Should I?

[pevergreen]

That is all.

[CountArach]

Yes. Live now, don't regret.

[pevergreen]

But that would involve potentially giving up a better option.

Exciting new option that may fail (30% chance)

Old option with many, many down sides that has less chance of failing (50%)

Thoughts?

[CountArach]

Go the first one. Make sure you have a back-up.

[Pannonian]

Never. Unless it is, in which case always.

[Ibn-Khaldun]

Yes, you should.

[Fragony]

Yeah you should, but on the other hand, maybe you shouldn't

[Beskar]

Vote Yes to save your soul.

Also, Yesman is a good movie by Jim Carrey.

[Ibn-Khaldun]

Yes, "Yes man" is a good movie.
Bought it's dvd recently!

[pevergreen]

Situation:

First option above, new girl has come into the picture. Very interesting, good sense of humour (compatible with mine, which is rather rare) quite pretty. 70% sure she's interested.

Second option...ex girlfriend.
https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?t=106367
Her. Backroom thread, so you may not have access.

You may ask, why?

I still love her. I can't stop. I talked to her sunday night and did everything I could to start despising her properly, but it ended up we just talked about the first time we spent together and how happy we were.

Bad idea for first one: Shes three years younger. Which makes her 15.

I'm caught in the middle. Right now, I aim for the former and back-up meeting with the latter.

Is either a good idea?

[LeftEyeNine]

Oh nevermind.

[Andres]

Make up your mind about your ex (current?) girlfriend before doing anything else.

If you really want to end the history with your (current?) ex, then just break all contact for several months.

Once you're over it, go back to hunting.

[pevergreen]

Already have. After the last post in that thread:

Next few weeks we stopped lieing to each other about everything. A lot of what i knew about her was false, but it meant the bad things she told me were false.

No contact until feb, she contacts me out of the blue and asks to see me and keep her company. Lacking anything to do on a saturday night (as usual) i agree and meet her. Discover she now smokes, drinks heavily and does illicit drugs. Oh and that night I sat waiting for her for an hour to even show up.

Another 6 months without contact.

Then another message.

"Help me I think I'm pregnant."

I help her out.

Then nothing, until now a few weeks ago. We start talking on and off.

In the last year I've seen her twice.

[Andres]

Sounds to me like she's abusing your friendship to help cleaning up her mess whenever a cleaner is needed.

Don't let her play with your feelings.

I'll be blunt: dump her.

And, since you're apparently still in love with her, do yourself a favour and give yourself enough time to get over it before starting something with another girl.

[pevergreen]

Theres nothing to be dumped.

I've tried. And it goes away. But then every time I get close to something new, she pops back in.

Like a tripwire.

[Andres]

After the last post in that thread:

Next few weeks we stopped lieing to each other about everything. A lot of what i knew about her was false, but it meant the bad things she told me were false.

Are you saying she was making all that stuff up back then?

Regardless, you had a relationship, it didn't work out and it'll probably never work out. You were there for her because there were signs of a serious crisis (depression, bad situation at home). You did what you could. In the process, your relationship didn't survive.

Now, you need to be able to carry on with your life. It seems to me that as long as this girl/woman has not completely disappeared out of your life, you won't be able to.

If she really cares about you, she'll understand that now is the time for her to disappear and to leave you alone.

Right now, she's being selfish and abusing your feelings. It has to stop.

[pevergreen]

Not entirely true. She said she was ing up and that she should never speak to me again, but I stopped her.

I don't know why.

I'm going to play D&D and think thoughts in a few hours.

I welcome any other opinions.

To all those who helped me back then, you have my sincere thanks. Because of your advice, she is healthy.

[Fragony]

I am with Andres. Don't put up with that.

[caravel]

Discover she now smokes, drinks heavily and does illicit drugs. Oh and that night I sat waiting for her for an hour to even show up.

Get out of it now before it's too late.

[naut]

As Andres said. She is being selfish, and abusing your trust and emotions. Please, for your own sake do not go back to her. Yes, it's nice to think about helping people out, but in a situation like this where you now have very little to do with her you should think of yourself first.

On the other issue, 15 seems a little young. You are 18 correct well, 18 /2 = 9 + 7 = 16, which is sort of downward limit. However, I'm not here to judge and at the end of the day you should do what feels right by you.

[Fragony]

On the other issue, 15 seems a little young.

Nah, being an 18 year old male is being young

[pevergreen]

Its out of it, yes Rythmic, but... She doesnt act her age.

shes 16 a month after i'm 19.

Point is probably moot. I mean, I'm more popular here than IRL right now (side effect of work) and I'm not exactley loved here.

[Beefy187]

Its out of it, yes Rythmic, but... She doesnt act her age.

shes 16 a month after i'm 19.

Point is probably moot. I mean, I'm more popular here than IRL right now (side effect of work) and I'm not exactley loved here.

Nonesense! Your always on my top list.... Right after Flaxie

[naut]

Its out of it, yes Rythmic, but... She doesnt act her age.

shes 16 a month after i'm 19.

Point is probably moot. I mean, I'm more popular here than IRL right now (side effect of work) and I'm not exactley loved here.

As I should have said. If you like her, you should go for it, the age gap won't matter.

Edit: Chin up lad. You're a good bloke and don't you dare forget that.

[pevergreen]

I can't take that straight.

If you lived in any other state...



This all hinges on if I pass my driving test on thursday.

I need to pass for this, for life in general, and to show that techs beat salespeople (sales manager took his test today, failed. entire service team needs me to pass >_>)

[GeneralHankerchief]

Well, I was originally going to offer my standard "apply game theory" advice to the situation, but this thread turned serious fast.

Definitely stay away from #2, and don't feel bad about it either. You've done all you can. Nobody will fault you for it. Appeasing her further may WILL drag you down with her. From what you've told me and said in other threads (assuming it's the same girl) I'd give #1 a shot. You seem happy about/with her, which is all you can really ask for.

[Strike For The South]

Dump the crazy one. Throw it in the sane one.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

While I appreciate why the others have said the things they have, I also appreciate that you are in a difficult emotional position.

Consider this: Why did you love her, what were those things, and are they still there? It sounds to me like she is no longer the gilr you love, and you are still in love with the memory.

I sympathise, but if she is not going to be that girl again and is just going to use you instead then you don't have anything more to do with her.

Recognising that, however, doesn't automatically leave you free to persue the oither girl.

[edyzmedieval]

Dude, why 15? Get a 25 year old, you'll love it until you find a girl younger and experienced enough to be your wife.

Trust me on this one, experienced girls are just incredible. And if they look good, you're in for the ride of your life.

[Samurai Waki]

I would say get rid of the ex, it's obvious you're her fallback guy. Go on to No Contact, don't take her phone calls, don't reply to texts or emails, if she says hi while you're walking down the street, nod and keep walking.

The young one sounds like she would be the much, much better option of the two.