- Never near Argos -

[Molinaargh]

Good one. I had been thinking of creating historical documents and telling the story through the interpretation of those.

A few things you might want to consider:

1) It looks like you had left the "M___ G______"s and so on to be filled in later on, but you forgot to do it. I've done this before. (You'll probably have noticed and fixed this by the time I reply).

2) Writing after playing has the disadvantage of no screenshots, but you have one big advantage: you know what happens. Instead of writing about the happenings as they come, which may lead to writing about a sequence of unrelated events, you can write with a direction. Make use of this advantage.

3) Good job with creating content other than screenshots, and by that I mean the battle map. Keep that up.

4) Characters. Things don't happen - people make things happen. Right now you have characters, such as Pyrrhos, being dragged by the flow of events. Why not have Pyrrhos write something himself, or have a roman document that points out mistakes and flaws in Pyrrhos's personality simply because the writer of that document hated him?

5) Explore your format to the maximum. You have a historian trying to figure out the past, but he doesn't seem intrigued by it, so why should the reader? The historian should be looking at the historical scenario and asking himself "how the hell did Pyrrhos manage to do this? I need to take a look at these documents and find out how on earth this unexpected thing happened". Not only that, but he could also be wrong - and the reader would be super pissed if he saw the historian make a clearly wrong interpretation (and by super pissed I mean the reader would continue reading like crazy, thinking "when is he going to see what I see already! It's so obvious, Mr. Historian!). Of course the historian also has the capacity of coming up with awesome insights when the reader is, together with the historian, trying to figure out the mysteries of history.

These are probably uncalled for. That is because you have a solid AAR as is. These are just suggestions and I don't even expect (or want) you to use them exactly how I describe them. Hopefully they will spark some ideas to make your AAR even better. Keep up the good work!

[Mediolanicus]

Good one. I had been thinking of creating historical documents and telling the story through the interpretation of those.

A few things you might want to consider:

1) It looks like you had left the "M___ G______"s and so on to be filled in later on, but you forgot to do it. I've done this before. (You'll probably have noticed and fixed this by the time I reply).

2) Writing after playing has the disadvantage of no screenshots, but you have one big advantage: you know what happens. Instead of writing about the happenings as they come, which may lead to writing about a sequence of unrelated events, you can write with a direction. Make use of this advantage.

3) Good job with creating content other than screenshots, and by that I mean the battle map. Keep that up.

4) Characters. Things don't happen - people make things happen. Right now you have characters, such as Pyrrhos, being dragged by the flow of events. Why not have Pyrrhos write something himself, or have a roman document that points out mistakes and flaws in Pyrrhos's personality simply because the writer of that document hated him?

5) Explore your format to the maximum. You have a historian trying to figure out the past, but he doesn't seem intrigued by it, so why should the reader? The historian should be looking at the historical scenario and asking himself "how the hell did Pyrrhos manage to do this? I need to take a look at these documents and find out how on earth this unexpected thing happened". Not only that, but he could also be wrong - and the reader would be super pissed if he saw the historian make a clearly wrong interpretation (and by super pissed I mean the reader would continue reading like crazy, thinking "when is he going to see what I see already! It's so obvious, Mr. Historian!). Of course the historian also has the capacity of coming up with awesome insights when the reader is, together with the historian, trying to figure out the mysteries of history.

These are probably uncalled for. That is because you have a solid AAR as is. These are just suggestions and I don't even expect (or want) you to use them exactly how I describe them. Hopefully they will spark some ideas to make your AAR even better. Keep up the good work!

Thank you for your comments, Molinaargh. I was one of those lurkers watching your AAR's. I like your style, much more personal than my "reporting" style.

1) No, those M__ G_____'s are meant to be that way. Just the way E.A.Poe does in some of his works.

2) My advantage is limited as I have not proceeded far in my campaign, so I will have caught up with the events very quickly.

3) Thank you, I'm glad you like those.

4) That is a very good idea! Thanks again. I will think of that.

5) This is something I very much would like to do, but I'm afraid I miss the time to go deeply into my "historian" character. Right now, I am indeed using him as some sort of all knowing narrator. I do have some developments in my campaign where I could make this work.

[the man with no name]

I like it so far, keep it up.