Quote Originally Posted by pevergreen View Post
Bugger me, that'd be a bit of a yarn.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Sittin' at home last Sunday mornin' me mate Boomer rang, Said he was havin' a few people around for a barbie, Said he might cook a burra or two.

I said, "Sounds great, will Walla be there?"

He said "Yeah and Veggie might come too".

So I said to the wife "Do you wanna Go Anna?". She said "I'll go if Din goes".

So I said "What'll we do about Nulla?"

He said "Nulla boars me to tears, leave him at home."

We got to the party about two and walked straight out the kitchen to put some booze in the fridge. And you wouldn't believe it, there's Boomer's wife Warra sittin there tryin to Plait a puss!

Now, I don't like to speak Ill o' warra, but I was shocked, I mean how much can a Koala bear.

So I grabbed a beer, flashed me Wanger at her and went out and joined the party.

Pretty soon Ayers Rocks in and things really started jumpin'. This Indian girl, Marsu, turns up, dying to go to the toilet but she couldn't find it. I said to me mate Al, "Hey, where can Marsu pee Al?" He said "She can go outback with the fellas, she's probably seen a cockatoo".

Well just then Warra comes out of the kitchen with a few drinks for everybody. Fairdinkum, you've never seen a Coolabah maid. I grabbed a beer and said, "Thanks Warra - tah".

A couple of Queensland at the party, one smellin' pretty strongly of aftershave. One of 'em sat down next to me and I turned to him and I said, "Ya know mate, you reek o' Stockade!"

It was a really hot day; Oscar felt like a swim. He said to Ina, "Do you want a have a dip in the River Ina?" She said "I haven't got my cossie Osco".

Well Bo says, "Come in starkers, what'll they care!" Ina says "What, without so much as a thread bo?" Ah, perish tha thought! Has Eucum been in yet?

Well a few of the blokes decided to play some cricket. Boomer says "Why doesn't Wom bat?" "Yeah, and let Tenter field".

He said I should have a bowl but I was too out of it to play cricket so I suggested a game of cards. I said to Lyptus "Wanna game of Euca lyptus?" He said "There's no point mate, Dar wins everytime."


Well Bill said he'd like a smoke. Nobody knew where the dope was stashed. I said "I think Marie knows." But I was just spinning a bit of a yarn. Barry pulls a joint out of his pocket. Bill says "Great, Barry, a reefer, what is it mate?" "Noosa Heads of course. Me mate Adda lade 'em on me." And it was a great joint too, blew Mountains away and his Three Sisters.

Well I thought I'd roll one meself, I said "Chuck us the Tally Ho, bart". He said "They're out on the Lawn, Ceston, can you get em for us?" Burnie says "Its okay mate, she's apples, I'll get em for ya"

Just then Alice Springs into action, starts to pack Bill a bong. And you wouldn't believe it, the bongs broken. I said "Lord ou'!"

"Hay-man" somebody says "Will a Diggerie do?" I said "Hummmmm mummmm mummmmm mummmmm maybe it'll have ta."

I look in the corner and there's Bass sittin there, not getting into it, not getting out of it, I said "What, is Bass straight or somthin?" Boomer says "As a matter a fact mate, he's a cop" I said "Ya jokin mate, a cop, I'm getting outta here, lets Go Anna." She said "No way, I'm hangin round till Gum leaves. Besides, I dont wanna leave Jack arounda party on his own. Have you seen him? I think he's trying to crack on to woomba, he's already tried to Mount Isa And he'll definitely try to lead you Austra Liana!"
A work of consumate genius!

And there I was thinking Men at Work was the summit of Australiana. It'll take me weeks to figure out all of the above. I discover something new every time I read it.

'Veggie might' - I only figured that one out because 'Down Under' mentions 'a vegemite sandwich'.