his comfortable recliner, and flipped on the morning news. Right now, they were discussing the weather, raining again.... However, before the weather forecast was finished, the main news caster interrupted once more with BREAKING NEWS! "Something sinister involving the senate scandal!" the news man declared. "Two members of the recount crew were found dead in the Target Center, leaving many thinking that one or both of the Senatorial camps might be up to no good to secure their election." The Camel Lord spit out his coffee. "You gotta be kidding me!

Meanwhile, on the east and west sides of Minneapolis, two angry, not-yet Senators are also watching the same broadcast. The two men utter in unison, " interns!"

Inside one of the Target Center offices:
A small group of volunteers looks visibly shakened as a tall, aged man stands up on a chair for a platform. "Ladies and gentleman! The recounting has to stop! We have killers amidst us, nobody got in or out last night! We have to banish whomever did this, so we can get back to our work."

"But who did it?" a woman asked.

"We'll have to decide that, as a group. We're here to serve Democracy, we must use Democracy to vanquish the killer amongst us! We each get one vote, and cast out whoever we think the killer is. Does every one agree?"

With two exeptions, the entire group offered an enthusiastic "YEAH!!"





Rules:

NO QUOTING PMS, NO QUOTING CHATLOGS, NO SCREENSHOTS, NO ALTERNATE ACCOUNTS, AND NO TRANSLATING PM'S

The dead cannot discuss anything about this game outside of the thread.

I do not allow Vote: No Lynch as an option. Period. You may abstain, however.

If you wish to take back a vote, you CANNOT do it by editing a previous post. I will not count it. Period. You must unvote:playerX in order to recant the previous vote. In order to vote for someone, you must do so in the usual Vote: khaan style. Votes must be bolded, for reference.

Suicides will only be allowed in the event of a person being very much unable to participate in the game. I do not allow suicides for any other reason.

No links to anything outside of this thread. Period. I don't care if it pertains to something completely irrelevant.

It would be very helpful for the sake of my sanity if player's kept a tally running.

Voting periods will be 24 hours, though I may occasionally extend it to 36 if necessary.

Any ties in voting will await someone to break it. First vote to either person who is tied will result in lynch, regardless of any posts after it.

WoK(Wrath of Khaan) will occur if a person does not vote 3 rounds in a row, or if they do not vote in 4 rounds in total. Please, please don't make me WoK you.



Roles:

1 Coleman Intern(mafioso)
1 Franken Intern (Mafioso)

Each intern will have one kill per night.

Member of recount commitee (townie)



Signups: 15/15

AskthePizzaGuy
Atheotes
A Very Super Market
Beskar
Caius
Captain Blackadder
Cultured Drizzt fan
Death is Yonder
GeneralHankerchief
Greyblades
Iskander
Navarro951
Pevergreen
Splitpersonality
Tiberius of the Drake

[atheotes]

IN.

[Cultured Drizzt fan]

I am in.

[Iskander 3.1]

Awesome. Way to not sound too partisan either, thumbs up to you. Count me in!

[Iskander 3.1]

Of course, since we'll all be Minnesotans, that means that everyone loses (sorry can't help it, I'm origionally from Wisco)

[A Very Super Market]

In.

[GeneralHankerchief]

Heh, in.

[Tratorix]

WoK(Wrath of Khaan) will occur if a person does not vote 3 rounds in a row, or if they do not vote in 4 rounds in total.

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

I'm in, by the way.

[Askthepizzaguy]

In like the grin above my chinny chin chin.

[Greyblades]

In.

[Beskar]

In.

[pevergreen]

In la.

[Death is yonder]

In!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

First time playing more than the recommended 2 games at once which is the benchmark for mental sanity, wonder how I'll cope

[Captain Blackadder]

In for the win

[Tiberius of the Drake]

total innage

[navarro951]

IN!

[Caius]

Sure. As long that involves killing camels like Camel Scene Investigation.

[seireikhaan]

All right, we've got 15 players, I've picked the mafia and am sending out their role PM's right now.

[Caius]

I do not have one

[Greyblades]

Ditto.
It's probably intentional though, seeing as he's only said he's giving out the mafia's role PM's.

[Cultured Drizzt fan]

Ahh... I like reading my role PM

[A Very Super Market]

This is more WIFOM than me voting for myself.

[Beskar]

I don't like geting no role pm's, it means I am worthless to the game. :(

[Splitpersonality]

In if there is room!

[seireikhaan]

In if there is room!

This is good, actually. Tratorix just informed me he will be unable to participate. You may replace him.

roles- only mafioso get role PM's.



EDIT: I will be starting the game NOW! We are starting with a night phase. I want orders in 24 hours. Mafioso, you may send in as detailed a writeup as you wish.

[Tratorix]

This is good, actually. Tratorix just informed me he will be unable to participate. You may replace him.

roles- only mafioso get role PM's.



EDIT: I will be starting the game NOW! We are starting with a night phase. I want orders in 24 hours. Mafioso, you may send in as detailed a writeup as you wish.

I'll make sure to forward split his role pm.

[Splitpersonality]

Thanks tratorix :P

[Iskander 3.1]

I don't like geting no role pm's, it means I am worthless to the game. :(

Fos: Beskar

[seireikhaan]

Night one

Navarro951 was troubled. Even though he was on the recount commitee, he lacked the ability to count. All this time, he had been flipping a coin, meaning that he had royally screwed the recount business.

"No matter", he finally said to himself, sitting in one of the many bland, sticky, chairs in the Target center. He had no political convictions, so the outcome would never matter with him. Satisfied with his justification, he flopped down to watch some of the more festive promotions that the two senators had planned.

The poor Democrats couldn't match up to the Republicans in sheer entertainment. As Navarro flipped between channels, he saw snippets of men riding Donkeys, like a scene out of Don Quijote. And on the ugliest one, was Al Franken, looking utterly disheartened at the debacle. And on the next channel, were the elephants.

Glorious, they were! Navarro was transfixed with their beauty. And as he sat there, he saw the majesty that was Norm Coleman.



At his command, the 14 of them began trumpeting, completely enveloping Navarro in a sense of utter glee. Somehow, the old, mono sound system he was using had managed to project their harmonic waves all around Navarro. It was at this moment when he felt the unmistakeable feeling of drywall and plaster in his hair.

Turning around, he saw nothing other than a large hole in the wall, which he did not remember being there. He also did not remember having an elephant in the room with him when he came in. Putting two and two together, he deduced that it was the elephant that caused the gaping hole. Pleased with himself, Navarro continued to watch Norm Coleman's parade.

But something was odd. One of the elephants was missing. There were only 13 of them this time, and it then it began to dawn on him. Or rather, the elephant began to step on him. Navarro died wondering how they managed to fit those little hats on the elephants. The elephant died wondering why the organizer wanted to have explosives planted on him. The other committee members wondered how in the hell could Navarro have enough body mass to completely cover a room in guts.

Only one knew about the elephant....



Splitpersonality yawned as he continued to skim through the seemingly endless numbers of ballots, his weary mind numb from the sheer repetitiveness of the matter at hand. His head dipped slightly onto his chest for a second, before he realized he was about to fall asleep on the job. Snapping his head up, he decided to to the restroom and have a very, very long urination. When he opened the restroom door, a man in a mask leaped out from the restroom, clubbing him over the head with a cudgel, knocking him out.

Splitpersonality's next moment of conciousness began with him feeling even groggier than when he woke up. He tried to speak, but found himself gagged and bound, unable to move either. He could feel something being wrapped around him, however. It felt rather like.... ducktape with confetti? He tried to struggle a bit to get out of the bindings, only to have a long, dirty looking needle thrust into his neck. The plunger thrust in, and a man quitely ushered "night night", before Splitersonality lost conciousness again.

Finally awaking from his quite comfortable nap, Splitpersonality noticed that he was back in the main chamber where the ballots were held, though he was still bound on the floor. Even more disturbing than this was the fact that he could only see through two holes poked in the front of a cardboard box that had been shoved onto his head. It really was quite uncomfortable, the air was beginning to get hot in this box. Suddenly, a vibrant scream rang out.

"OOOOOOH MY GAWD!!!" a younger woman screamed. 'IT'S A PINATA!" Tratorix raised an eyebrow inside his cardboard container. He couldn't see any pinata....

"Oof, this is a heavy one!" A man's voice rang out as Splitpersonality felt himself being lifted up with force. "Must be A LOT of candy in this one!"

"Wait, what are we going to use for bats?" The woman asked. "This is a basketball stadium."

"Oh, let's just grab some brooms from the janitor's closet!" A third person's voice chimed in. "Come on guys, we deserve a small break from all this counting, don't we?"

"YEAH!" The group rang out in chorus. Splitpersonality felt himself thrusted up onto a hook hanging from the ceiling. He tried to squirm, but found his limbs wouldn't move.

The group finally came back, brooms in hand. Another young woman remarked, "Man, that has gotta be the ugliest elephant pinata ever! Like, who would even want an elephant pinata anyways? Oh well, I WAAAAAAANT CAAAAAAAAAANDYY!!!" With a ferocity befitting a jungle tiger, the woman led the charge as the entire comitte began its brutal broom bludgeoning of the defenseless "elephant". Only when the group realized that the pancreas was not, in fact, made of Pez and that blood was not, in fact, hawaiian punch, did they stop the senseless assault....



Alive: 13/15

AskthePizzaGuy
Atheotes
A Very Super Market
Beskar
Caius
Captain Blackadder
Cultured Drizzt fan
Death is Yonder
GeneralHankerchief
Greyblades
Iskander
Pevergreen
Tiberius of the Drake

Dead: 2

Navarro951
Splitpersonality

Lynched: 0

WoK: 0


BEGIN DAY 1! PLEASE KEEP A RUNNING TALLY!
YOU HAVE 24 HOURS AS OF NOW!

[Splitpersonality]

WHelp... I believe my time in this game was very well spent. Good day all.



I died as I lived! Full of candy and blood.