Puberty at 13, sex at 18?

[Kadagar_AV]

This is something I have wondered about lately...

What drives us to set a age-limitation on sex?

I mean, I would understand if the law was against sex with people before puberty, as that would in fact hurt them. I then could of course understand a law against non-consensual sex.

However, if a 15 year old girl wants to have sex with her boyfriend, why shouldnt she?

In Sweden the age limit is 15, however, if the boyfriend is also young it wont go to court if she is 13 or 14...



My question, I assume, is why do we need rules to regulate post-puberty consensual sex?

[Beskar]

Mental Maturity and age of accepting responsibilities. It is rather silly having a drinking age at 18 but having a sex age limit lower as sexual relations require far more responsibility for behaviour and using condoms.

It used to be the rule of no sex before marriage as well.

[Kadagar_AV]

In austria the age for both sex and drinking is 16...

still, the hot girls and boys are no longer virgins or at 14 or 15...

[Beskar]

The thing is, what I hate about these legalities, is my opinion is "They have sex when the time is right", so my opinion of let's say the UK laws where it is 16 is, people see 16 at the time to have sex, if not before, when they are obviously not ready.

So legally speaking, an age where is it isn't considered abuse is right, however, it doesn't mean people at that age should just go and have orgies.

[Kadagar_AV]

Very good point beskar!

I also noticed how a "lawful" age pressured girls into having sex, rather than protected girls not ready.

EDIT: this goes for boys too...

[pevergreen]

Legal age here is 16.

Drinking 18.

Drinking normally starts at 13-14, sex at 14-15.

But yes, it should be enforced etc.

I know a lot of people that havent had sex though, but hey. If they are smart enough they wait.

[Fragony]

This right here. Just because a 13-14 year old girl might be capable of having sex and thinking she's in love and all that does not mean she's of sound enough mind to make the right decisions. Until you're an adult, and have lived and worked in the real world and dealt with real-world responsibilities, you just don't have the mental background needed to be capable of these decisions. Not to say that's always true, but it's true enough.

Just make sure they use protection, what responsibility do they have? Go to school, do you best, enjoy the rest no?

[HoreTore]

This right here. Just because a 13-14 year old girl might be capable of having sex and thinking she's in love and all that does not mean she's of sound enough mind to make the right decisions. Until you're an adult, and have lived and worked in the real world and dealt with real-world responsibilities, you just don't have the mental background needed to be capable of these decisions. Not to say that's always true, but it's true enough.

Like they said in American Pie:

It's not a space shuttle launch. It's just sex.

If both kids are roughly the same age, I have no problems. At all. Sex isn't dangerous or forbidden, sex is positive and good.

[HoreTore]

Yeah, it's all fun and games 'till someone gets pregnant.

Lots of teenagers who have sex are not stupid, and use protection, and it's all well and good. Honestly as long as the education regarding protection and STDs are in place, minors having sex with minors is hardly a problem.

The problem is with young'uns (13, 14, 15, whatever) having sex with adults. This is sheer irresponsibility on part of the adult, because he/she should know, with absolutely no uncertainty, that the teenager in question is hardly on the same mental wavelength.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

So, I'm the only one who thinks there might be an age when parents should protect their children from making difficult decisions?

[HoreTore]

So, I'm the only one who thinks there might be an age when parents should protect their children from making difficult decisions?

Sounds like it.

[Rhyfelwyr]

So, I'm the only one who thinks there might be an age when parents should protect their children from making difficult decisions?

It's difficult to make a meaningful cut off point though. The examples I gave in my earlier post were to show that you can't really pin an age on these sorts of things, some people will just mature quicker than others.

[Fragony]

Yeah, it's all fun and games 'till someone gets pregnant.

They don't get pregnant, we teach how to strap on rubber at a very early age and teenage pregnancy/teenage abortions are virtually non-existant. Might seem odd to you to teach 12 year olds stuff like that but it's the result that counts.

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/l...cle5208865.ece

Author got a little ahead of himself but in general it sums it up.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

I'm sorry to say but...you don't. It does not matter if legally you do have the power, it is a hollow authority because even the strictest parents when it comes to sex can't stop the teenager sneaking out or in for a fun time.

Don't get me wrong, it sucks for the parent, but realistically the parent has no ability to stop their teenager unless they bar the windows and lock the door every night. The only reasonable way for a good parent to act is educate, educate, educate their teenager and explain to them why they should not have it, going over all the dangers, what to do if they decide to have it and not to be afraid to come for help or advice.

You can't completely stop them, but you can, and should, make it more difficult and punish them for sneaking out. Merely "Educate, Educate, Educate" doesn't work. You also have to instill a moral compass that encourages them to make careful choices.

So.

I was one of them criminals(or sex offender?) who had sex before I turned 16.

Please, do explain what my exact punishment would be in your theocracy. And what the punishment would be for the woman I had sex with. She was roughly a month younger than me IIRC.

None, if you read my post. Also, this has nothing to do with theocracy - not in the way you understand it, certainly.

On the other hand, if I felt you have manipulated and taken advantage of my daughter you'd have things other than the law to worry about.

[HoreTore]

None, if you read my post. Also, this has nothing to do with theocracy - not in the way you understand it, certainly.

On the other hand, if I felt you have manipulated and taken advantage of my daughter you'd have things other than the law to worry about.

So....

You support minors having sex with each other then? What's all the fuzz about then?

In any case, I think educating people on this topic is overrated, the education system practically encourages us to have sex these days, and its left a clear legacy with teenage pregnancies here in the UK.

Alright, let's say that's true. With this in mind, please explain the situation in the Netherlands.

Sex should be encouraged. It's healthy and fun, what's not to like? We shouldn't be saying "don't have sex, but if you do, wear a condom", that's the wrong kind of education. The correct education is "feel free to have sex, and use a condom".

[Fragony]

You can't completely stop them, but you can, and should, make it more difficult and punish them for sneaking out.

If you don't want them sneaking out make sure they don't have to, what do you prefer, some sleazy alley or the back of a car or the comfort and safety of their own bedrooms.

[a completely inoffensive name]

You can't completely stop them, but you can, and should, make it more difficult and punish them for sneaking out. Merely "Educate, Educate, Educate" doesn't work. You also have to instill a moral compass that encourages them to make careful choices.

If you have not instilled a moral compass in your child by 14, 15, 16 you have made some mistakes as a parent. Really, if you have a 14 year old child with no sense of right and wrong or common sense something has gone awry along the way.

[Rhyfelwyr]

I do not like the idea of parents having too much power over their children once they get into the teenage years.

In any case, I think educating people on this topic is overrated, the education system practically encourages us to have sex these days, and its left a clear legacy with teenage pregnancies here in the UK. As for me, my parents never said a word to me about it (thank the Lord) and guess what I never got anyone pregnant.

Parents should try to be a healthy influence for their children, but not control them. When I have children, I will just say, you can get married if you want when you turn 16, if not you know I don't approve of anything, but it's up to you. Hopefully I will raise them well so they will just be sensible (a solution often overlooked these days). But if they ever want an abortion then they're out my house.

[AlexanderSextus]

When i have a kid/kids, i'm gonna let them have sex. i'm not gonna punish them for it.

If its a boy, i'm gonna buy him condoms and tell him that if he doesnt use them and gets a chick knocked up, i'm gonna KICK HIS ASS. (i would pay for the abortion afterwards tho) i would also tell him he definately doesn't wanna get an STD or AIDS and its best for him to use them.


If its a girl, i'm gonna buy her the NuvaRing and condoms and tell her how they work.

In both cases i will also waive the condom rule upon verification that neither party has STDs, and after said verification i will buy them birth control pills/patch/NuvaRing, and just let them go at it with no negative consequences.

It'll probably make them much happier teens and we will probably have much less fights.

IMO sex is a good thing.