I agree that a lot of fun single-player stuff just doesn't work very well with the TW RPGs we run. From my own perspective, things that need to be stripped out of any mod that is used:

1) Supply system
2) Civil war system
3) Any other aspect that significantly lowers an avatar's loyalty or significantly increases the risk of an avatar defecting due to low loyalty
4) Province ownership 'retinue' - They look cool, but are a massive pain in the butt to keep track of. Since everyone ends up owning provinces, it really screws things up if these title retinues are on the wrong avatars. This makes a LOT of work for whoever has to adjust them. Better to remove them from the game and keep track of them in the Library - it is far easier and also doesn't risk the problem of having too many retinue on your avatar to hold all your province titles.

I also highly recommend using an add-on mod like we did in LOTR to enable recruitable bodyguards in every settlement and for only 1 florin each (with reduced upkeep and wages early on as well, so as not to break the bank).