MAN MARRIES VIDEO GAME

Yes, it has finally happened. And you know who I blame? I blame the Socialist Democrat Liberal agenda. They're here to destroy all that's right and decent with the world! Danged hippies.

Not satisfied with the gay marriage, now the liberals are dead set on making sure that people can marry inanimate objects. Well I won't stand for it I tells ya. They'll rue this day! Everyone knows that marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman, or his wives, or someone he got drunk with in Vegas. But now that the gays are getting married, well, now people will be marrying everything, including the kitchen sink. Now that you mention it, the sink is pretty awesome-looking.

Besides, everyone knows that the only proper marriage involving an inanimate object is between a man and one of those futuristic robots. This creep didn't even wait for the robots to be manufactured, he had to jump on the digital dating bandwagon prematurely. Well quite honestly, this pushes all my buttons.

Let's hope, for her sake, that this man knows just how to push hers.