"I'm going to die anyway, and therefore have nothing more to do except deliberately annoy Lemur." -Orb, in the chat
"Lemur. Even if he's innocent, he's a pain; so kill him." -Ignoramus
"I'm going to need to collect all of the rants about the guilty lemur, and put them in a pretty box with ponies and pink bows. Then I'm going to sprinkle sparkly magic dust on the box, and kiss it." -Lemur Mafia: Promoting peace and love since June 2006
Originally Posted by TosaInu
At times I read back my own posts [...]. It's not always clear at first glance.
Vancouver, BC, Canada, North America, Terra, Sol, Milky Way, Local Cluster, Universe
Posts
3,700
Re: What will you do 26th of december?
I'll probably be packing for Vegas. I can't understand why you would go to the desert in winter,,,,,
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
WELCOME TO AVSM
Cool store, bro! I want some ham. No ham, pepsi.
They make deli slices of frozen pepsi now? Awesome! You also need to purchase a small freezer for storage of your pepsi. It runs on batteries. You'll need a few.
Uhh, I guess I won't have pepsi then. Do you have change for a twenty? You can sift through the penny jar ALL WILL BE CONTINUED
See aunts* and cousins. I will cook a bird of some sort to take 100 miles and eat. My carbon footprint will be enlarged, as will my belly. Its a nice tradition, with my immediate family meeting Christmas Eve and Day.
Also I may take my nephew to see Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 the Squeakwul and I will not kill myself to avoid this. Payback, I took him to Where the Wild Things are and he was very polite about it, despite it being trash.
* All the men of that generation are gone: the uncles have died, deserted and divorced respectively, just like the witches of Eastwick. The similarities end there...maybe one aunt is almost as kooky as Cher.
Also I may take my nephew to see Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 the Squeakwul and I will not kill myself to avoid this. Payback, I took him to Where the Wild Things are and he was very polite about it, despite it being trash.
But the soundtrack is by Karen O!! Karen O!! I'd watch it just for the soundtrack!
Originally Posted by drone
I imagine an open-source project to recreate [Medieval: Total War] would be faced with an army of high-valour lawyers.
Live your life out on Earth; I'm going to join the Sun.
I can actually relate to that, you got all the warmth of Christmas, followed by the excitement of the new year and then January is just...cold and bleak...and life goes on as usual but in contrast to the holiday excitement I can see how some people could get depressed, I find it rather chilling myself usually but not that bad.
The high number of suicides is because a lot of people don't have anyone to spend the holidays with and they, quite understandably, get depressed. The darker side of the festive season.
The high number of suicides is because a lot of people don't have anyone to spend the holidays with and they, quite understandably, get depressed. The darker side of the festive season.
So I'm still the only person who thinks that January is bleak and cold in contrast to December?
There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford
My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.
I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.
I'll probably don my mushroom cap, adorn myself in the usual pepperoni buttons, green pepper bracelets, chicken cufflinks, beef bell-bottoms, jalepeno jacket, sausage belt, and melted mozzarella makeup, and drive my Post-Christmas sleigh, a 1978 AMC Pacer Hatchback, all over the world, delivering hot yummy slices of pizza to all the good little boys and girls who made the "nice tip" list.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
With my sack filled with steaming boxes, and a light atop my sleigh,
the numbers of your local pizza parlor glowing bright for all to see, I'll give a hearty "Ho, ho ho" and say:
On Beefy, On Ham, On Bacon and Cheesy!
On Pork, On Sausage, On Tomato and Anchovy!
To the top of the porch! To the food court of the mall!
Now munch away, munch away, munch away all!
As the gas prices on the big board start to climb,
When I meet a pothole, or my tires start to slide,
I will not falter, to the house of the customers I'll go
With a sleigh full of yummies, and a Pepsi in tow
I'll park in the handicap space, and buzz myself in,
And up the stairs I will come, change coins jinglin'
I'll come with a twinkle, I'll come with a smile
No unrolled change please, counting takes quite a while.
I'll take your Mastercard, and I'll accept Visa
But Discover won't even get you one slice of Pizza
Please arrive at the door fully dressed, if you please
And if your cuddly dog bites, put her on a leash
Please remember to stay at home, that would be keen
If you order, then go shopping, that's really STUPID and mean.
No, I won't come inside, and I won't serve it on a plate
I've got 300 million other deliveries to do tonight, mate
And if you're three dollars short, NO, you don't get the food!
I won't "cover you this time" you ignorant fool,
I work for a living, you ungrateful wretch!
It's bad enough for no tip, your pizza I'll fetch.
And if the pizza is wrong, guess what, I don't make them!
All I do is drive, and to your house I do take them!
If the pizza is wrong, call them up, tell the boss
I don't have an oven in my car, it won't help to be cross
I can't make another pizza for you; it's no use to whine
If your Amazon purchase is wrong, you don't blame the UPS guy!
And I don't want to argue about the cost of the food
It's expensive to hire a taxi for your dinner... DUDE.
Another thing, I may be handsome, and I may look cuddly
But please, keep your hands off of me, I ain't your buddy
I'm a professional food courier, please don't treat me like dirt
And forgive me this, please, I really must be curt:
Strippers, you may look cute, but "flirting" don't pay the bills
Keep your stupid "lap dances", PAY ME, and go pop some more pills
And sir, if you would please, keep that thing in your drawers
I'm not gay, and I'm at work, I need to get back to the store
I'm on the clock, I don't have time to reject your advances
And if I may, being 60 years old hurts your chances.
I've learned o'er the years, and it makes me pissed
Cute single women who order pizza, simply do not exist.
I've seen a dude naked, I've been hit on by old men
I've dealt with my share of creeps, in all the places I've been
I've been robbed, I've been manhandled, I've been abused and cheated
I've been yelled and cursed at by hundreds of people I've greeted
And when my long, expensive trips are done, at the end of the day
I've got to scrub the store top to bottom, and put all the dishes away
I pay my own gas, I buy my own tires, insurance, and oil
There's no company car either, so my blood starts to boil
When people complain about the delivery charge or don't tip
If you don't like it, you cheapskate, then YOU make the trip.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, FROM PIZZA CLAUS!!!
Sorry, needed to get that off my chest. The above might be satire, but it is all 99% true as well. Merry Christmas, though, really.
Last edited by Askthepizzaguy; 12-25-2009 at 18:13.
I'll probably don my mushroom cap, adorn myself in the usual pepperoni buttons, green pepper bracelets, chicken cufflinks, beef bell-bottoms, jalepeno jacket, sausage belt, and melted mozzarella makeup, and drive my Post-Christmas sleigh, a 1978 AMC Pacer Hatchback, all over the world, delivering hot yummy slices of pizza to all the good little boys and girls who made the "nice tip" list.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
With my sack filled with steaming boxes, and a light atop my sleigh,
the numbers of your local pizza parlor glowing bright for all to see, I'll give a hearty "Ho, ho ho" and say:
On Beefy, On Ham, On Bacon and Cheesy! On Pork, On Sausage, On Tomato and Anchovy! To the top of the porch! To the food court of the mall! Now munch away, munch away, munch away all!
As the gas prices on the big board start to climb, When I meet a pothole, or my tires start to slide, I will not falter, to the house of the customers I'll go With a sleigh full of yummies, and a Pepsi in tow I'll park in the handicap space, and buzz myself in, And up the stairs I will come, change coins jinglin' I'll come with a twinkle, I'll come with a smile No unrolled change please, counting takes quite a while. I'll take your Mastercard, and I'll accept Visa But Discover won't even get you one slice of Pizza Please arrive at the door fully dressed, if you please And if your cuddly dog bites, put her on a leash Please remember to stay at home, that would be keen If you order, then go shopping, that's really STUPID and mean. No, I won't come inside, and I won't serve it on a plate I've got 300 million other deliveries to do tonight, mate And if you're three dollars short, NO, you don't get the food! I won't "cover you this time" you ignorant fool, I work for a living, you ungrateful wretch! It's bad enough for no tip, your pizza I'll fetch. And if the pizza is wrong, guess what, I don't make them! All I do is drive, and to your house I do take them! If the pizza is wrong, call them up, tell the boss I don't have an oven in my car, it won't help to be cross I can't make another pizza for you; it's no use to whine If your Amazon purchase is wrong, you don't blame the UPS guy! And I don't want to argue about the cost of the food It's expensive to hire a taxi for your dinner... DUDE. Another thing, I may be handsome, and I may look cuddly But please, keep your hands off of me, I ain't your buddy I'm a professional food courier, please don't treat me like dirt And forgive me this, please, I really must be curt: Strippers, you may look cute, but "flirting" don't pay the bills Keep your stupid "lap dances", PAY ME, and go pop some more pills And sir, if you would please, keep that thing in your drawers I'm not gay, and I'm at work, I need to get back to the store I'm on the clock, I don't have time to reject your advances And if I may, being 60 years old hurts your chances. I've learned o'er the years, and it makes me pissed Cute single women who order pizza, simply do not exist. I've seen a dude naked, I've been hit on by old men I've dealt with my share of creeps, in all the places I've been I've been robbed, I've been manhandled, I've been abused and cheated I've been yelled and cursed at by hundreds of people I've greeted And when my long, expensive trips are done, at the end of the day I've got to scrub the store top to bottom, and put all the dishes away I pay my own gas, I buy my own tires, insurance, and oil There's no company car either, so my blood starts to boil When people complain about the delivery charge or don't tip If you don't like it, you cheapskate, then YOU make the trip.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, FROM PIZZA CLAUS!!!
Sorry, needed to get that off my chest. The above might be satire, but it is all 99% true as well. Merry Christmas, though, really.
Oh boy, it's Pizza Claus!!! Can I honk the horn on the Pacer? I've been good most of the time Can I have two slices of Buffalo Wing flavor with extra cheese!!!
"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." *Jim Elliot*
Usually new films are aired on boxing day, but this year I am watching AVATAR with my brother in law who is in town visiting our common in-laws.
He is married to my wife's sister who just had a baby. The girls will sit and talk about baby-stuff and us boys will head in to town.
This particular fellar will be famous someday. He is a psychologist and are doing research in the field of OCD (obsessive compulsory disorder).
He did a documentary for one of the national TV channels here which was aired recently. Apparently it kicked up a storm.
(sorry for the horrible translated link - the original was in Norwegian. Words like svarte (answered) are translated as black (svart)).
Actually it was brilliant.
It gave me an emotional kick and I left the cinema with a feeling of wanting to protect the environment and treat indigenous peoples with respect and consideration.
So this is how it feels to be a treehugger...
The sensation quickly weaned away and I am back at work - getting those petro-dollars out of the ancient sea bed.
Actually it was brilliant.
It gave me an emotional kick and I left the cinema with a feeling of wanting to protect the environment and treat indigenous peoples with respect and consideration.
So this is how it feels to be a treehugger...
The sensation quickly weaned away and I am back at work - getting those petro-dollars out of the ancient sea bed.
I need to get a reservation for it... it's been sold out solid for several days now...
Bookmarks