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Thread: Tell me a bed time story

  1. #1

    Default Tell me a bed time story

    I can't sleep tell me a story?

    (Insert your favorite bedtime stories as a kid)
    Tho' I've belted you an' flayed you,
    By the livin' Gawd that made you,
    You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!
    Quote Originally Posted by North Korea
    It is our military's traditional response to quell provocative actions with a merciless thunderbolt.

  2. #2
    Poll Smoker Senior Member CountArach's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell me a bed time story

    Rumpelstiltskin was always my favourite as a child.
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    By the side of a wood, in a country a long way off, ran a fine stream of water; and upon the stream there stood a mill. The miller's house was close by, and the miller, you must know, had a very beautiful daughter. She was, moreover, very shrewd and clever; and the miller was so proud of her, that he one day told the king of the land, who used to come and hunt in the wood, that his daughter could spin gold out of straw. Now this king was very fond of money; and when he heard the miller's boast his greediness was raised, and he sent for the girl to be brought before him. Then he led her to a chamber in his palace where there was a great heap of straw, and gave her a spinning-wheel, and said, 'All this must be spun into gold before morning, as you love your life.' It was in vain that the poor maiden said that it was only a silly boast of her father, for that she could do no such thing as spin straw into gold: the chamber door was locked, and she was left alone.

    She sat down in one corner of the room, and began to bewail her hard fate; when on a sudden the door opened, and a droll-looking little man hobbled in, and said, 'Good morrow to you, my good lass; what are you weeping for?' 'Alas!' said she, 'I must spin this straw into gold, and I know not how.' 'What will you give me,' said the hobgoblin, 'to do it for you?' 'My necklace,' replied the maiden. He took her at her word, and sat himself down to the wheel, and whistled and sang:

    'Round about, round about,
    Lo and behold!
    Reel away, reel away,
    Straw into gold!'

    And round about the wheel went merrily; the work was quickly done, and the straw was all spun into gold.

    When the king came and saw this, he was greatly astonished and pleased; but his heart grew still more greedy of gain, and he shut up the poor miller's daughter again with a fresh task. Then she knew not what to do, and sat down once more to weep; but the dwarf soon opened the door, and said, 'What will you give me to do your task?' 'The ring on my finger,' said she. So her little friend took the ring, and began to work at the wheel again, and whistled and sang:

    'Round about, round about,
    Lo and behold!
    Reel away, reel away,
    Straw into gold!'

    till, long before morning, all was done again.

    The king was greatly delighted to see all this glittering treasure; but still he had not enough: so he took the miller's daughter to a yet larger heap, and said, 'All this must be spun tonight; and if it is, you shall be my queen.' As soon as she was alone that dwarf came in, and said, 'What will you give me to spin gold for you this third time?' 'I have nothing left,' said she. 'Then say you will give me,' said the little man, 'the first little child that you may have when you are queen.' 'That may never be,' thought the miller's daughter: and as she knew no other way to get her task done, she said she would do what he asked. Round went the wheel again to the old song, and the manikin once more spun the heap into gold. The king came in the morning, and, finding all he wanted, was forced to keep his word; so he married the miller's daughter, and she really became queen.

    At the birth of her first little child she was very glad, and forgot the dwarf, and what she had said. But one day he came into her room, where she was sitting playing with her baby, and put her in mind of it. Then she grieved sorely at her misfortune, and said she would give him all the wealth of the kingdom if he would let her off, but in vain; till at last her tears softened him, and he said, 'I will give you three days' grace, and if during that time you tell me my name, you shall keep your child.'

    Now the queen lay awake all night, thinking of all the odd names that she had ever heard; and she sent messengers all over the land to find out new ones. The next day the little man came, and she began with TIMOTHY, ICHABOD, BENJAMIN, JEREMIAH, and all the names she could remember; but to all and each of them he said, 'Madam, that is not my name.'

    The second day she began with all the comical names she could hear of, BANDY-LEGS, HUNCHBACK, CROOK-SHANKS, and so on; but the little gentleman still said to every one of them, 'Madam, that is not my name.'

    The third day one of the messengers came back, and said, 'I have travelled two days without hearing of any other names; but yesterday, as I was climbing a high hill, among the trees of the forest where the fox and the hare bid each other good night, I saw a little hut; and before the hut burnt a fire; and round about the fire a funny little dwarf was dancing upon one leg, and singing:

    '"Merrily the feast I'll make.
    Today I'll brew, tomorrow bake;
    Merrily I'll dance and sing,
    For next day will a stranger bring.
    Little does my lady dream
    Rumpelstiltskin is my name!"'

    When the queen heard this she jumped for joy, and as soon as her little friend came she sat down upon her throne, and called all her court round to enjoy the fun; and the nurse stood by her side with the baby in her arms, as if it was quite ready to be given up. Then the little man began to chuckle at the thought of having the poor child, to take home with him to his hut in the woods; and he cried out, 'Now, lady, what is my name?' 'Is it JOHN?' asked she. 'No, madam!' 'Is it TOM?' 'No, madam!' 'Is it JEMMY?' 'It is not.' 'Can your name be RUMPELSTILTSKIN?' said the lady slyly. 'Some witch told you that!--some witch told you that!' cried the little man, and dashed his right foot in a rage so deep into the floor, that he was forced to lay hold of it with both hands to pull it out.

    Then he made the best of his way off, while the nurse laughed and the baby crowed; and all the court jeered at him for having had so much trouble for nothing, and said, 'We wish you a very good morning, and a merry feast, Mr RUMPELSTILTSKIN!'

    My dad didn't tell all of it as it is here, but I even loved the dumbed-down version.
    Last edited by CountArach; 07-28-2009 at 13:43.
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  3. #3

    Default Re: Tell me a bed time story

    I always thought that story was longer... Oh well.

    One of my favorites was Jack Londons "Call of the Wild"

    It was one of the few non world war 2 books we owned, so it was either, "The sea's were mild on the 6th of June 1944..." or "The dogs dug holes into little caverns deep in the snow to keep warm"
    Tho' I've belted you an' flayed you,
    By the livin' Gawd that made you,
    You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!
    Quote Originally Posted by North Korea
    It is our military's traditional response to quell provocative actions with a merciless thunderbolt.

  4. #4
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell me a bed time story

    Tea with some whiskey, honey, and some mint, and he slept happily everafter.

  5. #5
    Stranger in a strange land Moderator Hooahguy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell me a bed time story

    once there was a boy named Veho Nex. he was tired after playing 95 hours of Age of Conan. he went to sleep out of sheer boredom.
    the end.
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  6. #6

    Default Re: Tell me a bed time story

    Boy? I am a MAN! A big strong MAN! They shall call me Strong Man the Great and Mighty.

    An' Fragony, I aint much of a drinker, but a pot and a half of Coffee later, I don't need to sleep as much.
    Tho' I've belted you an' flayed you,
    By the livin' Gawd that made you,
    You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!
    Quote Originally Posted by North Korea
    It is our military's traditional response to quell provocative actions with a merciless thunderbolt.

  7. #7
    Ultimate Member tibilicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell me a bed time story

    Quote Originally Posted by Fragony View Post
    Tea with some whiskey, honey, and some mint, and he slept happily everafter.
    A Nice Ye Olde herbal remedy right there.


    "A lamb goes to the slaughter but a man, he knows when to walk away."

  8. #8
    Clan Clan InsaneApache's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell me a bed time story

    It was a dark and stormy night and the captain said to the b'sun, b'sun tell us a story and the b'sun said, It was a dark and stormy night and the captain said to the b'sun, b'sun tell us a story and the b'sun said, It was a dark and stormy night and the captain said to the b'sun, b'sun tell us a story and the b'sun said, It was a dark and stormy night and the captain said to the b'sun, b'sun tell us a story and the b'sun said, It was a dark and stormy night and the captain said to the b'sun, b'sun tell us a story and the b'sun said, It was a dark and stormy night and the captain said to the b'sun, b'sun tell us a story and the b'sun said, It was a dark and stormy night and the captain said to the b'sun, b'sun tell us a story......

    You'll drop off in no time.
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  9. #9
    Kanto Kanrei Member Marshal Murat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell me a bed time story

    My favorite was the one about Hitler, and how we stopped the Holocaust by talking to him and convincing him that genocide was bad.
    end sarcasm


    Seriously, my favorite was the Hobbit by Tolkein.
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    Have you just been dumped?

    I ask because it's usually something like that which causes outbursts like this, needless to say I dissagree completely.

  10. #10
    Probably Drunk Member Reverend Joe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell me a bed time story

    You want a bedtime story? How about claymation Mark Twain?

  11. #11
    Senior Member Senior Member naut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell me a bed time story

    My mum read me the Chronicles of Narnia when I was a kid. I remember getting really sad when she got to the end of the last book.
    #Hillary4prism

    BD:TW

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  12. #12

    Default Re: Tell me a bed time story

    Quote Originally Posted by Reverend Joe View Post
    You want a bedtime story? How about claymation Mark Twain?
    this si going to give me nightmares...
    Tho' I've belted you an' flayed you,
    By the livin' Gawd that made you,
    You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!
    Quote Originally Posted by North Korea
    It is our military's traditional response to quell provocative actions with a merciless thunderbolt.

  13. #13
    vrijbuiter Senior Member Rob The Bastard's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell me a bed time story

    "Guess how much I love you"
    by Sam McBratney
    Illustrated by Anita Jeram.


    Little Nutbrown Hare, who was going to bed,
    held on tight to Big Nutbrown Hare's very long ears.

    He wanted to be sure that Big Nutbrown Hare was listening.
    "Guess how much I love you?" he asked.
    Oh, I don't think I could guess that" said Big Nutbrown Hare.

    "This much," said Little Nutbrown Hare, stretching his arms as far as they could go.
    Big Nut brown Hare had even longer arms.
    "But I love YOU this much" he said.
    Hmm, that is a lot, thought Little Nutbrown Hare.

    "I love you as high as I can reach," said Little Nutbrown Hare.
    " I love you as high as I can reach" said Big Nutbrown Hare.
    That is quite high, thought Little Nutbrown Hare.
    I wish I had arms like that.

    Then Little Nutbrown Hare had a good idea.
    He tumbled upsidedown and reached up the tree trunk with his feet.
    "I love you all the way up to my toes!" he said.
    "And I love you all the way up to your toes" said Big Nutbrown Hare, swinging him up over his head.

    " I love you as high as I can HOP!" laughed Little Nutbrown Hare, bouncing up and down.
    "But I love you as high as I can hop," smiled Big Nutbrown Hare- and he bounced so high that his ears touched the branches above.
    Thats good hopping thought Little Nutbrown hare. I wish I could hop like that.

    "I love you all the way down the lane as far as the river" cried Little Nutbrown Hare.
    "I love you across the river and over the hills," said Big Nutbrown Hare.

    Thats very far, thought Little Nutbrown Hare.
    He was almost too sleepy to think any more.
    Then he looked beyond the thorn bushes, out into the big dark night.
    Nothing could be further away than the sky...

    "I love you right up to the moon," he said, and closed his eyes.
    " Oh, that's far," said Big Nutbrown Hare.
    " That is very, very far."
    Big Nutbrown Hare settled Little Nutbrown Hae into his bed of leaves.
    He leaned over and kissed him good night.

    Then he lay down close by and whispered with a smile,
    " I love you right up to the moon - and back".


    One of the ones that I read to my children (5 years and 3 years)

    Bring Back Buck

  14. #14
    Toh-GAH-koo-reh Member Togakure's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell me a bed time story

    In addition to fairy tales by the Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Anderson, my brother and I were partial to Dr. Seuss, Where the Wild Things Are, Harold and the Purple Crayon, etc..
    Be intent on loyalty
    While others aspire to perform meritorious services
    Concentrate on purity of intent
    While those around you are beset by egoism


    misc kanryodo

  15. #15
    Enlightened Despot Member Vladimir's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell me a bed time story

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Grandfather, tell my a story!
    Alright, go and get your storybook.
    No, no, not one of those, a real story!
    A real story?
    Yes, tell me about when you were a boy.
    Well, then, I shall have to take you back with me,
    A long way in time...

    It was my thirteenth year on a cold winters
    Day, as I walked through the enchanted
    Forest, I heard the sound of horses, and men
    At arms, I felt compelled to walk on and
    Find the place of these sounds, and when
    The forest did clear I was standing on a
    Hill before me the armies of the worlds
    Standing, waiting. I thought to myself, for
    Whom or for what are they waiting?
    Suddenly a gust of wind came up from the
    North, there appeared a lone rider, holding
    A sword of steel, then from the south came
    Another, bearing a battle ax, from the east
    Came a third holding a spiked club, and
    Finally from the west, a rider who weilded
    A great hammer of war. with them came
    Their soldiers of death, followed by an
    Army of immortals. they were few in number
    But the look in their eyes told all who
    Beheld them that they would leave this day
    Only in victory or death. and there was a
    Great silence...
    My heart began to pound, storm clouds
    Filled the sky with darkness, rain came, and
    The four winds blew with such anger that i
    Held fast to a tree. I watched the four
    Riders raise their weapons into the air.
    Without warning, screaming their war cry
    They led the attack, down to the battle they
    Rode, they met the armies of the world with
    A mighty clash! I could feel the ground
    Shake, the earth drank much blood that
    Day. each of the four, was unto himself,a
    Whirlwind of doom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    When the smoke did clear, many thousands
    Were dead. there was much blood and gore.
    Their bodies lay broken and scattered
    Across the battlefield like brown leaves
    Blown by the wind. and I saw the four ride
    Together to the top of the hill, while below
    Them the soldiers of death assembled, all
    Those who would now swear allegiance
    To them.

    And the four spoke the words of the
    Warriors prayer.

    Gods of war I call you, my sword
    Is by my side.
    I seek a life of honor, free from
    All false pride.
    I will crack the whip with a bold
    Mighty hail.
    Cover me with death if I should
    Ever fail.
    Glory, majesty, unity
    Hail, hail, hail.

    And as I stood and looked on, I heard the
    Armies of the world hail them without
    End, and their voices of victory carried
    Long and far throughout the land!

    Well, thats it, did you like the story?
    Yeah, it was great!
    Oh good, Im glad. now off to bed with you.
    Grandfather?
    Yes?
    Who were those four men?
    Who were they?
    They were the metal kings!!!!!!!!!!!!


    The screams put me right to sleep.


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    Ik hou van ferme grieten en dikke pinten
    Down with dried flowers!
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



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