The Basileus needs advice!

[Teucer]

Ok, so this isn't exactly an AAR (still haven't gotten up the nerve to write one), but imagine it instead as a snapshot of a pivotal moment in the history of the mighty Epeirote Kingdom (and a shameless plea for advice).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE MAP...



THE MAJOR PLAYERS:

-Epeiros: It has been nearly 20 years since Chaireias, loyal Samnite general, completed the conquest of Italia for the house of Aiakos. Since then, the Epeirotes have been largely at peace. A few sporadic raids by the exiled Roman Republic and various Germanic tribes have been repulsed with ease. Loyal Alpine buffer states now hold back the Gallic and Teutonic hordes. To the east, tensions run high between Epeiros and the Pontic Kingdom. Although nominally allies, it seems only a matter of time before swords are drawn over possession of Byzantion.

-Pontos: The Pontic Kingdom managed to unite most of Anatolia under her crescent banner about 10 years ago. After a brief and indecisive war with the Kingdom of Hayasdan, Pontos began massing troops around Byzantion. War seemed imminent between the Houses of Kianos and Aiakos, but when Epeiros began to gather her forces east of Pella, the Pontic brass saw the light and withdrew to Asia.

-Hayasdan: The Armenians have just weathered an attack by their western neighbors. After a fortunate rebellion, they seem poised to make a comeback.

-Aedui: The victors in the Gallic Civil War now content themselves with periodic raids into Iberia. Peace prevails between the Aedui and the Germans, but it may not last.

-Sweboz: The Sweboz were thoroughly punished when they broke their alliance with Epeiros and attacked over the Alps. After losing their southern provinces they seem content to lick their wounds and wait for better days ahead.

-Carthage: Carthage is doing its normal thing. Not particularly aggressive in Iberia, but a power none the less. They just lost Kyrene to insurrection, but seem in no rush to regain it.

-Seleukids: Steadily losing ground to...

-TEH EVOL YELLOW FEVER DEATH SCOURGE : These guys are out of control. Despite my feeding the AS 40000 mnai every turn, they continue to steamroll their way towards India. My spies and assassins are doing what they can to stir up unrest, but the rebellions always seem to be put down within a few seasons. Peace has prevailed for the entire game between the Ptolemies and their northern neighbors, which has had the effect of funneling all their aggression against the Seleukids.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE SITUATION:

Basileus Alexandros Aiakides approached the inner chamber with some trepidation. Although his kingdom had controlled Delphi for nearly two decades, this was the first time in all his 72 years that he had actually requested an audience with the Oracle. As the aged monarch waited for the attendant to announce the Oracle's readiness to hear his query, Alexandros reflected on the situation he now found himself in.

The proverbial fly in his soup was large and it wore the double crown of Upper and Lower Egypt. Reports had been coming in to the eastern capital at Ambrakia for years now, relating a seemingly endless string of victories over an ever weakening Seleukid Empire. At last report, the Yellow Menace had reduced the once-great Seleukids to a handful of satrapies in the far east. It seemed only a matter of time before all of Persia fell under the sway of the House of Ptolemy.

Alexandros had no love for the Seleukids, but he feared that the delicate balance of power in the East might be irreparably damaged should ALL of their territory be incorporated into the Ptolemaic Empire. With the riches of Persia filling her coffers, Egypt would sweep north, crushing the Pontics, and then turning her greedy, kohl-dark, eyes on the fair shores of Hellas!

With Pontos (oblivious to the threat along her southern border) constantly threatening to emulate Xerxes by attacking Epeiros across the Hellespont, Alexandros did not currently have the enough forces available to launch an amphibious assault on the Ptolemaic heartland. If he wanted to check the Ptolemaic advance by force, he would first have to get rid of Pontos, a troublesome but - as yet - loyal ally.

The other option was the dip heavily into the royal coffers and launch the world's largest campaign of sabotage and rabble-rousing. Epeiros already had spies in the East, but it would take much more than a few agents to stir up the sort or rebellion needed to check Ptolemaic ambitions in Persia.

As if the expense was not bad enough, Alexandros knew that so large a campaign would surely not remain clandestine for long. Once the facts came to light, relations with Egypt would sour in a most unpleasant manner...

The attendant's polite cough brought the monarch out of his reverie. It was time to put his faith in the gods. Surely the Oracle would have something to offer him, even if her advice was liable to come in the form of riddles. With a sigh, Alexandros got to his feet and ambled after the attendant, his sandaled feed echoing faintly in the stillness of the hall...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SOOO.... There you have it. I've got a Ptolemy problem. I COULD just bum-rush Pontos and then square off for an epic struggle, but I'm trying not to blitz too much in this game, and I'm loath to attack an ally unless provoked.

Likewise, Its not really in my style to launch a raid on Egypt-proper (but I might be convinced of this course).

I've been trying to spread revolt with spies and assassins for the last several years, but every province I convince to rebel seems to be snapped up again within a few seasons. My thought is to roleplay a massive, pro-Seleukid revolt in Persia sponsored by Epeiros. I'd use force-diplomacy to take at least as far west as Susa and give it back to AS all at once. Hopefully this would be enough to get them back in the game (especially if I keep feeding them money).

The question is, is this too much cheating? Am I being lame by weakening my only rival of equal power? I'd like to hear your suggestions. You folks are, after all, the voice of the oracle...

[Olaf Blackeyes]

By this point i would pay ****** money to see the Seleucids beat out the Ptolemies JUST once. Im so sick of having to fight the yellow fever every campaign. Honestly its gotten so bad that i sometimes wanna jump in a time machine, fly back into the past and HATE-**** every single one of their incest loving deluded minds. >:( >:( Even when the AS seem to be winning, all it takes is for them to lose Antiochea and they go brain dead.

Heres an idea get the Pontics to kill the Ptollies for u. :)

[Weebeast]

Never been sympathetic to AS. If it's not the Ptolemis, it's them. I say sail across the sea and take Egypt proper. Use Sinai as bottleneck and allow Ptoly to get surrounded hoping the small factions will spring back up to life. Leave some garrisons just in case Getai and Pontus attack.

[Ludens]

Great introduction to a familiar problem. From a role-playing perspective, I agree with Olaf Blackeyes. It would be great if you could forge an anti-Ptolemic alliance with Pontus. However, the A.I. being what it is in this game, this is unlikely to work. Hence breaking alliance with Pontus, and then executing a massive attack is the obvious option. If you are feeling sneaky, you could make Pella look weak, so it's them who breaks the alliance. Of course, this may not work.

If you are really against attacking an ally, my suggestion would be to take Rhodos and Cyprus, and use these as staging posts for attacks on Antioch and the eastern Mediterranean seaboard. From there you could stab towards Egypt or Persia (my recommendation would be Egypt: it's rich, contains their best-developed provinces and is easier to defend). The problem is that the Ptolemeans are going to throw everything and the kitchen sink at you, so it's going to be a long, hectic campaign. Furthermore, Pontus is likely to declare war on you, so make sure Pella is well-guarded and leave a buffer of Ptolemaic provinces between you and Pontus.

I don't think the cloak-and-dagger campaign is going to work. The A.I. seems to have far less problems with loyalty than the player, and frankly you need to take the Ptolemeans out sooner rather than later. Revolts will only slow them down, and the Seleucids are in no position to take back their homelands.

[Hax]

By this point i would pay ****** money to see the Seleucids beat out the Ptolemies JUST once. Im so sick of having to fight the yellow fever every campaign. Honestly its gotten so bad that i sometimes wanna jump in a time machine, fly back into the past and HATE-**** every single one of their incest loving deluded minds. >:( >:( Even when the AS seem to be winning, all it takes is for them to lose Antiochea and they go brain dead.

There we go.

[Skullheadhq]

There we go.

You're the AS yourself, that doesn't count.

[Teucer]

Thanks for the advice you guys.... Although I don't particularly like it, the more I think about it, the more the idea of an attack on Alexandria makes sense. The problem is that I can't see a real-life Epeiros making such a move. Egypt is very far away from the power-base in Magna Graecia (my capital is Taras, btw), and without undisputed mastery of the sea, or control of the intervening territory, no ancient power would attempt such an assault.

I think what I'll do is roleplay a Cypriot revolt against the Ptolies (I'll give it to KH, an old enemy of mine), followed by an Epeirote intervention to quell the pirate raids coming from the island. Then I could simulate a Ptolemaic attempt to reconquer the island by teleporting a large army there and waiting for it to attack my small garrison. At that point war would be on and I could launch raids first against Antioch, then Sidon, then finally Alexandria and Aigyptos. This would create a series of stepping-stone bases which could act as a supply line for the advance on Egypt. I think at that point I would conquer the rest of the south but give it to Saba, leaving a buffer at Thebes (probably given to AS) to keep them from attacking me. With a stronger base, the Saba might actually be able to do something in their ongoing war with the Ptolies.

I'm sure Pontos will attack me somewhere in there, but I'm not really to worried about them. They have several full stacks, but they're mostly made up of levy hoplites and hippakontistai, so they shouldn't prove too difficult for my phalangites, thorakitai and cretans.

Any other suggestions would be appreciated

[Hax]

Go attack Egypt, take their settlements and gift them to Saba. Enjoy the massacre.

[the man with no name]

Go attack Egypt, take their settlements and gift them to Saba. Enjoy the massacre.

THat would be LOLZY