Should I?

[Fragony]

Her age is less the issue for me than having sex with one of your sister's friends. Age gap on the other hand is a big issue for me, older men who associate with younger women are often predatory in nature.

predatory me, no I am not.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

predatory me, no I am not.

I didn't say you were Frag, I was just making the distinction.

[Fragony]

I didn't say you were Frag, I was just making the distinction.

You have to understand that the Nethrlands isn't like the US, we are completely different when it comes to certain things. Much the same, but different.

[Strike For The South]

You have to understand that the Nethrlands isn't like the US, we are completely different when it comes to certain things. Much the same, but different.

Considering he's a brit I'm sure that'll be comforting

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

You have to understand that the Nethrlands isn't like the US, we are completely different when it comes to certain things. Much the same, but different.

And again, not American. For Pete's sake, this is the second time you've done this this month alone.

No offence to our American friends, but it's irritating.

In any case, a 30's or 40's year old man preying on girls in their teens/early twenties is considerably lacking in class.

[Strike For The South]

And again, not American. For Pete's sake, this is the second time you've done this this month alone.

No offence to our American friends, but it's irritating.

In any case, a 30's or 40's year old man preying on girls in their teens/early twenties is considerably lacking in class.

Considering he's a brit I'm sure that'll be comforting

you're welcome!

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

you're welcome!

Well, I saw your post, and I thought of putting something like, "Strike remembers" (which sounded offensive to you) or "The Americans themselves can tell (maybe offensive in general).

So I copped out, sorry.

It's nice yto know someone does bother to pay attention, though.

[Strike For The South]

Well, I saw your post, and I thought of putting something like, "Strike remembers" (which sounded offensive to you) or "The Americans themselves can tell (maybe offensive in general).

So I copped out, sorry.

It's nice yto know someone does bother to pay attention, though.

Any attention for me is good attention.

I wasn't held enough as a young girl.

[Fragony]

And again, not American. For Pete's sake, this is the second time you've done this this month alone.

No offence to our American friends, but it's irritating.

In any case, a 30's or 40's year old man preying on girls in their teens/early twenties is considerably lacking in class.

If she is older then 17 what's the problem, old enough to fend for theirselves. I am 32, I'll sleep with a 17 year old girl. I will however never abuse anyone

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Any attention for me is good attention.

I wasn't held enough as a young girl.

Neither was I, but like any man, it make me hard as Iron; then a woman broke my heart and I became like unto steel.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

If she is older then 17 what's the problem, old enough to fend for theirselves. I am 32, I'll sleep with a 17 year old girl. I will however never abuse anyone

Not all 17 year olds make good choices (most make bad ones), if you are trying to pick up 17 year olds you are pitting your own experience against their relative naivity. Also, there's no chance of a relatio nship, so the whole exercise is cynical.

Not cool really. I'm not quite 23 and I know it would be easy for me to wow 17 year old girls, I prefer a more even playing field.

[Fragony]

Not all 17 year olds make good choices (most make bad ones), if you are trying to pick up 17 year olds you are pitting your own experience against their relative naivity.

I would never do such a thing, behaviour like that isn't exacly my thing.

[Samurai Waki]

This thread is quickly moving into the backroom arena.

Suffice it to say, I don't think Frags, nor the Netherlands is in the wrong on this one. Elsewise, we would have a much smaller prison population of just over 18 sex offenders. The argument is a dubious one at best.

[Beskar]

Many people never grow up.

[Strike For The South]

Many people never grow up.

So we can never have sex with them?

[Craterus]

Not all 17 year olds make good choices (most make bad ones), if you are trying to pick up 17 year olds you are pitting your own experience against their relative naivity. Also, there's no chance of a relatio nship, so the whole exercise is cynical.

Not cool really. I'm not quite 23 and I know it would be easy for me to wow 17 year old girls, I prefer a more even playing field.

People ('women' would probably land me some points) make poor relationship choices into their 30s and beyond. You're making a fair point, but older women can be similarly 'duped'.

This is more about intentions, IMO.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Many people never grow up.

People ('women' would probably land me some points) make poor relationship choices into their 30s and beyond. You're making a fair point, but older women can be similarly 'duped'.

This is more about intentions, IMO.

Fair points, but what kind of man in his 30's tries to have sex with a teenager, I mean actually walks into a club/coffee shop etc. and goes for a woman so much his junior?

My sister is 18, I wouldn't go below that age now, to be honest at (nearly) 23 I'm not comfortable with going after teenagers any more, they're just so "young" compared to women in their 20's. Their outlook etc. is often totally different.

[Fragony]

Fair points, but what kind of man in his 30's tries to have sex with a teenager, I mean actually walks into a club/coffee shop etc. and goes for a woman so much his junior?

My sister is 18, I wouldn't go below that age now, to be honest at (nearly) 23 I'm not comfortable with going after teenagers any more, they're just so "young" compared to women in their 20's. Their outlook etc. is often totally different.

Why not? I would never take advantage of her, but 18 isn't unnacceptable to me.

[Craterus]

Fair points, but what kind of man in his 30's tries to have sex with a teenager, I mean actually walks into a club/coffee shop etc. and goes for a woman so much his junior?

As long as he intends to go about it the right way and treats her with respect, I don't really have a problem with it. As long as both parties are happy, it's nobody else's business.

I understand what you're saying and I imagine a fair proportion of the guys in relationships like that are pretty sleazy but I don't think an age-gap is something that is intrinsically wrong.

[Prussian to the Iron]

in adults, no an age gap is not wrong. my 45 year old mom and 36 year old dad have been together for 10(11?) years, and they've almost never had any problems. the problem is that a 30 year old going after a teenager is not only creepy, it would never be a real relationship.

even at 14 1/2 i can tell you it is hard to put up with teenage girls; they squeal and scream for no reason all the time. no way a 30 year old is going to have a relationship past sex with that.

[KukriKhan]

Back to "Should I"?

Andres's story is a good lesson to hear. I've been with a couple of 'crazies', and the biggest downside is that you're never allowed to be the crazy one. Everybody has to go a little nuts once in awhile; be irrational, emotional, temporarily childish. When you're with a crazy you never get that time, they get all the crazy attention, and you get to be "the rock". Over time you really do become the rock - humorless, all-business, hard - and eventually that "love" you had, when mixed with simmering resentment at being held back from life, turns into disgust and hatred. Or worse: apathy.

My recommendation: don't do that to yourself. Deep down, you already know what you truly want, or you wouldn't waste time asking "Should I"? I submit that your feelings for the ex spring more from your sense of duty, than from actual appeal. Hence the need for you two to take longs walks down Memory Lane to find feelings of happiness, cuz you're not happy now.

High marks for persistence and a highly-developed sense of duty. But I gotta give you an "F" if you entertain and keep the notion that you have any actual obligation to ex.

Wait... that's too harsh. Discover, then admit (to yourself) what you really want to do. Then do it. We'll all back you, whichever way you go.

Good luck.

[Strike For The South]

Back to "Should I"?

Andres's story is a good lesson to hear. I've been with a couple of 'crazies', and the biggest downside is that you're never allowed to be the crazy one. Everybody has to go a little nuts once in awhile; be irrational, emotional, temporarily childish. When you're with a crazy you never get that time, they get all the crazy attention, and you get to be "the rock". Over time you really do become the rock - humorless, all-business, hard - and eventually that "love" you had, when mixed with simmering resentment at being held back from life, turns into disgust and hatred. Or worse: apathy.

My recommendation: don't do that to yourself. Deep down, you already know what you truly want, or you wouldn't waste time asking "Should I"? I submit that your feelings for the ex spring more from your sense of duty, than from actual appeal. Hence the need for you two to take longs walks down Memory Lane to find feelings of happiness, cuz you're not happy now.

High marks for persistence and a highly-developed sense of duty. But I gotta give you an "F" if you entertain and keep the notion that you have any actual obligation to ex.

Wait... that's too harsh. Discover, then admit (to yourself) what you really want to do. Then do it. We'll all back you, whichever way you go.

Good luck.

You've got so much wisdom

Ever thought of applying as a grandfather?

[pevergreen]

KK: I do believe you are correct.

It has hit me since thursday, when, as Lemur can attest to, I was not well.

It did make me think. I'm hoping to see her (ex) soon and realise that she is nothing like the girl I remember. She doesnt look like it, and shes going downhill again. I can't let myself get drawn in.

I'll just try to be like STFS and it will all be good. I'll suddenly have 30 girls at once and a frenchman in the closet.

[Strike For The South]

I'll just try to be like STFS and it will all be good. I'll suddenly have 30 girls at once and a frenchman in the closet.

I'd imagine you're more well adjusted than me. I mean my day mostly consisits of going around the .Org seeking validation of the "cooler" posters.

My life is a warning to others

[KukriKhan]

Ever thought of applying as a grandfather?

LOL. Maybe just everybody's "Crazy Uncle Jimmy".

[pevergreen]

I am envious of the HoF award

Hey, nice sig.

[pevergreen]

Excuse the double post, but:

This thread is now one of pure happiness.


My thanks to all those who have pushed me away from crazy because she is goneskies.

I layed into her about everything. It was over the internet, but she came back with her counterpoints, which had no substance, and she fell to the mighty weight of the pever.

tl;dr Life is good, crazy ex will not be a factor ever again.

[Beefy187]

I wish her all the best. Some people change, others never do. I hope she is the former.

Now pever, good luck with your new fancy

[a completely inoffensive name]

Now that you are free let me tell you how to win at life.

1. Disregard Females.
2. Acquire currency.

You're welcome.

[LittleGrizzly]

My personal rule is a 4 year gap is the absolute max (3 year much prefered) with under 18's... though at 23 a 17 year old would be okay but im not sure about a 16 year old...

I forgotten what you should or shouldn't do so im going to go for you should!