Ugh, I am tired, but I shall try.

The issue is I tend to think in examples, or in metaphors.

Say we have to opposing sides, each with 5 settlements, and with my rules in place. So long as neither side does anything, no recruitment effectively takes place - what is gained is lost.

If side A where to obtain a settlement, then they would hold advantage, and gain 6 units, and lose only 4. Side B would gain 4 and lose 6. a losing side would suffer more, preventing unit farming, since this would utterly cripple a faction, and force combat before the one at a disadvantage falls completely under the mercy of it's opponent.