Texas Hospitality

[Strike For The South]

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.

She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step.

Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.

With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."

[Louis VI the Fat]

When I can't get onto a bus, I just pull up my skirt a bit. That usually does the trick. Shows of my lace stockings too.

[Louis VI the Fat]

What's the difference between a Texan and a Frenchman?

When a hot chick in a skimpy dress trice unzips a Frenchman's fly, he'll lift her into the bus without using his hands.

[Strike For The South]

What's the difference between a Texan and a Frenchman?

When a hot chick in a skimpy dress trice unzips a Frenchman's fly, he'll lift her into the bus without using his hands.

That's how you do it?

[InsaneApache]

When I can't get onto a bus, I just pull up my skirt a bit. That usually does the trick. Shows of my lace stockings too.

You wern't out on a bender in Swansea t'other night by any chance?

[Louis VI the Fat]

You wern't out on a bender in Swansea t'other night by any chance?

Nigel?

Nigel!

It was you who offered me twenty quid for [frontroom], wasn't it!?

[Hosakawa Tito]

A guy is driving around the back woods of Texas and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: ‘Talking Dog For Sale ’ He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
‘You talk?’ he asks.
‘Yep,’ the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says ‘So, what’s your story?’
The Lab looks up and says, ‘Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.’

‘I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.’ ‘I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.’
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.


‘Ten dollars,’ the guy says.
‘Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?’
‘Because he’s a liar. He never did any of that stuff.

[InsaneApache]

Someone hit the wrong thread. I seriously doubt that beer was involved. Funny as hell though.

[Ibrahim]

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.

She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step.

Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.

With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."

[Fragony]

So, a Texan went to school

MUHAHAHAHA the shortist AND the best

[CountArach]

@ Hosakawa - That was great