The Gamers Mafia 2: Dorkness Rising [Concluded]

[Beefy187]

Vote: Beefy187

:(

I so deserved that

[Askthepizzaguy]

Because I hate you. I curse your name every night. I stuck multiple needles in a booby doll with your name on it. I cannot suppress my hatred towards you. I hate you so much, that I went to the priest and asked for a guidance. He said this.
"Good priestess. It is not hate which occupies your mind. It is love. Your in love with the man."

It was love. Love so deep, that I cannot control it. Love so painful, that it is almost love killing. I have my duty as a priestess. As a good priestess it is my duty to kill you. Killing you will eject my love from you and that love will fill the world of chaos and depression. World will be filled with love. It will be lovely! That is why I must kill you. Because I want the world to be lovely.

If I had room in my signature, this would be the whole thing.

[pevergreen]

Mmmm two out of 5 posting.

Lets extend over the weekend.

[Iskander 3.1]

Vote: Split. Unless you are Sir Osric, in which case we shall fornicate.

[Splitpersonality]

Oh come on... I already died once for chrissakes!

[Reenk Roink]

Vote: Beefy

He gamed use before so we can't be humiliated again.

[pevergreen]

The group sat down for the night and thought back to the time when Sir Osric and Brother Silence joined them.

The Heirophant's room in the Church.

It was a sombre affair, Luster was considering stealing the holy artifact the Heirophant held, but was informed that since the entire church was filled with paladins, that it would be suicide.

Flynn heard a wonderful noise and inquired as to what it was.

A sultry voice came from the side.

"It is the ode to Therin, it calls to our goddess."

I seduce the priestess!

pever: What? Shes taken a vow of celibacy!

Flynn: Dude...twenty ranks in seduction.

Flynn: Hey baby...wanna 'tune' my 'mandolin'?

*dice rolling*

Sexy Priestess: heheheh

The two of them run off

Daphne: Please understand that the horny bard does not represent us.


Bringing them back into the present is the bad stink of the dead body. Of the sexy priestess.

Flynn: She was so beautiful...

Players: 4/7
split
Iksander
Tratorix
Reenk


Dead: 3/7
atheotes
CDF
Beefy

[Splitpersonality]

Good job guys, pointless kill sa was poooooointless.

[Reenk Roink]

Vote: Iksander

I investigated him, he is Mafia.

[Iskander 3.1]

Excuse me? I'm a good guy. So either I'm a "mason" and I don't know it, or Reenk's trying to take attention away from himself.

Vote: Reenk Roink. Justifiable OMGUS vote.

[Reenk Roink]

True, I lied.

Unvote, Vote: Reenk

[Cultured Drizzt fan]

[Tratorix]

Vote: Iskander

Since Reenk lied about being a detective, he could also be lying now, and is therefore telling the truth.

[pevergreen]

The heroes have made it to Mort Kemnon's throne room. With him being dead, its rather empty.

Until the former characters of the players come out of nowhere and start attacking everyone!


Flynn: Watch out for Renard, he'll backstab you!

*Flynn gets backstabbed*

Flynn: Just like that...

A large fight ensures with much attacking of the fighter, in heavy armour, but the hand blows of Brother Silence are useless against metal.

Daphne is shield bashed in the face and goes down.

Sir Osric runs to her side to try to revive her, but the staff is out of charges...


Players: 3/7
split
Tratorix
Reenk


Dead: 4/7
atheotes
CDF
Beefy
Iksander

ITS THE FINAL DAY PHASE.

[Splitpersonality]

:l

I know it's not me, tratoix has been quiet...


Vote....Tratorix

[Reenk Roink]

Vote: Tratorix he supports liars

[Tratorix]

Welp, looks like I'm cooked. But since split has died before, I'll Vote: Reenk.

[pevergreen]

The heroes had made their way to the top of the castle.

Across from them was the tome of Mort Kemnon's power. If they could destroy it, the land would return to peace.

Wary of such an easy end to their quest, Sir Osric, Luster and Flynn the Fine stalk towards it.

A haze appears off to their side, and suddenly a legion of Zombie Ninja's pop out.

Osric: This must be the work of Mort Agrippa, the last remaining evil in the land.

Osric and Luster tie up the zombie ninjas, and Flynn somehow finds himself alone at the tome!

pever: Flynn is alone at the tome!

Flynn: I stab it! No wait! I backstab it!

pever: You can't backstab an inaminate object.

Flynn: Why not? Its prone isnt it?

pever: It doesnt have a discernable anatomy.

Flynn: Its got a spine doesnt it? *Flynn roll's a die for his backstab*

*The die lands on a one.*

Flynn: Ha h-. *Flynn stabs himself*

pever: Wow split...that was unprecedented.

split: Bards...suck.

Luster: On the bright side, it did give me time to finish casting my spell.

pever: And what spell is that?

Luster: *knowing smile*

*Luster casts Flaming Hand of Fiery Doom on the tome, it explodes*

Mort Agrippa appears out of nowhere, about to summon more Zombies, when, much to the surprise of Luster and Osric, Brother Silence joins them via the stairs.

Brother Silence: Its time to end this.

pever: Wait, what? A shotgu-

atheotes: Its from the trunk.

Unfortunately for the heroes, the shotgun does nothing.

atheotes shrugs and throws the shotgun down, and unsheathes a lightsaber

pever: A lightsaber?

atheotes: No. I see no lightsaber, that would be a copyright infringement. What I see is psionic spearblade.

Luster runs in to distract Mort Agrippa, while Brother Silence goes round the back and does a stunning blow.
Mort Agrippa is frozen in place.

atheotes waves his hands in front of Agrippa's face, but there is no reaction. He takes his hand and puts it on Agrippa's jaw.

Brother Silence as Mort Agrippa: My names Mort Agrippa. I control Zombie Ninjas. Are they Zinjas? Or just Nombies? I dunno!

Luster casts another spell and Agrippa explodes and falls to the ground.

Atheotes: He's still alive?

Atheotes throws a bunch of TNT and detonates it.

Mort Agrippa: You think I am dead?

Luster: Pretty much. You did just explode.

atheotes: *smiling* Twice actually.

Mort Agrippa: You have only made him more powerful.

Mort Agrippa vanishes, leaving Brother Silence, Flynn's body, Luster and Sir Osric alone on the top of the castle.


Sir Osric: Show yourself villain! I shall spread the buttery taste of justice over the sour dough of your evil ways.

Lacking an enemy, Sir Osric casts raise dead on Flynn.

As they decided beforehand that they would still lynch someone, Flynn and Luster advanced on Sir Osric.

Tratorix: You would betray me? Me who gave you so much power?

split: Countersong!

Tratorix beings to warp, his body changes and returns to his true form, that of Mort Agrippa.

Luster: Didn't we kill you?

atheotes: I agree Reenk, it makes no sense.

Tratorix: Because this is just a cover as well!

Tratorix again warps, this time into his real persona, that of the Heirophant.

Tratorix: You have foiled my plans this time, come! Away we go Floppenwrist!



And with that simple, slightly homosexual line, the land was once again returned to peace.


Or was it?





Town Victory.

Roles:
1. Luster - Reenk
2. Daphne - Iksander
3. Farmer/Mort Kemnon - CDF
4. Sir Osric/Mort Agrippa/Heirophant - Tratorix
5. Flynn - split
6. Sexy priestess - Beefy
7. Brother Silence - Atheotes

Role PM's (slightly changed when sent out)

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

You are Sir Osric, paladin of Therin. You will spread the buttery justice over the bread of the evil doer's foul deeds. You have been charged by the Heriophant to bring the mask of death to him. You have been grouped with a bunch of misbehaved adventurers and Daphne, a fighter. Luster, the mage, is the one you dislike the most, only next to your brother in faith, Brother Silence. The mage brings far too much attention to your group, the troublesome strumpet.

You are Brother Silence, Monk of Therin. Warrior monk, in fact. Elven warrior monk. No wait, Human monk. Bald. Together with the Paladin Osric, you have been tasked by your Heirophant to bring the mask of death to him. You are, however, distant to Daphne and Osric, being good friends with Luster and Flynn. You have many odd sayings, such as: "He who stumbles around in darkness with a stick is blind, but he who sticks out in darkness is....fluroescent!"

I seduce the priestess! What do you mean I can't? Vow of celibacy? Dude...twenty ranks in seduction..."Hey Baby...wanna..'tune' my 'mandolin'?" You are Flynn, bard, with an entirely explainable taste for women. You will realise soon, however, that Bards suck! Never fear, Flynn is here! Comments from your party members include "Gosh damn it all man, help us!" I am! You do all you can. You try to pacify them with bardic music, but they shoot you. Luckily you have the staff of ressurection. You were tasked by the King to destroy the mask, but when summoned to the Heirophant, overruled and told to bring the mask to him. You are close to Luster, having boinked her in the throne room of the king. Daphne has expressed that the Horny Bard does not represent you as a group.

You are Luster, a wild mage. WILD!!! You're also a hot chick. MMM, rub those nipples, you scrawny ugly man. Yes, you're a man playing a chick, in Dungeons and Dragons. You've been tasked by the King to destroy the mask of death, but when summoned by the heirophant he overruled the king and told you to bring the mask of death to him.

You are Daphne, quarterstaff wielding, intelligence based, female human fighter. You prefer to negotiate over a fight, think through your course of action and so forth. Basically at odds with the rest of your party. You are attracted to Sir Osric and disgusted by the rest of your party.

You are the Sexy Priestess of Therin. The Bard seduced you and you want him dead! Your Heirophant also wants the Mask of Death, so you should probably get that too, you needy bitch.

You are Mort Kemnon, the evil sorcerer. Wielder of the Mask of Death. You will take over this land one point at a time. With your servant Mort Agrippa, you will defeat the weak heroes and RULE THE EARTH! You have a cover role as a Farmer

Fresh Oranges! Grapefruit! The best apples in town! You are the farmer, You stand outside the Kings town and sell your produce. You are also a conduit of infomation, the only person who knows which way to Mort Kemnon.

You are Mort Agrippa, you control Zombie Ninjas. Are the Zinjas? or just Nombies? I dunno! You work for your king, Mort Kemnon, wielder of the Mask of Death. You must use all your resources to get rid of the heroes who are most certainly not welcome here.

You are the Heirophant. You are the ultimate villain in this world, having imprisoned the Goddess of Light, your Goddess, in an orb of light upon your staff. You must be the last one standing.

[Reenk Roink]

Hahaha my original plan to lie about Iksander then to unlie then to get Tratorix to go on the lie thus flushing him out and winning the game worked!

[atheotes]

good job town... thanks for hosting pever.

[Cultured Drizzt fan]

yes thanks Pever. good game, although I was owned early on.

[Beefy187]

good game

[Splitpersonality]

Good game, I'm so glad I guessed right on Tratorix lmao.

Sorry for the squabble beefy :P

[Tratorix]

Drat, my cunning scheme of lurking shamelessly to victory didn't work.