Mostly useless skills you can't believe you learned.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Me, I learned how to field strip and assemble an SA80 rifle and it's derivatives by age 13, by 16 I could do it in a minute.

This is totally useless, as I'm not a soldier and I'll never touch one of the things ever again; hopefully.

Anyone else have bizare skills from past lives?

[Lemur]

Stage combat. I had a brief and productive career as a stage actor in Chicago, and I had to learn how to do swordwork. Utterly useless.

I'd say singing, since it's such a marginal skill (unless you're pro), but people pay me to do it from time to time, and the kids love their bedtime songs, so it's marginally useful.

[cmacq]

I am a mostly useless skill.


CmacQ

[Rhyfelwyr]

When riding a bike, I used to put both feet onto one pedal, stand up, steer the handlebars with one hand, and put the other hand above my eyebrows to shield my eyes while I look ahead (you know the dramatic looking-into-the-distance pose). My brother and his friends like doing all the fancy bmx stuff and they thought my trick was pretty cool. Well probably more comical but still.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Stage combat. I had a brief and productive career as a stage actor in Chicago, and I had to learn how to do swordwork. Utterly useless.

I'd say singing, since it's such a marginal skill (unless you're pro), but people pay me to do it from time to time, and the kids love their bedtime songs, so it's marginally useful.

That's a good one.

[KukriKhan]

Using a manual Royal typewriter, I can accurately complete a DA Form 1 (in use since the early 1800's, documenting unit strength, disposition, and ability to perform its mission, it was the one thing that a Company Commander had to get right every morning, the numbers and comments being transmitted through the chain of command to army HQ daily by 0900)...



It was ditched in the late 70's for 5 other management reports of army unit strength - all of which in turn have been digitized and put entirely online.
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I can sort and accurately deliver hard-copy mail to up to 1,000 addresses per day, 6 days a week. So far, that's still a useful 'skill', but I think it will be obsolete/automated/electronicized by 2019. You guys don't send enough birthday cards or Mother's Day cards via hardcopy anymore. :(
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I can still double-clutch. The number of people who even know what that is diminishes daily.
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[Whacker]

I could get out of my car, pop the hood, pull the steering-column shifting gearing back into place, drop the hood, be back in my car with the door closed in well under 30 seconds.

I really miss my old Chevelle.

[Hooahguy]

chemistry

[miotas]

I can still double-clutch. The number of people who even know what that is diminishes daily.

Hate to break it to you, but double clutching is a very useful skill.

The most useless skills I know are related to doing things like line lockys, doughnuts, reverse 180's and what not in a car. I destroyed the diff in my first car implementing those particular "skills".

[InsaneApache]

Isn't it double de-clutch?

When I was a plant operator I used to blow down the steam boilers everyday. Massive Lancashire boilers at that. Very useful in the 21st centuary!

Mind you when I take the grandkids on the steam trains at least I can explain to them what all the knobs and glasses are for on the engine.

Algebra.

Did it for five years at grammar school and never used it once since I left. Along with quadratic equations and Latin.

[Mouzafphaerre]

.
I can make nigh perfect (an occasionally compose rather good) music; read and write in four different alphabets; foretell what the professor will say at the Classical Greek and Latin classes; seamlessly translate English text in a few minutes half asleep; make good company etc. etc. All of the above are useless skills; I can't make enough money and whenever I want to pick a girl she prefers to be good friends -on each and every instant in my ~20 years of adult life- and goes after a total or semi-jerk -in more than half of the occasions.
.

[cmacq]

.
I can make nigh perfect (an occasionally compose rather good) music; read and write in four different alphabets; foretell what the professor will say at the Classical Greek and Latin classes; seamlessly translate English text in a few minutes half asleep; make good company etc. etc. All of the above are useless skills; I can't make enough money and whenever I want to pick a girl she prefers to be good friends -on each and every instant in my ~20 years of adult life- and goes after a total or semi-jerk -in more than half of the occasions.
.

You...
my well-adjusted friend, are too bloody Civilized. As the barbarous Kelt are wont to say; Return to your Wild and there you’ll find Her Derde Deva.

Cryptic ambiguity, another mostly useless skill?

CmacQ

[Mouzafphaerre]

.

You...
my well-adjusted friend, are too bloody Civilized. As the barbarous Kelt are wont to say; Return to your Wild and there you’ll find Her Derde Deva.

Cryptic ambiguity, another mostly useless skill?

CmacQ

Dear sir;

Ne Ararsan Bulunur Derde Devâdan Gayrı



Command of classical poetry, yet another useless skill.
.

[cmacq]

Aye, remedy the chase with the hurly burly done, 'Cry Havoc' and let slip the Dogs of War.

Recital of Spear-Shaker, most defiantly a useless half-skill.

[Gregoshi]

Alas, I have no useless skills (that I've learned). In fact, "skill" is a word I find difficult to apply to myself at any level.

Hmmm, maybe that is
a skill in itself...

[Ramses II CP]

VMS version 2&3 commands for automated picker machines. This wouldn't be useless if I'd learned it in the 80s, but I learned it in 1998, about fifteen years after it went out of date, just because I worked with a guy who happened to keep some of the machines around for fun.