Mostly useless skills you can't believe you learned.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Me, I learned how to field strip and assemble an SA80 rifle and it's derivatives by age 13, by 16 I could do it in a minute.

This is totally useless, as I'm not a soldier and I'll never touch one of the things ever again; hopefully.

Anyone else have bizare skills from past lives?

[Lemur]

Stage combat. I had a brief and productive career as a stage actor in Chicago, and I had to learn how to do swordwork. Utterly useless.

I'd say singing, since it's such a marginal skill (unless you're pro), but people pay me to do it from time to time, and the kids love their bedtime songs, so it's marginally useful.

[cmacq]

I am a mostly useless skill.


CmacQ

[Rhyfelwyr]

When riding a bike, I used to put both feet onto one pedal, stand up, steer the handlebars with one hand, and put the other hand above my eyebrows to shield my eyes while I look ahead (you know the dramatic looking-into-the-distance pose). My brother and his friends like doing all the fancy bmx stuff and they thought my trick was pretty cool. Well probably more comical but still.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Stage combat. I had a brief and productive career as a stage actor in Chicago, and I had to learn how to do swordwork. Utterly useless.

I'd say singing, since it's such a marginal skill (unless you're pro), but people pay me to do it from time to time, and the kids love their bedtime songs, so it's marginally useful.

That's a good one.

[KukriKhan]

Using a manual Royal typewriter, I can accurately complete a DA Form 1 (in use since the early 1800's, documenting unit strength, disposition, and ability to perform its mission, it was the one thing that a Company Commander had to get right every morning, the numbers and comments being transmitted through the chain of command to army HQ daily by 0900)...



It was ditched in the late 70's for 5 other management reports of army unit strength - all of which in turn have been digitized and put entirely online.
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I can sort and accurately deliver hard-copy mail to up to 1,000 addresses per day, 6 days a week. So far, that's still a useful 'skill', but I think it will be obsolete/automated/electronicized by 2019. You guys don't send enough birthday cards or Mother's Day cards via hardcopy anymore. :(
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I can still double-clutch. The number of people who even know what that is diminishes daily.
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[Whacker]

I could get out of my car, pop the hood, pull the steering-column shifting gearing back into place, drop the hood, be back in my car with the door closed in well under 30 seconds.

I really miss my old Chevelle.

[Hooahguy]

chemistry

[Aemilius Paulus]

Mathematics. Whether I will be a lawyer of a professor, maths will not serve me. Even if I do not become either of those, I doubt I will use the calculus and trigonometry I am currently learning. I am fien with Algebra and statistics/probabilities, but anything more complex may as well be witchcraft.

Then I have the foreign languages. I studied and had some successes with French and German, but when my studies of those terminated, I eventually forgot, as I studied them last way back in grade school, in Russia. Good luck finding a public middle school (grades 6-8) that teaches those two. Even finding the high schools that teach that is in itself an arduous task. Not that I will need much French or German in my life, or so I reckon.

Continuing on, I learned to play the piano between ages 11-13, but that was a likewise waste, as I do not listen to or appreciate music at all. Not to mention, despite the rather abstract and nuanced "soul", emotional and artistic benefits, I still nevertheless see the skill of playing musical instruments a useless skill unless one is interested in it, or employs the instrument to earn one's own living.

Well, that is my list so far, although I am certain I could extend it if I actually took time to think and remember more information.

@PVC: weapons use is never a useless skill in this world, although I have to admit the Brits are rather comparatively safe in their little island... As a Russian citizen I will have to serve 12 months in the military (reduced from 18, which was itself reduced from two years). However, there are numerous exceptions, and if I shall pursue a doctorate then I will be exempt from the military service. Otherwise, thee is a bully chance I will learn the art of fighting for a year...

[Samurai Waki]

Audio Projecting for Stage Use, learned it in High School for Production Management on Plays. Used it a few times, know how to use a mix board, well... the basics anyway.

[GeneralHankerchief]

Took a basic film photography class in high school - learned how to use a darkroom, the whole nine yards. Haven't used film in a camera since (4 years now).

I also used to be able to solve a Rubik's Cube in around a minute. I can still do it, but it takes anywhere from a minute and a half to two minutes now. Still haven't found a practical application for speed-solving yet. The ladies aren't as impressed as one might think with that particular skill.

[miotas]

I can still double-clutch. The number of people who even know what that is diminishes daily.

Hate to break it to you, but double clutching is a very useful skill.

The most useless skills I know are related to doing things like line lockys, doughnuts, reverse 180's and what not in a car. I destroyed the diff in my first car implementing those particular "skills".

[InsaneApache]

Isn't it double de-clutch?

When I was a plant operator I used to blow down the steam boilers everyday. Massive Lancashire boilers at that. Very useful in the 21st centuary!

Mind you when I take the grandkids on the steam trains at least I can explain to them what all the knobs and glasses are for on the engine.

Algebra.

Did it for five years at grammar school and never used it once since I left. Along with quadratic equations and Latin.

[Hax]

Being able to bite my toenails.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Mathematics. Whether I will be a lawyer of a professor, maths will not serve me. Even if I do not become either of those, I doubt I will use the calculus and trigonometry I am currently learning. I am fien with Algebra and statistics/probabilities, but anything more complex may as well be witchcraft.

Then I have the foreign languages. I studied and had some successes with French and German, but when my studies of those terminated, I eventually forgot, as I studied them last way back in grade school, in Russia. Good luck finding a public middle school (grades 6-8) that teaches those two. Even finding the high schools that teach that is in itself an arduous task. Not that I will need much French or German in my life, or so I reckon.

Continuing on, I learned to play the piano between ages 11-13, but that was a likewise waste, as I do not listen to or appreciate music at all. Not to mention, despite the rather abstract and nuanced "soul", emotional and artistic benefits, I still nevertheless see the skill of playing musical instruments a useless skill unless one is interested in it, or employs the instrument to earn one's own living.

Well, that is my list so far, although I am certain I could extend it if I actually took time to think and remember more information.

@PVC: weapons use is never a useless skill in this world, although I have to admit the Brits are rather comparatively safe in their little island... As a Russian citizen I will have to serve 12 months in the military (reduced from 18, which was itself reduced from two years). However, there are numerous exceptions, and if I shall pursue a doctorate then I will be exempt from the military service. Otherwise, thee is a bully chance I will learn the art of fighting for a year...

Take it from me, languages and arithmatic are more useful than weapons skills. The latter are useless unless you go for a soldier, and even then only if you deploy.

[Viking]

Analyzing poems, folk dance, playing the recorder. I have probably lost most of them by now..

[KukriKhan]

Isn't it double de-clutch?

A quaint British-ism, my Yorkie friend. :) We colonials have had synchro gearboxes for so long now that only ancient long-haul truckers know the fine art of heel-toe engine rev-ups anymore. Heck, a good 75% of our under-35 drivers have never operated a manual trannie, much less an unsynchronized one.

For the record, I hold the opinion that there are no useless skills. Just ones not currently productive. Learning and mastering any skill keeps the mind active and inquisitive. A good thing, and one highly valued later in life, to fight the natural tendency to let the mind atrophy.

[cmacq]

I hold the opinion that there are no useless skills

Indeed, we all hold fast our pleasant fictions?

[Aemilius Paulus]

Take it from me, languages and arithmatic are more useful than weapons skills. The latter are useless unless you go for a soldier, and even then only if you deploy.

Yes, but I forgot the languages, and I will forget the mathematics. Unlike your weapons skills, which are likely to require less maintenance. And it is not arithmetic I was speaking of. No, most people retain and continue to employ it. Rather, I was talking of the high-level Algebra, trigonometry and low-level calculus. Good luck remembering that without using it...

[InsaneApache]

Heck, a good 75% of our under-35 drivers have never operated a manual trannie, much less an unsynchronized one.

Tell me about it. I lent 'mom' my beemer when she was living in the UK. Man it sounded like a grenade going off as she tried to ram the gearstick into first. She couldn't work out what was wrong until I ponted out the third pedal!

As she explained, she hadn't driven a 'stickshift' since she was in her twenties. (She's over sixty now)

[miotas]

If you can't find it, grind it!

[Mouzafphaerre]

.
I can make nigh perfect (an occasionally compose rather good) music; read and write in four different alphabets; foretell what the professor will say at the Classical Greek and Latin classes; seamlessly translate English text in a few minutes half asleep; make good company etc. etc. All of the above are useless skills; I can't make enough money and whenever I want to pick a girl she prefers to be good friends -on each and every instant in my ~20 years of adult life- and goes after a total or semi-jerk -in more than half of the occasions.
.

[cmacq]

.
I can make nigh perfect (an occasionally compose rather good) music; read and write in four different alphabets; foretell what the professor will say at the Classical Greek and Latin classes; seamlessly translate English text in a few minutes half asleep; make good company etc. etc. All of the above are useless skills; I can't make enough money and whenever I want to pick a girl she prefers to be good friends -on each and every instant in my ~20 years of adult life- and goes after a total or semi-jerk -in more than half of the occasions.
.

You...
my well-adjusted friend, are too bloody Civilized. As the barbarous Kelt are wont to say; Return to your Wild and there you’ll find Her Derde Deva.

Cryptic ambiguity, another mostly useless skill?

CmacQ

[Avicenna]

Yes, but I forgot the languages, and I will forget the mathematics. Unlike your weapons skills, which are likely to require less maintenance. And it is not arithmetic I was speaking of. No, most people retain and continue to employ it. Rather, I was talking of the high-level Algebra, trigonometry and low-level calculus. Good luck remembering that without using it...

Those aren't so much useful directly in terms of application (unless you're a scientist/mathematician of some sort), but learning them teaches you to think logically, which is a very useful skill.

[Mouzafphaerre]

.

You...
my well-adjusted friend, are too bloody Civilized. As the barbarous Kelt are wont to say; Return to your Wild and there you’ll find Her Derde Deva.

Cryptic ambiguity, another mostly useless skill?

CmacQ

Dear sir;

Ne Ararsan Bulunur Derde Devâdan Gayrı



Command of classical poetry, yet another useless skill.
.

[cmacq]

Aye, remedy the chase with the hurly burly done, 'Cry Havoc' and let slip the Dogs of War.

Recital of Spear-Shaker, most defiantly a useless half-skill.

[Gregoshi]

Alas, I have no useless skills (that I've learned). In fact, "skill" is a word I find difficult to apply to myself at any level.

Hmmm, maybe that is
a skill in itself...

[Ramses II CP]

VMS version 2&3 commands for automated picker machines. This wouldn't be useless if I'd learned it in the 80s, but I learned it in 1998, about fifteen years after it went out of date, just because I worked with a guy who happened to keep some of the machines around for fun.

[Reverend Joe]

Indoor hospital construction and demolition. I very seriously doubt that will ever come in handy.

Being able to bite my toenails.

EEEEEEEEEEW!

[Azathoth]

So what? I do it too. They're very chewy.