I went to Church!
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I have been to church. Unfortunately, the occasion was not a joyous one. My dear auntie had passed away, at too young an age. For private reasons, she had requested a traditional Catholic funeral. Save for a handful, none of my (her) relatives under seventy are religious. Neither was she. On the contrary. A libertine, a progressive, a business woman with her own high-tech firm. Did she have a conversion in the final hour? Did she long for the tradition? The consolation of eternal life?
I am an atheist, and a fiery anti-clericalist to boot. I am also a baptized Catholic. The choice whether to partake in the rite was respectfully left up to individual attendees. I partook in the rite.
The mass was beautiful, very traditional. I must hand it to the Catholics: they’ve got style. Incense, a choir lamenting the deceased, a procession to the graveyard. The tradition of it all had a comforting effect. One felt part of something enduring. Life and death were made less absolute. Death becomes a rite of passage, the soul of the departed moves on. Simultaneously, the community congregates, comes together, celebrates the continuity of the line. Those that have come before, and those that will come after, are made part of a single whole.
Beautiful day too. Great setting: deep down south, in a small village. Half my family is from there, many still live there. A place where time has stood still, where life has a different pace. The whole extended family was together, everybody dressed in black, looking stunningly beautiful. (To say I have a good-looking family would be an understatement) An old country church – still a centre of life for the community. Great banquet afterwards. Wine, bread, sun.
There is something to be said for old ways. For both 'the province' and for church. They are socially suffocating, intellectually stunting. I would wither away. Yet, there are undeniable qualities: community spirit, warmth, a sense of belonging.
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One can love something that one loathes - that is one thing I discovered. For all the melancholic appreciation I feel for them, for all my admittance of enviable qualities, I know both Catholicism and the province to be full of hypocrisy, of petty feuds, of narrow-mindedness.
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