Lifestyle choices for the immortal

[KukriKhan]

I'm 59 in a month. Four years past Dad, 10 years past Grandpa. Twenty years past Jerimiah C., the guy who braved the seas to come to the new world from Cork County, Ireland.

The stats are against me: smoker, beer-drinker, 40 pounds heavier than I was 20 years ago.

Two questions:

1: Should I try to change my lifestyle (smokin', drinkin') at this late stage? To try to last longer?

2: What should I do to protect my family against my loss?

Real input, please. Condolences appreciated but not required. I ain't dead yet. I wonder what advice backroomers have for an old guy.

"Just Die" will be OK from the TB Tavern crowd. :)

[Louis VI the Fat]

**** you just gave me a heartattack. I saw the title and thought you were announcing you had cancer or some such and came to say goodbye.


Erm, it's never too late to change bad habits.

[CrossLOPER]

1. Unless you want to maintain your current chances of dying, yes.

2. Life insurance, will...

Dude I'm 21.

[pevergreen]

I could quote my favourite line about death from futurama?

If you enjoy drinking and smoking, don't stop. I personally don't think stopping now would give you extra time.

Maybe start putting aside for the funeral, plan it out, update the will and so forth.

59 is still young. I work with a man who is mid sixties, smoker, drinker etc. Big heavy man too. He still works...somehow.

You'll be right, you got another 20 years left in you yet, soldier.

[Major Robert Dump]

I know quite a few men at your age who have kept their "secret" of being in poor physical condition and lived their life as normal, then when they suddenly die of daibetes or cancer and when everyone finds out why, the doctor says "I told the dude 5 years ago he was dying and he made his choices." I can only assume they kept the "secret" to protect their family from financial and emotional distress.

You are the age of my father. At my father's rate, he will outlive me. So unless you know of some underlying health issue that will bankrupt your family fi treated and probably end in death anyway, I say change your lifestyle. It may save you money, and at the least it will give you a new hobby.

I think a few extra, painless years to watch the world unfold is worth the lifestyle change. That being said, though, were I to find out I had inoperable or overly expensice medicle issues, I would let nature takes its course and when things got too painful put a bullet through my heart. I am not being crass, this is something I have thought long and hard over as the men in my family have a long history of old-age long term inllness which broke the kids, and my work as an EMT pretty much reinforced my beliefs when I saw multiple aspects of the situation.

I will not end up in a nursing home, and I will not end up having people mourn over my deterioration. While I understand this may be in conflict with what the mdedical industry, the drug companies and Christians believe, it is better to burn out than fade away.

That being said, shame on your post title, you scared me to death

[Crazed Rabbit]

You worried me, Kukri.

My Grandmother, still alive and in her late 70s, has smoked for over 50 years. So you can live quite a while even with 'bad' habits.

But why not consider stopping the drinking and smoking and spending the money on something new? Seems to me there's no reason we ought to stop experiencing new stuff just because we get advanced in years. It doesn't have to be a chore to quit doing one thing; it can be a way to experience different things.

My dad started running after I joined the high school cross country team. He was in his fifties and had never really 'run' outside of playing soccer years ago.

But it became a new hobby, and this spring he ran in the Boston Marathon.

CR

[KukriKhan]

Sorry, fellas (esp Louis). I didn't mean to scare. Pushing 60, one gets to wondering, and appreciating, the finer things in LIFE.

I wondered if my fellow backroomers had thoughts about end-of-life issues, we here being more accustomed to (alive) directing the deaths of others - if merely digitally.

[seireikhaan]

Good grief, this sorta thread alarms me.

My dad is 59, smoked a pipe for years before he developed a reaction to smoke, is overweight, and has diabetes. Plus, he works his arse off, doing many more hours than most to earn his income. Kukri, you in many ways mirror him. This sort of idea frankly frightens me. However, I don't think its too late, never too late.

1) On smoking- its never too late to quit. I know in Iowa, smoking taxes are quite prohibitive, and make the habit even more of a burden. In Cali, I wouldn't be surprised if it was even more so. Quitting would be a boon to the wallet as well as health, if you could manage it.

2) On drinking- if you lessen it a bit, its, again, a boon to the wallet as well as health. Not advocating quitting, of course- a bit of alcohol here and there is shown to be at least neutral, if not beneficial to health.

3) The AVERAGE age of life in the US is around 76 for males. AVERAGE. I don't think, Kukri, you qualify as definitively worse than average. Bearing in mind, the average age takes into account people born into bad 'hoods who die early to senseless violence and those that pay ultimate sacrifice abroad in service to the country. Actual age, taking out early death from violence and war, is probably a touch higher, even.

4) So no, in summary, its NOT too early to change habits. Especially smoking. It does no good to you, financially or physically. My mother quit at the age of 56, and she's a pansy. I'm sure you can do the same. Drinking can be lessened, of course, but no need for prohibition, certainly. As for protecting your family, the best thing I can think of is- make sure they know that anything can happen. Life insurance, regardless of likelyhood, is good as well, of course, assuming the premiums aren't burdensome. Emotionally, I think you know them better than any of us possibly could- go with the gut.

To echo the other posters, shame, Kukri! You had me very worried.

[SwordsMaster]

See, Kukri, things go right until they go wrong. My grandfather smoked for 45 years, gave up for 10, then was diagnosed with cancer.

I would say you should definitely try to get rid of the extra weight, it's not good for your heart, and it seems your heart is already dealing with enough pressure, switch your drinking to wine instead of spirits or beer (half a bottle a day will help your digestion, ask Louis), and try to cut down on the smoking if you can.

Generally, life expectancy in the US is around 75 years for white males, so you should still have a few years of statistical home advantage.

There is no need of giving up things you enjoy, but can you really 'enjoy' smoking 2 packs a day? I switched to cigars a long time ago, and find that I smoke much less, maybe a cigar every couple of weeks where I used to smoke 2 packs in 3 days, firstly because they're more expensive, and secondly, because I enjoy the ritual of smoking them and don't want to give a few hurried puffs during my coffee break...

Perhaps what you should also consider is a dietary modification. More fruits and veggies, and chicken and fish instead of pork. I made it a rule to eat less pork, and everytime I do I must run 3k. I enjoy my irish breakfasts, but that means a 3k sweat after.

As far as caring for the family, write down a will. A common mistake is to leave no specification as to what to do with our property if it is rejected or unable to be passed to the one person you have willed it to, so cover those eventualities, also cover medical situations (resuscitation, decision making in case you're unable to, etc), and feel free to impose any conditions you wish upon the receipt of the benefits. Like your granddaughter will only get your car if she graduates with honours, or is married before 19, or can drink a full bottle of scotch in half an hour. No reason you can't have a last chuckle.

[Vuk]

Well, I am only 20 (21 this Christmas ), so I may not be able to appreciate your situation. I like to think that when I am 60 though I will just want to keep living life as normal, while struggling to live better as I have through my life. I would not go worrying about dying though, you may still have 20 or more years ahead of you.

[Vladimir]

That reminds me of a trick my dad pulled once. First he tells my brother "I'm dying" and my brother reacted the same way as most people in this thread. When he told me, I responded with "We all are." He wasn't serious, but I was.

I won't quote Braveheart but there is a line which makes sense. Live while you're alive. Don't assume you'll die in a certain age range. Keep moving forward and enjoy it.

[Sasaki Kojiro]

I would just try to smoke a little less, drink a little less, eat a little healthier, and get a bit more exercise. Then see how it goes from there.

My grandfather played 18 holes of a golf every sunday and was pretty spry at 95.

[A Very Super Market]

Well..... It's all random.

Both my grandfathers, chain smokers. Both lived at some point in their lives in post-war China. One was a rich customs official, one was a coal miner, soldier, farmer, and labourer. Both died in their early 60s of lung cancer.

But my great-grandfather, who lived in even worse conditions, only died a year ago, at 89. So who knows, really. If you believe that you are harming yourself, that your habits are detrimental, then try and stop. If you don't mind, then you have no reason too.

I've no understanding of your situation, at the spry age of 15. Death is an entirely alien concept to me. I wasn't there to see my relatives go, no pets to send off to the farm. So I guess I figure that if you think it was worth it, then it probably was.

[Samurai Waki]

Well if it makes you feel any better, my Great G-Ma lived to the ripe old age of 102. Smoker since she was 16, drinker until at least her 80s, and a tad overweight. Three time cancer survivor (and this was back in the 30's when she was first diagnosed) don't ask me how she managed to live as long as she did, because I know her physician is probably still scratching his head. Your checkout ticket comes when it comes; especially when you get into your 60s. My dad, one of the healthiest, toughest men I knew, he could out-bench me and half the team when he coached the Linemen; died without cause or reason at 58... (Officially his heart went out on him, but he never had a history of heart related problems, and his last checkup which was only like three months before said his heart was perfectly healthy).

If it would make you feel better about your situation, I'd say quit the smoking. But it shouldn't have any bearing on whether or not you think you'll live longer because of it, you should do it because you want to, a Doctor ain't gonna make you quit.

[ICantSpellDawg]

Sorry, fellas (esp Louis). I didn't mean to scare. Pushing 60, one gets to wondering, and appreciating, the finer things in LIFE.

I wondered if my fellow backroomers had thoughts about end-of-life issues, we here being more accustomed to (alive) directing the deaths of others - if merely digitally.

Spend time with your kids and be nicer to your wife. Build things and don't work too hard while at work.

You are on borrowed time. Just don't feel like you are missing out, you could have been dead 10 or 20 years ago, but because of modern circumstance you are still here to get better at the stuff you like to do and share your experiences with others.

Just remember, anything you don't get to do in your prime you will be able to do by playing video games when you are too old to move around.

I've thought about death quite a bit, but I'm still here and I'm just tryng to take it easier. No rush to do anything in particular, try not to stress about life passing me by, just trying to enjoy it.

[Papewaio]

Write a bucket list. Then go for it.

Spend time with the grandkids.
They are the payoff for all the hardwork of a lifetime.
Think long term (http://www.longnow.org/). It helps to put things into perspective I find.
Play more of your favourite games.
Visit the real sites of the TW battles.
Get healthy, can't reverse age, but you can make it nicer to yourself.

My granddad broke his leg at 72 skiing Whistler. Went on to his early eighties, had a hard life and was a hard drinker. Not the nicest person in the world, but he did grab life by the throat.

[Megas Methuselah]

I'm 59 in a month. Four years past Dad, 10 years past Grandpa. Twenty years past Jerimiah C., the guy who braved the seas to come to the new world from Cork County, Ireland.

The stats are against me: smoker, beer-drinker, 40 pounds heavier than I was 20 years ago.

Two questions:

1: Should I try to change my lifestyle (smokin', drinkin') at this late stage? To try to last longer?

2: What should I do to protect my family against my loss?

Real input, please. Condolences appreciated but not required. I ain't dead yet. I wonder what advice backroomers have for an old guy.

"Just Die" will be OK from the TB Tavern crowd. :)

Lucius Cornelius Sulla was never given the chance to prove himself until he was 50, whereafter he went on to make history. You're 59? So what? You can still pack a good 30 years on your life. Spend time with and love your grandchildren, tell them your mistakes in life, write your memoirs, and be the best family man that you can be. In all honesty, enjoy life and leave your mark in the world, just as you would at any other age.

[Whacker]

Add yet another "Dammit you scared me!" to the list.

I'd say three things.

First, write a bucket list, and get on it.

Second, listen to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imsm-jIjVio , and then follow the advice. I turned 30 this year, ended up hearing that randomly at one point and thought it made a lot of sense. I'd submit the same applies to you, look forward to another 30 years. Drink a bit more lemonade and not as much beer. Forgive old grudges. Maybe call some old friends you haven't talked to in years/decades. Go about your life and treat others how you'd want to be treated, to the best of your ability.

Third, find out what your family thinks about you aging. Discuss it openly with them sometime. I've already made it very, very clear to both my parents that it will cause serious, painful rifts if they hide things from me, especially about their health or well-being. I think my sister thinks the same way. This is one area that for me, not knowing would be far, far more painful that knowing and dealing with some of the stress. So... consider talking it over with them, rather than just making the decision yourself. It IS your life, but you mean the world to your family, and remember that being family doesn't always require one to share the same blood.

Edit - Someone change the damn topic to something far less alarming already.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

I'm 59 in a month. Four years past Dad, 10 years past Grandpa. Twenty years past Jerimiah C., the guy who braved the seas to come to the new world from Cork County, Ireland.

The stats are against me: smoker, beer-drinker, 40 pounds heavier than I was 20 years ago.

Two questions:

1: Should I try to change my lifestyle (smokin', drinkin') at this late stage? To try to last longer?

2: What should I do to protect my family against my loss?

Real input, please. Condolences appreciated but not required. I ain't dead yet. I wonder what advice backroomers have for an old guy.

"Just Die" will be OK from the TB Tavern crowd. :)

My father is nearly your age, but he quit smoking when I was 2 (21 years ago) and he went on a health kick in his 40's, which was the age Grandfather died at.

On the other hand, one of my officers when I was a cadet has a history in his family of dieing of massive sudden heart attacks at the age of 46, regardless of lifestyle. He has his at 48 and survived.

So, I don't know.

[Andres]

I'm 59 in a month. Four years past Dad, 10 years past Grandpa. Twenty years past Jerimiah C., the guy who braved the seas to come to the new world from Cork County, Ireland.

The stats are against me: smoker, beer-drinker, 40 pounds heavier than I was 20 years ago.

Two questions:

1: Should I try to change my lifestyle (smokin', drinkin') at this late stage? To try to last longer?

2: What should I do to protect my family against my loss?

Real input, please. Condolences appreciated but not required. I ain't dead yet. I wonder what advice backroomers have for an old guy.

"Just Die" will be OK from the TB Tavern crowd. :)

You scared the out of me. One more thread like this and it will be my death that's being announced here

For point 2: : I don't want to sound harsh, but I think you should have done that already. If you didn't, then it's probably too late. A 60 yr old smoker and drinker with overweight won't get decent conditions for a life insurance.

Point 1: : I'm not a doctor, but if you have been smoking up til now, you already have done a lot of damage. Maybe you'll live a bit longer by quitting, it certainly wouldn't harm, I'm just wondering if it's worth the trouble at your age. If you're lucky, you are like one of my grandfathers, who smoked and drank heavily and died at the age of 89. If you're less lucky, you live as healthy as humanly possible and die at the age of 59-12, like my wifes' mother.

I would start to take it easy on the work department of your life. If you're working full time now and if it's financially doable, go for part-time and use the extra free time to do the things you like or the things you always wanted to do.

You're still in a decent condition now, I assume, so if you want to travel to a certain place, it's probably now or never. Or just use the extra free time to spend more time with your wife, children, grandchildren, friends (read: with us here at the Org ), playing games, enjoy a cup of coffee on a sunny morning and just keep sitting in your chair, reading the newspaper or a book until lunch time, etc.

[Furunculus]

I know quite a few men at your age who have kept their "secret" of being in poor physical condition and lived their life as normal, then when they suddenly die of daibetes or cancer and when everyone finds out why, the doctor says "I told the dude 5 years ago he was dying and he made his choices." I can only assume they kept the "secret" to protect their family from financial and emotional distress.

You are the age of my father. At my father's rate, he will outlive me. So unless you know of some underlying health issue that will bankrupt your family fi treated and probably end in death anyway, I say change your lifestyle. It may save you money, and at the least it will give you a new hobby.

I think a few extra, painless years to watch the world unfold is worth the lifestyle change. That being said, though, were I to find out I had inoperable or overly expensice medicle issues, I would let nature takes its course and when things got too painful put a bullet through my heart. I am not being crass, this is something I have thought long and hard over as the men in my family have a long history of old-age long term inllness which broke the kids, and my work as an EMT pretty much reinforced my beliefs when I saw multiple aspects of the situation.

I will not end up in a nursing home, and I will not end up having people mourn over my deterioration. While I understand this may be in conflict with what the mdedical industry, the drug companies and Christians believe, it is better to burn out than fade away.

That being said, shame on your post title, you scared me to death

agreed with MRD.

[Fragony]

Scared the crap out of me for a moment

edit, hmmm that wasn't very original.

[Subotan]

Keep doing stuff. Continue working, volunteer at a charity shop etc. Worst thing you could do would be to sit at home with pipe/slippers/newspaper, waiting for the grandchildren to come around and occasionally popping out to the post office for some milk.

[InsaneApache]

Well mate, what to say? Remember that day you looked in the mirror and suddenly realised that you are going to die! After my heart attack last year I did an awful lot of reflecting. An awful lot. It's funny isn't it that as you get older you find more reasons to want to live. Grandkids etc, etc.

By all means stop smoking, cut down on the pop, eat more healty foods but never forget that it's quality, not quantity of life that counts. After all, we all got to die of summat.

On the smoking malaky, my great uncle died about a decade ago. He'd smoked since he left school, at 14, he smoked when being dive bombed at Dunkirk, he smoked when he was sent off to Mesopotamia to quell the rebellion there. He smoked in the western desert fighting Rommel. He even smoked in the soggy Italian campaign. No, what did for him was being persuaded to stop smoking at age 94. It made him miserable. Like he said, he'd smoked for 80 years and he missed it. He died four months later. I'm convinced that stopping killed him as it made him depressed and sad.

There's a moral there if you care to look for it.

[pevergreen]

Come to Australia.

Everything will be better after a holiday.

[Furunculus]

Well mate, what to say? Remember that day you looked in the mirror and suddenly realised that you are going to die! After my heart attack last year I did an awful lot of reflecting. An awful lot. It's funny isn't it that as you get older you find more reasons to want to live. Grandkids etc, etc.

By all means stop smoking, cut down on the pop, eat more healty foods but never forget that it's quality, not quantity of life that counts. After all, we all got to die of summat.

On the smoking malaky, my great uncle died about a decade ago. He'd smoked since he left school, at 14, he smoked when being dive bombed at Dunkirk, he smoked when he was sent off to Mesopotamia to quell the rebellion there. He smoked in the western desert fighting Rommel. He even smoked in the soggy Italian campaign. No, what did for him was being persuaded to stop smoking at age 94. It made him miserable. Like he said, he'd smoked for 80 years and he missed it. He died four months later. I'm convinced that stopping killed him as it made him depressed and sad.

There's a moral there if you care to look for it.

agreed, my granddad hit eighty six before he bought the farm, and that was with a similar smoking history.

[Pannonian]

You scared the out of me. One more thread like this and it will be my death that's being announced here

It's not a nice thing to read considering that someone I chatted with just a few weeks back had passed away the next I heard of him. And I only knew of it when I wanted to resume the most recent wall conversation I had, popped over to his profile, and saw the news there.

[Fragony]

It's not a nice thing to read considering that someone I chatted with just a few weeks back had passed away the next I heard of him. And I only knew of it when I wanted to resume the most recent wall conversation I had, popped over to his profile, and saw the news there.

What?

[Fragony]

doublepost,don't know how.

[KukriKhan]

Thanks, everybody, for taking the topic seriously and offering your honest thoughts. Some great ideas have been put forth, and you've all given me plenty to think about.

Moderators: feel free to change the topic title to something gentler - I never imagined it would alarm my friends here as much as it reportedly has.

The Life Insurance thingee is covered, I think, while I work. I pay extra for a 5-years' salary option (wifey gets my annual average salary x5). That should pay off the mortgage and bills. I haven't written a will yet, but I'll get on that next week.

Twenty years ago I was in great shape, even though I smoked three packs a day, and beer consumption was about same as today.

Now I don't finish 1 pack of Marlboro's per day, but that's mostly because smoking is an outdoor sport in California generally, and in Mrs. Kukri's house specifically. I find I can go longer and longer in-between light-ups, without too much craving. Maybe I'll just get bored with it some day. :)

I guess the most important thing I take away from this discussion is: realizing that other people dieing around me, near my age - though alarming - is no accurate predictor of my own death.

It's funny: at 20, newly drafted into a wartime army, I gave away all my earthly possessions and told my friends "goodbye", knowing, just KNOWING I was gonna go to a bad place, do bad things and die within 2 years.

At 40, still breathing, out of the military, I concluded "yes, but not just yet."

Now, approaching 60, rl friends and family passing away at an alarming rate, I wonder again. But you fellas are right: no man knows his hour. Who do I think I am, wanting to predict mine?

Happy Thanksgiving, my friends. I give sincere thanks for your warm companionship. That (friendship) grows more important to me daily.