Quote Originally Posted by Beskar View Post
You was arrested in Times Square dressed in nothing but a thong?!
Long story...

Earlier that afternoon, I was sunbathing in Central Park. Wearing my Papua penis thingy. Then these two girls came up to me. One was blond, the other had red hair. Which looked stunning in the NY sunset. They commented on my book by Camus that I was reading, l’Étranger. It turned out the blond girl was studying French literature at Princeton. The redhead was her friend from Trois-Rivières, a city in Québec. Such good fortune! It always pays to pretend to read interesting books when trying to score chicks.

Anyway, long story short. They were really into me, so I invited them over for dinner. We took a cab to Fifth Avenue. With hindsight, I remember the taxi-driver looking at me funny. But he was a recent Pakistan immigrant, so he probably thought this was normal. And hey, it was NY, so lord knows this was just another load of passangers for him. He must've seen worse on a daily base.

He dropped us off at this great restaurant that I picked out for my girls. I ate there the night before, it served real authentic American food, delicious. What was it called again? Ah yes, Wendy's. Probably the name of the chef cook. Odd that they have female chefs in America.

Darn though, I wasn't allowed in. Now you see, it was one of those nice Indian summers they have over there, so I didn't pack a whole lot of clothes. I went up in my hotel room, and changed to my urban casual wear: a gold coloured thong, with dollar sign print. That I had left over from when I was working in this strip club on the Boulevard de Clichy, in the seedy area around the Moulin Rouge.

When I got down, the driver said the girls had left already. Then I received a text message from them. (No, I won't say where I kept my phone) They already went up to their appartment near Times Square, to prepare the jacuzzi for me. The message concluded: 'Hurry up, Cowboy!'.

So I ran over there. Halfway, I met this huge Texan from San Antonio. At least 246lbs. I wrestled him and managed to take his cowboy hat and boots. Then I proceed to Times Square. As I was waiting for the traffic lights, a group of Japanese women started cheering. I danced and paraded around for them a bit. A big succes! Soon, tens, hundreds of women stood in a large circle around me. All shouting 'Go Naked Cowboy!' I danced, received my tips, gave a little private performance for this elder woman walking her poodle 'fluffy', which smelled of sweet perfume, and his hair cut to resemble a little Shetland Pony. She was waving a hundred dollar bill, so I wanted to do give her a 'special' performance. I walked to the middle of Times Square, climbed onto this van that was stuck in the traffic jam I created, and started to *censored* when suddenly I smelled the distinct smell of donuts behind me....