Why Is Every Non-geek In My Family in a Froth About the iPad?

[Crazed Rabbit]

The Onion, as always, delivers:

Frantic Steve Jobs Stays Up All Night Designing Apple Tablet

CUPERTINO, CA—Claiming that he completely forgot about the much-hyped electronic device until the last minute, a frantic Steve Jobs reportedly stayed up all night Tuesday in a desperate effort to design Apple's new tablet computer. "Come on, Steve, just think—think, dammit—you're running out of time," the exhausted CEO said as he glued nine separate iPhones to the back of a plastic cafeteria tray. "Okay, yeah, this will work. This will definitely work. Just need to write 'tablet' on this little strip of masking tape here and I'm golden. Oh, come on, you piece of shit! Just stick already!" Middle-of-the-night sources reported that Jobs then began work on double-spacing his Keynote presentation and increasing the font size to make it appear longer.

CR

[Crandaeolon]

compared to a computer the iPad is dead slow.

Proprietary silicon, proprietary OS, custom software, no multitasking. Any monkey could optimize applications to run fast on that environment. And, Apple's target demographic is non-geeks; people who care about out-of-the-box functionality and, incidentally, "looks" and "sleekness."