The Night Santa Went Crazy [Concluded]

[Askthepizzaguy]

ThE NigHt sAnTa WeNt cRaZy

A mini-mafia game hosted by Askthepizzaguy, who has also gone crazy.

Description:

A very basic game with no unusual rules, other than no night phases. A throwback to my mini-mafia hosting days.

Rules:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

1. No private reveals, no private communication of any kind.
2. No night phase, just lynches.
3. Game ends when mafia outnumber the town, there's one mafia and one town left, or all mafia are dead.
4. Phases will be 24 hours long. Write-ups will happen approximately "when I can" due to Resident Evil.
5. If I think of more I'll add them in here.
6. Have fun!

Potential victims: (8/7)


Death is yonder
Captain Blackadder
Joooray
Subotan
Double A
Johnhughthom
Yaropolk


Replacement: Centurion1

[Death is yonder]

In!

Nice starting pic

[Captain Blackadder]

In please

[Joooray]

In, please.

But what does no night phase mean? How does the mafia kill then?

[Subotan]

In, if only for the Robot Santa references I'll be able to make.

[Askthepizzaguy]

In, please.

But what does no night phase mean? How does the mafia kill then?

The same way that any mafia does during a standard day phase: Make sure they aren't the ones who get lynched, and that some poor innocent person dies instead. In short, pure cunning.

[Double A]

In!

[johnhughthom]

Yes please.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Just one more and we can start this thing. I am dying to show you the awesome poem I wrote for the first writeup.

[Joooray]

The same way that any mafia does during a standard day phase: Make sure they aren't the ones who get lynched, and that some poor innocent person dies instead. In short, pure cunning.

That sounds pretty hard, but an interesting twist none the less.

And also 200 posts, Wohoo. 180 or so of which were in mafia games. (I know thats what you produce in just one game, Atpg. )

[Yaropolk]

im in

[Centurion1]

darn i missed another mini mafia.

well ill go down as a replacement. have fun you guys

[Thermal]

darn i missed another mini mafia.

well ill go down as a replacement. have fun you guys

yes I liked the look of this one, glad I'm not the only one using christmas as an excuse to make a mafia game

[Askthepizzaguy]

Twas the night before Solstice, when all through the house
Santa could find no respite from his shrew of a spouse.
He watched Ultimate Fighting on the TV that blared
sounds of violence loud enough for the hearing impaired.
His lips glistened with the grease of a charred black boar,
As he popped several Vicodin, while cheering Randy Couture.
"Choke him! Pound him! Turn his face bloody red!
Make Santa proud, put your fist through his head!"
Mrs. Claus stomped in, and she started to growl,
"TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE NOW!!!!" yelled Mrs. Claus with a scowl.
Santa grabbed his beer bottle and tossed it at her face.
"Do it yourself, you old nag, and kindly get off my case!"
When out in the garage there sounded a crash
"Dangit, what now?" spat Nick, his teeth starting to gnash.
Away to the cellar he stormed, looking quite pissed
He swore that he'd beat whoever it was with his fists.
He opened the door and switched on the light
The scene Santa saw just couldn't be right...
The garage door was busted; smashed right in, it seemed,
With red-faced fury, Saint Nicholas screamed:
"Who could have done this, what hoodlum, what vandal?"
But what Santa saw next made him fly off the handle.
Hoof prints in the snow, and a trail of dribble,
Leading directly to an economy-sized sack of holiday kibble.
The dog food had spilled out, and it covered the floor,
A large hole, it seemed, in the bag had been torn.
"Whoever did this foul deed, oh they will certainly pay,
they won't live to see one more Christmas Day."
When what to his wandering eyes should appear,
But a trail leading back to Santa's pen of reindeer!
Off to the pen, stormed the angry Saint Nick.
Which one of those ruminants made Santa so ticked?
In his jolly old hands, Santa wielded a shottie
To punish the Reindeer who had been so naughty.
'Twas a Remington shotgun, model eight-seventy
Into the sky Santa fired, as he roared like a banshee.
The sleeping reindeer awoke with a start
As Santa threatened to blast thier wee skulls apart.
Faster than jackrabbits, they tried to escape Santa's aim
And he cussed, and shouted, and call'd them by name:
"Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen,
"Now Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen;
I know one of you broke the garage door that needs fixin'
And ate up the dog food; in your tummy it's sittin'.
But this is the final straw, you broke Santa's back!
Whichever one of you did this will have to be whacked.
But I wasn't there, I didn't see the whole thing myself.
Just know, whoever did this stole from the WRONG elf.
I have a confession to make, I've never been jolly,
I don't care to deck the halls with boughs of frickin' holly.
I won't be donning any of that festive gay apparel,
And if I hear even one more sappy, annoying Christmas carol
You will all taste bloody death from the barrel
of this shotgun I call Thor, so sing at your peril.
There will be no presents this year, Santa's sleigh is retired
And those sickeningly sweet little elves have been fired
You should know the sole reason I don't turn you to venison
is because I hate the flavor, you furry wastes of skin.
But if you don't figure out which of you ate the kibble,
I'll fix this problem in a manner quick and simple.
You will vote who among you will be sent to their death
Or each and every one of you will draw your final breath.
And I will ruin your holidays worse than any lame grinch,
If ever one of you reindeer should dare vote "No Lynch".
If after the punishment; the murderous deed done,
More kibble should go missing, I promise you this gun
Will splatter more blood, and just so you know
You will continue to vote, 'till the culprit's guts meet the snow."
The reindeer spoke not a word, but went straight to work,
they began to accuse one another of being the greedy jerk
Who stole from Scrumptious, Santa's German Shepherd pooch
Whose doggie kibble had been eaten, while Santa drank hooch.
Santa's speech had finished, so he sniffed his nose
Then he coughed up some phlegm, and up the stairs Santa rose.
He sprawled on his couch, and gave a cheerful whistle,
As Couture's feet met his opponent's face like a missile
But I heard Santa exclaim, as he drank whiskey sours,
"Vote now for who dies! you have Twenty-Four hours!"




"Scrumptious"

GAME BEGINS NOW. Day One. Please vote every round. 24 hours unless I don't get all votes in.

[Thermal]

Just....classic

[Subotan]

"Scrumptious"

[Yaropolk]

+1 for using 'Ruminants' in a poem
And Vote: Double A he always eats twice as much as everyone!

[Subotan]

Vote; Captain Blackadder, as he's only had one post so far.

SUSPICIOUS

[Double A]

vote: john

Your name annoys me when I'm trying to pm you something.

[Joooray]

That was awesome.

Also Vote: Double A, you seem to be naughty hiding behind them helmet and all!

[Double A]

Helmet?

I wish I had one, my hair was a total mess today

[Joooray]

Helmet?

I wish I had one, my hair was a total mess today

Because of all the dog food you ate, eh?!

You know how they say: A moment on your lips, forever in your hair.

[Captain Blackadder]

vote Yaropolk

Random chance says so.

[Double A]

Because of all the dog food you ate, eh?!

You know how they say: A moment on your lips, forever in your hair.

No never heard that before.

[johnhughthom]

Your name annoys me when I'm trying to pm you something.

How do you pm people? I usually just click on their name from one of their posts.

Vote: Double A for his odd pming methods.

[Death is yonder]

Vote: Captain Blackadder

Great poem ATPG

[Double A]

How do you pm people? I usually just click on their name from one of their posts.

Vote: Double A for his odd pming methods.

When I sent things to you and Ibn I had to go look up your name! Therefore you are guilty!

[Askthepizzaguy]

Double A: 3 (Yaropolk, Joooray, johnhughthom)
Captain Blackadder: 2 (Subotan, Death is yonder)
Johnhughthom: 1 (Double A)
Yaropolk: 1 (Captain Blackadder)



It looks as though I made have to replace Subotan due to a banning situation. Either Centurion1 or Thermal may have the role.

[Thermal]

Double A: 3 (Yaropolk, Joooray, johnhughthom)
Captain Blackadder: 2 (Subotan, Death is yonder)
Johnhughthom: 1 (Double A)
Yaropolk: 1 (Captain Blackadder)



It looks as though I made have to replace Subotan due to a banning situation. Either Centurion1 or Thermal may have the role.

I would like it, but as centurion was here first he deserves first dibs.

[Diamondeye]

If you need a new 2nd replacement, I'd be more than willing. Brilliant poem btw.