Confession: I was with a woman when I was younger (this would be around the time of the Civil War), when she slapped me. Hard. I was completely surprised. I looked at her and asked, "What the **** was that about?"

She giggled and slapped me again. Hard. When she saw the look of shock and confusion on my face, she broke into full-out laughter.

Enough. I said, "Look, if you do that again I will hit you back."

She slapped my face again, just as hard as before. So I punched her in the gut.

She doubled over and began weeping, demanding to know what I had hit her. "Because you were ******* hitting me!" I said.

I probably should have just left, but it was in my own apartment, so I'm not sure where I would have gone.

There, now you know what a bad person the lemur is.