KARTHADAST SENATE GOES HIGH ON WEEDS (Crazy Short Stories of The Kart-Hadastei)

[Rahwana]

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

yoi, Cute Wolf tukang bikin AAR yg paling gila!!!!

These stories make me Crazy to. Why do the romans would have help from the aliens?????

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

AAARRGGHHH!!! ORG GILA DI fORUM!!!! ORANG GILA!!!!!!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Karena dia bikinnya gila, daripada ntar dianggap ngejunk disini, mending diomongin di grup Indo sendiri yah... gw buatin rubrik khusus bwt bahas cerita - cerita gitu...

But anyway, this pic Rulez! That alien are frightening enough, but the comment are more frightening... It looks like the aliens were something like that title... conspiracy.... ouw.... you say this AAR is short stories, but I think this AAR become a really stranded with several plots and loopholes....

Such as when the cutewolf said that Hadrusbal is executed for ... but in his first story there was Hamalcar..... hehehe... allready found one loophole....

BTW

[Cute Wolf]

Lol the Karthadastei worship Pedobear as well??
A balloon for both Lykos and Jeb the dealer.

Thanks... now I want to drive out most coarse jokes here, and I need an Anti-Weed patron.... So I'll ask you about accepting your role as a youth who want to reform the morale of Kart-Hadast Government, Himilco... I'll give a background story befitting of you... are u accept or not? (The reason is I think I've gonna with Pedobear jokes too far.... Even now I think about Pedobear's position were replaced by Pikachu.... so basically you're pikachu cult leader.... ) Accept or not?

[Skullheadhq]

Sure, I'd like it, let's get those sodomizing senators

[Cute Wolf]

Ok guys, from this time, the Junkie faction led by Jebivjetar got a new challanger faction inspired by a Hellenic philoshoper that spread his influence over some of the cleaner members of the Kart-Hadastim... A Ballon for Skullheadq is given.... (Actually from this time on, I'll planning the coup'd etat on Pedobear, so the Baal-Pikachu that emphasizes cleaner life and better society lives on!)

White Heart Rising, The Liberation Of Rhegion.

"This morning, the sun has arisen... leaving a trail of beautiful red shine, goes up to the heaven, giving warmth and life to all the humanity... Uh, yeah... I think I was too carried off with those beautiful scenery outta here... Well, I am just thinking about the nature, whick I was soo long forgot from my childhood times because I was trapped in the weed addiction... But at least, thanks to the rarity of weeds here, and my academic mentor, Skullheadq, who spent a lot of his time in group counseling and he somehow cures my addiction... My consciousness is back, and my brain has become clear again... I am Himilco, your new leader here... in the mighty task to liberate the Rhegion from those Roman Deserters... Well, we've got some work to do, as we must hold our siege for some time, after Hamalcar was sentenced to death because the senate discovered his shameful secret..." Himilco said that to the soldiers that

gathers in the Rhagion countryside, most men are libyan veterans, with some Lucanians supporting.

"Yeas, I know that what treachery, or luck, goes in this mad scheme of global war and rivalry, as we just get a word that those Flying Sphagetti Monster worshipers, the Romans, has just sign the Alliance pact with Makedonia, and now, the Romans are seen sending their legions to battle the Epeirotes on the Behalf of their Makedonian allies now..."

"But not only that, because of that circumstance, the Romans seems to abandon their plan to capture Rhegion, and now we stand here, to liberate the city of Rhegion from those bandits and scoundrels, made of Roman deserters, to the wellness of the good citizens of Rhegion. Even though they maybe didn't welcome us well, I am very certain that one or two goodwill in the form of hanging Roman heads above Rhegion's plaza will bring the entire city to support us in this war... and as you can see... The Hellene kingom of Epeiros just recently sent their diplomat to ask for Alliance with us, If we didn't get Hamalcar as the governor of Messana that time, I'm sure that we'll accept their alliance, but with his cloudy brain and impaired morale, Hamalcar refuse those diplomats and start raping two of them... of course, his Immoral behaviours get the senate's attention, and he was quickly recalled and then sentenced to the death, boarding lone ship without anything else..."

"But lord... I heard that those new Issues... that Lord Hadrusbal also faced capital punishment... Is that true lord?" A man of Libyan-Iberian descend suddenly ask for that matter.

"I don't know... maybe the Senate has write the wrong name on their newspapers... let me see... I know that you just read the 'Lykos Daily News' but apparently, the writer made a mistake, and before he got any typo, the senate decide to just let the misinformation flows... it looks like that Hadrusbal also had some corruption problem in Iberia... if he doesn't clean that... I'm pretty sure, our junkie senate will throw the capital punishment on Hadrusbal too..." Himilco then replies.

"Ouw... capital punishment for everyone doing something wrong according to the Senate's morale? That's pretty nasty...." many soldiers grumbled hearing that unnerving news of how the Kart-Hadastim senate, now influenced under the benovalent rule of a weed lord, Jebivjetar.

"But I have a better Idea.... after this battle on Rhegion... I will tear down the Temple of Baal-Pedobear, and place Baal-Pikachu intead of that... Did you want to hear that interesting story on how I meet a prophet claiming that Pedobear is not Baal, and my mentor Skullheadq says that we should intead worship Baal-Pikachu?!? But first thing we should do is liberate Rhegions from the Romans and set a good government inside... then, I have a dream to bring a White Heart to all the Phoenicians, so they'll spent their time doing much useful things, not only just smoking weeds!"

"Onward my comrades... and today, we shall start our Assault on Rhegion!!!"

"First... Lucanians... sent out your javelins and pepper those filthy romans inside! Your skill should sent them running like frightened dogs, and most of their cowards shall abandon their duty to defend the breaches, so our comrades can have much better deal in melee against them.."

"Oh yes... I allready heard that those cowards run away from their walls..... Now Comrades.... take the gate with our ram! Hey... don't be confused with that goat... look for those wooden rams with frames.... hey... don't place the wrong point to ram!"

"Well, the gate is broken comrades! Let's assault the breach and cut down everyone that lies inside... remember, this is a liberation mission, every kind of rape, pillage, and thievery will be harshly punished by capital punishment by hanging upside down and throwing cactus on that criminal.... don't harm the civilians! and spare everyone that surrender!"

After some hard time together pushing those Roman deserters, Himilco's troops finally get the vital chokepoint to push the Rhegion occupation force's leader, Avulvs, to surrender himself...

"We've come to liberate this war-torn city... just drop your weapon and you'll be spared!"

"Nonsense... You must be one that the Pedobear sent to annihilate us, or the Flying Sphagetti Monster sent you to punish us!"

"No... I disapprove both of those evil gods... I worship one True God... The Baal-Pikachu.... I dissaprove cruelty to anyone and we should do this as peacefully as possible..."

"Really? So you worship the Merciful Baal-Pikachu too? Oh.... Sure! We've friends afterall... I personally loathe those Romaioi Barbaroi!"

"Huh... so you are..."

"A hellen, more precisely, half Hellen - half Roman.... As my father did counterfeit his ID card to marry my mother, and act as if he was a Roman...."

"Ok.... everyone.... stop fighting..... we've at peace now.... now treat the wounded and give the civilians an explaination of today's actions... we're stop fighting now... as those men also worship Baal-Pikachu...."

And so... after that liberation battles, everyone who assumed dead in the battle, mostly are just knocked out and treated in the hospital, and both Avlvs and Himilco is seen talking something about the recent Politics between them... It looks like they had share a mentor, named Skullheadq, who emphasize humanitarian and social values, as well as worshipping the merciful Baal-Pikachu.... what lies next... History will tell...

Part 05 Finished

[Skullheadhq]

Indeed, worship Baal-Pikachu or BURN!

[Ludens]

Sure, I'd like it, let's get those sodomizing senators

Mind the language rules, please.

[Jebivjetar]

so no more Baal-Pedobear?
well, every god has his end sooner or later, i guess...

[Mr Polska]

I'm sure there's room for both...

[Rahwana]

Why Baal-Pikachu, not Baal-Blaziken or Baal-Empoleon?

[Cute Wolf]

Well - well, I remove Baal-Pedobear on the scene gradually (Part 6 & Part 7 are the coup'd etat chapters), and Part 8 are the Burning of Barbaropolis..... or some kind of barbaropolis destruction by Jebivjetar-led army squad... Actually, I used Pedobear as comparison with Kart-Hadast's rumoured child sacrifice rituals, but then, the Rituals become soon obsolete, and I want to emphazise the removal of those inhumane rituals, by removing Baal-Pedobear and replace him with Baal-Pikachu, of course both are claimed to be the one true baal....

Why Baal-Pikachu, not Baal-Blaziken or Baal-Empoleon?

Pikachu = Thunderbolt, Thunder, Quick Attack, Double Team
without any TM used, if equipped with light ball, could become moar powerful

With Blaziken, you need Flamethrower TM, and With Empoleon, you'll be easily electrocuted with my Pikachu! Pikachu rules!

[Ice]

This thread is disturbing on so many levels.

[the man with no name]

Speaking of pot, i found out today that when i went trick or treating i got a candy called Mary Jane I intend to put a picture of it on here, on my facebook, and on failblog.

[Skullheadhq]

This thread is disturbing on so many levels.

So dont read it, Mr Ice.
You don't have to read it if you don't like aliens, Pedobears, Pokemon and pot.

[Rahwana]

So dont read it, Mr Ice.
You don't have to read it if you don't like aliens, Pedobears, Pokemon and pot.

Actually, this AAR is about over satirizing jokes mix with crazy comments and well, some will say - rude jokes, because the writer in the last month got something awful, culminating in the last week and until today, I think he still need to cool his head because of his broken heart. Good things he doesn't talk about the very topic that made him this mad openly...

[Cute Wolf]

This thread is disturbing on so many levels.

Well, I hope you'll like the part 5 forward, as I will try to use much cleaner jokes, but will be as funny

Actually, this AAR is about over satirizing jokes mix with crazy comments and well, some will say - rude jokes, because the writer in the last month got something awful, culminating in the last week and until today, I think he still need to cool his head because of his broken heart. Good things he doesn't talk about the very topic that made him this mad openly...

Oh! You owe me two can of Beer for that!

[Ice]

So dont read it, Mr Ice.
You don't have to read it if you don't like aliens, Pedobears, Pokemon and pot.

Skullhead,

-I read Cute Wolf's first couple posts and did not read the rest of thread. I only know of this thread because he announced it in the backroom. I suppose you would call it morbid curiosity.
-I like aliens
-Can't say I like Pedobaears and Pokemon
-I enjoy cannabis (btw, when you say "high on weeds" you sound rather stupid)

That is all, but hey thanks for the suggestions.

[Skullheadhq]

Skullhead,

-I read Cute Wolf's first couple posts and did not read the rest of thread. I only know of this thread because he announced it in the backroom. I suppose you would call it morbid curiosity.
-I like aliens
-Can't say I like Pedobaears and Pokemon
-I enjoy cannabis (btw, when you say "high on weeds" you sound rather stupid)

That is all, but hey thanks for the suggestions.

kay, always glad to help.

[G. Septimus]

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

hehahahaha, Good pic

[Skullheadhq]

Lazy Wolf, we need an update NOW!

[Cute Wolf]

The Grim Truth

"Lord Jebivjetar.... Our spy just get a new report from Barbaropolis.... quick, take a look!" A frightful messenger suddenly broke into Jebivjetar's private mansion.

"What did you carry? A new girl who give those Roman senatores a handjob accidentally pull that thing too hard and amputate the old senator?" Jebivjetar replied when he's still half conscious.

"No lord... it's about us... the allmighty lord Baal-Pedobear!!!! Please look lord.... It was emergency news!!!"

"Let me see....."

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

"OH MAN WHAT THE **** IS GOING ON!!!" Jebivjetar suddenly snapped out of his confusion, realize the figure that shown before him...

"Well, lord... according to our intelligence there... we spot Baal-Pedobear appear out of the thin air in the middle of the Roman forums... then an alien saucer descends and some of them then greet the Baal-Pedobear. And at first we didn't believe what did we see... Baal-Pedobear then rips his upper body's kin and reveal that he was actually Marcus Vanilla... rumoured as the second in command of the Flying Sphagetii Monster...

"Ouw.... ****.... are you sure this was a real Baal-Pedobear? I still don't believe it... well, I want to get some contact with Himilco!!! at least he was positioned near the Romans so we can get some background information for this grim truth... Servant!!!! Give me my cell-phone!!!"

"And now... where is that damn phone....!!!!"

Now, we leave the scene of shocked Jebivjetar for some sight in the Himilco's perspective, there, at the Rhegion, he has suceeded to built a temple for the Baal-Pikachu... apparently the Real Baal because he let his worshippers enter him and praise him from the inside. Meanwhile, at the same site, the grand philloshoper Skullheadq arrive, gaining much fame immediately. And he start preaching about philoshopy, loves, and peace...

Just a bit far from Rhegion, Himilco is seen at the Syrakousai's edge... oveersee the construction of some siege engines. There, he planned to assault Syrakousai and avenge his uncle, Hamalcar...

The battle, as usual, starts with missile duels between Numidian archers and the remaining Syrakousan resistance... many victims fell in both side, but those prolonged exposure has is use to protect the Kart-Hadast assault infantry from their arrows.

"Men... Bring the towers and scale the walls! It's time to them to taste our steel and our sweats!" and two gigantic siege tower was pushed to the walls and the Iberians start scale the walls. Very soon, they reach their destination, and put a quick work on all defenders that was parked on the walls. At the very same time, the Libyans has sucessfully undermine a section of the walls and gaining enterance, thus trapping most of the Syrakousan Soldiers trapped on top of their walls, facing a lot of pissed off Iberians.

The Libyan quickly take advantage of the ensuing chaos and push themself to drove the last "real" Syrakousai defenders, as well as gaining firm foothold at the Syrakousai. After bloody fights that has greatly weaken the Syrakousi Hoplitai, Himilco and his bodyguards charge forward and drove out the defenders running to their town center. Not a surprise to see many of them screaming with fears, seddned by the prospects of getting their families killed and their pets raped, as they allready know the tale of Hamalcar's madness.

Himilco just running into the Town Square where he found Hiero kneels and beg mercy on him. "Please young one... let us life... we'll become your slaves, but please... at least, spare the women and childrens... just take us, the men, who carry on the fight everything we must face..." That words from the old Hiero touch Himilco deeply... and without his control, he start shedding out tears, remember about the casualities on his side too.

"Old man... today, I won't kill anymore of you, nor loot anything from you... Just give me mere 1203 minai to get the governmental system installed again, and we did not want to do any harm to your property, just accept that you are now conquered, but I do envy that you once drove out my uncle's men. That's all, for the Baal-Pikachu is merciful and fell everyone's pain and passion. So I must equal His mercy and passion."

"huh... you... you... worship.... Baal-Pikachu.... NOT BAAL-PEDOBEAR!?!.... Oh thanks Zeus... at least today we've spared from utter destruction, that Baal-Pedobear usually get in his path of Madness.... let me tell you, young one... I'll reveal to you a secret, that's origin is thousands of years ago... abut how Baal-Pedobear get the rightful position of Baal-Pikachu, and start the evil old-Religion of yourself, that has a lot of Child abuse, sexual orgy, and much more despicable deeds."

"But first, we must treat the wounded and bury the victims of war..."

"Oh yeah... we'll help as much as we can... but this night... come to my palace and I shall reveal you the truth..."

And then, that day's carnage is over... allthough some of the soldiers grumbled about the lack of women and loot, they're at least relieved now that instead of getting paid by loots, Himilco start to paid the soldiers in a fixed rate of wage each season. And because of the lack of women, some syrakousan aritsts were ordered to create a big picture of naked women, and let the soldiers jerking off on top of that picture... partially statisfy teh need of women.

Suddenly after some times seeing the green scenery on the countryside (rather than seeing thousands men jerking off), Hamalcar feels something vibrated under his clothes...

"Rrrrr.... rrrrrr...... rrr...."

"Oh... my cell phone.... who the heck calling me this time? Oh... It's lord Jebivjetar... maybe he want to give another shipload of weed... but for the goodness' sake, I'll refuse that this time..." And Hamalcar press the off button.

"Holy ****! that kid turn off the Phone..." a loud swears are heard in all Kart-Hadast and Atiqa.

"I better get myself on the truth now, better meet with Hiero now..." Hamalcar talk to himself and quickly rode his horse toward Hiero's palace.

As soon as possible, he see the old Basileus of Syrakousai sit in front of the Town center, and after some formal talks, the two now goes downstairs to a secreat chamber, full of hieroglyphic artifacts and modern tools, that apparently out of use because lack of electricity...

"Woow, I never tought that I'll see those things in this age... men... it was soo cool..."

"Silence young one... now, we'll see the secret of The Gods... about our god, that unluckily we also share with those romaioi barbaroi, Zeus Ivpiter The Tesla Trooper, and your true god, that is Baal-Raichu..."

"Raichu? What the... wait, Ash ketchum never envolve his Pikachu..."

"Damn! Forgot those Pokemon story, aren't you know that the entire Pokemon series was based on a true event such as this..." and Hiero shown Himilco a really shocking Image of ancient war of the Gods.

"As you can see, Zeus Ivpiter is a tesla trooper, and he gains his power in two ways, either he use coals and oils to get his generators running, or let Baal-Raichu charges them... And before that time Happened, Marcus Vanilla is the deputy of Flying Sphagetti monsters that gain a lot of control to a barbarian Tribe of the not so far north, the Romaioi... And as they build their most nasty plot, Mercus Vanilla was sent to deal with our electric type-gods, as you can see, Marcus Vanilla allready absorbed Ursaring, and Marcus Vanilla itself is Psychic-type god. So, the Normal-Psychic type vs two Electric type. Nobody had an advantage by type, but despite outnumbered, Marcus Vanilla's level are too high to tackle."

"The battle is long, but this was merely a battle for survival for our two gods... as Marcus Vanilla's Barbarus Psi wave finally fainted our gods. The Zeus Ivpiter admit his defeat, and Marcus Vanilla spare him, but the Baal-Raichu refuse to surrender and at try to sacrifice himself with using his last power to do a volt tackle against Marcus Vanilla. As you can see, the volt tackle does work, but instead of Killing him... Marcus Vanilla sent out a curse and devolve Baal-Raichu into Baal-Pikacu... as he knows that only one more Thunderstone exist in this universe."

"......." Hamalcar stand spechless at the relevation of what really happened...

And at the same time, Skullheadq want to tell the truth on Jebivjetar, and relase The Pikachu from his personal pokeball, than the little pikachu found his way up to jebivjetar's palace...

"What's this rodent want to do in my palace!!!! Servant..! Kill it!!!" Jebivjetar ordered his unlucky servants to smack the Pikachu with anything, but despite desperate attempt to smack him, the Pikachu simply knock out the servants one by one with his thundershock. And the angered Jebivjetar then forcefully grab Pikachu with his hands, try to neglect the pain caused by the sting of electricity (partially because he was high that time).

But the Pikachu repeatedly said "Please believe me Jebivjetar... I'm the real Baal... Please believe me.... The Baal-Pedobear is trying to use you for his own evil scheme..... PIKA!!!!"

"What you say rodent... all mumbling pikipika chupikipi chu kachupi pikapika chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu pikapika kachu chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu pikapika chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu pikapi pikapika chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu chukipi chu pikapika chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu pikapika chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu pipi pikapika chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu pikapika chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu pikapika chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu pikapika chu chukapi... speak clearly you...."

And what will happened next? You can guess...

Part 06 finished

[Jebivjetar]

ok i think i have to do some brain self-surgery because some cells in my head explode while i read this. great job, Wolf and thank you!

[Rahwana]

Marcus Vanilla fused with Pedobear? Or did Pedobear doesn't exist at all (just the fictive character that Marcus Vanilla create? Or did Pedobear was the Alter ego of Marcus Vanilla? It goes too confusing...


I confused and laugh all the way.....

[Cute Wolf]

Marcus Vanilla fused with Pedobear? Or did Pedobear doesn't exist at all (just the fictive character that Marcus Vanilla create? Or did Pedobear was the Alter ego of Marcus Vanilla? It goes too confusing...


I confused and laugh all the way.....

Just follow the storyline.... and now I announce that Chapter 7 will reveal any plot behind....

Just support Baal-Pikachu in his quest with Jebivjetar, Skullheadq, and Himilco to found the Thunderstone and restore his greatness!!!

Oh yeah.... Part 8 is the destruction of Barbaropolis, or some kind of it....

[gamegeek2]

I can lend random Aramaic, if that's wanted. Even though the Qarthadastim spoke Punic :D

[Rahwana]

I can lend random Aramaic, if that's wanted. Even though the Qarthadastim spoke Punic :D

Just curious, what kind of Aramaic swearing that Jebivjetar and Skullhedq will use on their adventures?

[Duguntz]

"Well, just don't said that to those Sweboz ambassador who resides near there, as he often said STOP BABY BURNING!!! And then randomly club some libyan slaves to the dead... well, the Sweboz ambassador are quite eccentric."

"Yes, yes... I know him... as he often take a walk on the Grand Bazzar with nothing, just paint his body all black, and...."

Sweboz ambassador, laying on his spiked club, red from lybian blood, standing behind their back : HEM HEM... Do I bother you, my ''Lord''? Or maybe my manner bothers you (sais he, tapping his club from the tip of his fingers!) i can help you fulfilling your duty regarding baal-pedobear... with the tip of this spiked club, for example...

[Cute Wolf]

Heheh... It looks like you have to wear your pants first sir, because we doen't guarantee if your little jhonny was impaled or sliced. After that, if you want to join our force to defeat the Aliens, maybe you should get your heavy chainmail and fight as Thanoz Druguloz, rather than Wothiz Watha...

============================================

Udate coming next sunday... Part 7: Impostor Down Syndrome, What the...

[Duguntz]

Heheh... It looks like you have to wear your pants first sir, because we doen't guarantee if your little jhonny was impaled or sliced. After that, if you want to join our force to defeat the Aliens, maybe you should get your heavy chainmail and fight as Thanoz Druguloz, rather than Wothiz Watha...

============================================

Udate coming next sunday... Part 7: Impostor Down Syndrome, What the...

To wear clothes would mean renounce to the cult of fertility of Freja, deity wich we feast by the solemn (and somewhat pleasant) orgy ritual and honor her by running nude on the front line!

YES BROTHERS, let's show those barbaroi that it's not the lenght, but how we use it that count... (ups, wrong speach) hem hem...

We shall join your cause and together, we shall end the Alien dominion over this world and impose the rule of Kart-Hadast (who, we are sure, will gracefully remember the Sweboz contribution and thanks them with generosity)

We shall hold concel between the Sweboz chiefs to know weather or not we shall put on cowardly armours, but conveniant for the sight of our allies, or if we shall run on the path of heroism and shout NO to the clothes oppression.
We shall keep you informed from the later decision about that matter.

With all consideration, dear ally, we hope to join our forces to yours and together vinquish the Barbaroi.

Respect
Duguntz, sweboz ambassador

[Skullheadhq]

So, to made something clear, I disapprove the usage of weeds because they'll made someone start blurbing crazy stuff

So, that's the fun of it, right?
WHOOOPS!
*Philosopher voice on*
And remember children, DONT DO DRUGS!

[Duguntz]

What you say to your children when comes the (inevitable) discussion on weed if you already did (or still do) :

Weed? pfff, you smoke some, and you laugh, you laugh, you laugh, everything is funny!
Then you eat, eat, eat : everything is sooo good
then you're sooo relax, relax
and after you sleep soooooo well...

but don't do drug, it's bad