I think something is deeply wrong with me

[Prussian to the Iron]

I had this dream last night where this little girl had a mans pistol pointed at her head, being held hostage. I snuck into the house through an open backdoor, and bear-hugged the man, trying to restrain him. I on his back, we ended up outside, where he shot me with his pistol in my neck. On the ground, with a sharp pain but almost no detriment to anything else, I continually told the people now standing in front of me to "Kill him! Kill him!". When I asked why they weren't moving, they pointed to my 9 year-old brother and a similar sized child, who were beating something a few feet into the woods. I moved up to it, and saw the mans barely alive body. Furious, I grabbed a log and repeatedly bashed his face and chest with great joy until his body was barely identifiable with a human. Later, after his flesh and organs were decayed and all that was left were bones, I fond the bones, smashing out some of the skulls teeth with my shoe, and then talked to it, telling it that nobody cared he had died, nobody ever loved him, etc. Then that night, I burned his bones until they were nothing but ash.

Now every time I think about that horrible bashed in face, I am horrified of the sight, ashamed that I had joy in doing such a thing, and sadness that I killed another human being, even if it was in this dream. Every time I think about that face, I have crying fits. Over the last hour I've been awake, I've spent about 45 minutes of it crying.

Is there something wrong with me?

[Fragony]

Dreams can be extremely strange, but yeah I would say that there is something wrong with you, they shouldn't 'hang on'. Might want to talk to someone if it bothers you.

[pevergreen]

Go distract yourself and you'll soon move on.

[/serious part of the post]

DUDE UR SCREWD UP. GET SUM MEDS OR SUMTIN YO.

[Prussian to the Iron]

Dreams can be extremely strange, but yeah I would say that there is something wrong with you, they shouldn't 'hang on'. Might want to talk to someone if it bothers you.

every time I try to talk to someone, I just can't get it out right, and then I think of the face and start crying again.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

I had this dream last night where this little girl had a mans pistol pointed at her head, being held hostage. I snuck into the house through an open backdoor, and bear-hugged the man, trying to restrain him. I on his back, we ended up outside, where he shot me with his pistol in my neck. On the ground, with a sharp pain but almost no detriment to anything else, I continually told the people now standing in front of me to "Kill him! Kill him!". When I asked why they weren't moving, they pointed to my 9 year-old brother and a similar sized child, who were beating something a few feet into the woods. I moved up to it, and saw the mans barely alive body. Furious, I grabbed a log and repeatedly bashed his face and chest with great joy until his body was barely identifiable with a human. Later, after his flesh and organs were decayed and all that was left were bones, I fond the bones, smashing out some of the skulls teeth with my shoe, and then talked to it, telling it that nobody cared he had died, nobody ever loved him, etc. Then that night, I burned his bones until they were nothing but ash.

Now every time I think about that horrible bashed in face, I am horrified of the sight, ashamed that I had joy in doing such a thing, and sadness that I killed another human being, even if it was in this dream. Every time I think about that face, I have crying fits. Over the last hour I've been awake, I've spent about 45 minutes of it crying.

Is there something wrong with me?

Nope, not really. If you have a very strong moral streak, are unusually passionate, this sort of thing is percetly normal. Basically, you're saying that in the dream you succumbed to fury at what you saw at an evil act, now you're awake and calm, you can see the horror of your own actions and are appalled.

You seem perfectly normal, sane and ballanced. You may be a little highly strung. If it continues to bother you, you might want to talk to someone about it, by which I mean a friend. Older male for preference. I wouldn't worry though, unless it's still bothering you in a couple of weeks.

Dreams can be extremely strange, but yeah I would say that there is something wrong with you, they shouldn't 'hang on'. Might want to talk to someone if it bothers you.

Yeah, give the kid a complex, Frag. It was last night, for Pete's sake.

[Fragony]

every time I try to talk to someone, I just can't get it out right, and then I think of the face and start crying again.

Talk to a professional, in the end this is a gaming forum, you might not get the best advice. Imho if you thing something is wrong it's impossible something isn't wrong, if all is good nothing bothers you.

[taka]

There's two things I guess:

1. Did you recently watch anything on TV or in the cinema?

Dreams are very strange things, and what we watch and do affect us greatly. I still remember once after watching resident evil movie (or playing the game, can't quite remember) that i had a dream where i was going to school and then all hell broke loose with zombies and everything.

So just wanna say that if you did watch do something which resulted in the dream, then it's fine, just give it some time to pass.

2. Do you know the person that you "killed" in your dream?

As I said above, it could be that you know this person and he's done something to you that hurt you (mentally or physically). Subconciously you will hate him and therefore in your dream you might want to harm the person. In this case, you probably should tell someone about it. Sometimes that's all that's needed - getting it off your chest and you will be fine. Talking to someone you don't know actually works surprisingly very well.

If it does further affect you, maybe you would like to try some help.

[Prussian to the Iron]

I watched 300 last night, but I've watched that twice this week on TV, plus watching LOTR 1 and 2 this week. but when I used to play Gears of War or CoD5 I never get this kind of thing.

and no, I did not know the person, at least not to my current knowledge. if it was someone I knew, I wouldn't know; I don't really recall his normal face, but if I had to choose someone I think it would be that guy from that discovery channel show about breaking into peoples houses and giving them security systems.

[Beefy187]

If I read that right, the man you killed was holding this girl hostage and you killed that man for it. Somewhat heroic.

In Japan that would be called "Chuni byou" (Grade eighter disease) where you dream your self being an hero or someone important in day dreaming or in dreams.

Its an important process to recognize your importantness and mightiness, and while those Chuni people gets mocked for it, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Its just to keep the balance of self esteem.

If there is something you should worry, that would be the method of you saving the girl. Repeatedly bashing the man where as normal Chuni kids (and my self) choose something innocent like "ultimate fire storm" or "final lightning"... Or Katana. That shows you are some what influenced by violent ways and while you know its morally wrong, deep inside your mind you want to do it.

I also advice you to talk to the professionals just to make sure if this is trivial or something you should seriously worry about especially if the dream keeps recurring or if you can't forget about it as the impression it made on you was so big.

I had a friend who kept on watching dreams about getting chased by an giant shadow. One version of that dream was him trying to get pass it by hiding in the toilet. Shadow came in and went passed the toilet as it shouted out "Rambo IV sucks"

Boarders ....

[KukriKhan]

A "Shrink" might have some fun with the symbolism of your dream, but: having a vivid, violent dream is not that unusual, especially in the teen years when we are trying to figure out who we are.

I wouldn't worry until you had the same dream 4 or 5 nights running, and then I still wouldn't worry too much; your mind is likely trying to work out a problem that your awake-self can't figure out (and you have a tendency to take things to an extreme). If it's still bugging you this time next week, maybe seek counsel.

[Monk]

I had a dream two weeks ago that Sasquatch was knocking on my window, and then ran and hid around the corner when i went to check the noise. He seemed to be giggling like a schoolgirl, no less. Dreams are fun.

A "Shrink" might have some fun with the symbolism of your dream, but: having a vivid, violent dream is not that unusual, especially in the teen years when we are trying to figure out who we are.

I wouldn't worry until you had the same dream 4 or 5 nights running, and then I still wouldn't worry too much; your mind is likely trying to work out a problem that your awake-self can't figure out (and you have a tendency to take things to an extreme). If it's still bugging you this time next week, maybe seek counsel.

Sound advice for any Orgah. When in doubt, listen to Kukri.

[Prussian to the Iron]

If I read that right, the man you killed was holding this girl hostage and you killed that man for it. Somewhat heroic.

In Japan that would be called "Chuni byou" (Grade eighter disease) where you dream your self being an hero or someone important in day dreaming or in dreams.

Its an important process to recognize your importantness and mightiness, and while those Chuni people gets mocked for it, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Its just to keep the balance of self esteem.

If there is something you should worry, that would be the method of you saving the girl. Repeatedly bashing the man where as normal Chuni kids (and my self) choose something innocent like "ultimate fire storm" or "final lightning"... Or Katana. That shows you are some what influenced by violent ways and while you know its morally wrong, deep inside your mind you want to do it.

I also advice you to talk to the professionals just to make sure if this is trivial or something you should seriously worry about especially if the dream keeps recurring or if you can't forget about it as the impression it made on you was so big.

I had a friend who kept on watching dreams about getting chased by an giant shadow. One version of that dream was him trying to get pass it by hiding in the toilet. Shadow came in and went passed the toilet as it shouted out "Rambo IV sucks"

Boarders ....

no, it wasnt killing him for threatening a little girl, it was the fact that he had shot me. it was less of a heroic thing and more of a darth vader thing.

[Rhyfelwyr]

Completely normal, I've had quite a few similar dreams, I wrote down the last one in the dreams thread. In that one, I killed lots of Nazis but then I had to get executed.

Only possible difference I can see is that in your dream the killing was pretty personal, bashing in the face and what not. I'm a cold-hearted killer in my dreams, probably because the violence involved is more between Splinter Cell stealth stuff to big gunfights, I've never bludgeoned someone to death like in your dream.

[Mooks]

I have dreams about killing people all the time, sometimes various people (almost always in a war-like situation). Should be normal....unless I too need clinical help.

[Husar]

If someone tried to shoot me I'd also become brutal, nothing wrong there.

[Ironside]

Going amateur symbol interpretation mode here. Violence in dreams are quite normal, but your strong awoken reaction is probably something more.

Do you normally have lingering feelings from or due to a dream?

I'm probably completely off, but I would guess that you're angry (or possibly frustrated) on a family member or someone else you normally care about. That would explain the strong ambvivalent reaction.
As an alternative. An aspect of yourself?

[Prussian to the Iron]

No, as a matter of fact, I almost never remember my dreams. but when I do, they are always scary, but never to the point that I continually recalled it and never have I had any sort of emotion towards them.

I'm not realy angry at any one, I'm a bit annoyed that my mom is a computer nazi (password on my computer, ownt let me play unless I specifically ask, which she will almost always say no to), but I'm positive that shouldn't make me see myself mutilating the head of another human.

[Samurai Waki]

Have you considered taking up the time honored tradition of drink?

[Prussian to the Iron]

only 7 years away from legal drinking...

[Rhyfelwyr]

only 7 years away from legal drinking...

You have to be 21 to drink?

[A Very Super Market]

Dreams tend to have little meaning in themselves, and the ones that can be analyzed usually aren't directly related to the psychological diagnosis. For example, dreaming about a deceased loved one is widely said to be the last stage of grief, not a recurrence. Dreaming about horrific brutality doesn't make you a homicidal person, nor does dreaming about frolicking with bunnies make you purchase obcene amounts of small rabbits and prance with them.

Though your's has been recurring, it's most likely an abstract representation of something that's affecting your sub-conscious. It could really be anything, as our minds work in silly ways. If you aren't bombarded by thoughts of brutally beating someone during consciousness, it isn't something more serious like Schizophrenia. What you are being bombarded by are memories of the dream, which is strange in it's own right.

Night terrors tend to be the most memorable dreams, simply because you associate them with dread and fear, the more memorable of emotions. I remember posting on the dream thread about a dream in which I was sleeping next to a large whale, and waking up totally disoriented. I have weird dreams all the time, but I only remember them as being "Weird" and having no memory of anything that actually happened in them. Again, the only reason I remember the whale is because of the intense fear I experienced.

Were you sobbing when you woke up?

[Sheogorath]

I once had a dream where I was in the civil war, only the Confederates were zombies.

It was actually pretty awesome.

[Hax]

I watched 300 last night

One should avoid this. If movies were living things, this guy would be somewhat of a deranged monkey.

When I asked why they weren't moving, they pointed to my 9 year-old brother and a similar sized child, who were beating something a few feet into the woods. I moved up to it, and saw the mans barely alive body. Furious, I grabbed a log and repeatedly bashed his face and chest with great joy until his body was barely identifiable with a human.

Taking pleasure from murder and torture is something that should avoided, always. The fact that you responded in a very stressful manner when you woke up only shows the fact that you are not psychopathic. If you did not have fits of crying, you would be nothing short of a psychopath, probably.

However, there is something I'd like to ask. Do you experience a lot of anger in your life, and anger that is difficult for you to restrain.

[Centurion1]

*sigh* i am a few years older than you and a hormone drunk football player and i have dreams like that all the time. Some of my favorites are mma fighter, living in books that i love, historical events like thermopylae, hmm, oh and i like when i have dreams about being a marine infantry officer.

Dude, these things are normal and while i am loath to say something this cliched.... your body is changing (good i feel like a school nurse). you are starting to pump out more testosterone. The fact that you cried definetly tells me that you are not psychopathic. Hell in real life i would probably bash someone's head in if they shot me. Gah, you are probably kinder than me, i wouldn't even have cried. you have morals and know the difference between right and wrong, embrace this as knowledge that you are not a sociopath. As a boy who loves war, and violent video games, especially ancient war it really isn't surprising you had a dream like this. Seriously i would not worry about it, the dream barely made me blink. up until the part where you talked to his skull i didn't even notice anything weird for a fourteen year old boy. And the skull thing wa just your body creating mental imagery you knew was weird so it was easier to reject the dream.

Oh and p.s. i had dreams like this when i was like 11 if it makes you feel better. Than again i was sure that my family was descended from william the conqueror and i was a lord of battle. and my ancestors had taken many saxon heads. When i played football i even had a flipping war cry. So trust me you aren't even a 3 or 4 on the violence scale.

So dream kill on my brother in arms.

[Fragony]

Though your's has been recurring, it's most likely an abstract representation of something that's affecting your sub-conscious.

Yes. Dreams are weird, it's what keeps us sane, forget waterboarding the worst torture some can endure is the lingo that is depriving someone from sleeping. It's completely normal to have violent and sadistic dreams, but when they still bother you at daytime, that is not supposed to happen.

[Prussian to the Iron]

However, there is something I'd like to ask. Do you experience a lot of anger in your life, and anger that is difficult for you to restrain.

No. sometimes I get pretty annoyed, but I am usually a very calm person.

[Megas Methuselah]

So, *ahem* you wanna tell me about the hot women in your dreams?

[Snite]

I would say the only thing wrong with you is that you haven't moved past the dream and gotten on. Crying from shame over feeling joy to kill someone when you first wake up is fine, but you have to realize that it's a dream and only a dream and you aren't likely to joyously slaughter someone in real life, especially since dreams have been proven to have no relation to your actually psychology.

[Azathoth]

So, *ahem* you wanna tell me about the hot women in your dreams?

I've only had one wet dream in my whole life, and it involved demons. What do you make of that?

[Hooahguy]

youre not alone, dont worry.

last night i had a "dream" that in a poker game i won a really hot chick. my opponent was mad but i didnt care. i left the room for a minute to get a bottle of wine, and when i came back all that was left was her shoe. apparently the other guy stole her. i ran to call 911 but i was so scared i couldnt manage to call the number. then i saw him advance towards me with a bloody hatchet....
then i woke up.
strangely i felt really sick and threw up afterwards.