Jury service

**Pannonian** · 02-08-2010, 11:23

Has anyone else done jury service in the UK? Any tips on what to expect?

**Louis VI the Fat** · 02-08-2010, 17:51

Any tips

Off to gaol with 'em, that'll teach them buggers.

**HoreTore** · 02-09-2010, 00:25

Remember that everyone is presumed guilty until found innocent, and you should be ready to go.

**Cyclops** · 02-09-2010, 05:22

No I have not.

My family includes a number of lawyers in the similar Australian legal system.

You'll probably go through a selection process where you'll be turned away if you're too smart, too dumb, too left-wing, too right-wing, too interesting, too dull, too learned, too ingnorant...(are you getting the picture?). If given a spot, don't be insulted but do be patient, you'll have to listen to a lot of guff and forget things people say in court if the judge directs you to do so. Do nmot tell anyone outside what happens in the jury room ever. I believe its a crime to do so.

Of course it may be that the UK legal system is less like Australia, and more like UK TV. In which case the facts will seem to clearly indicate the accused is guilty until the final act when the entertaining quirky sleuth/grumpy copper/sexy spy will arrive panting in court with THE CLUE which led him/her to THE EVIDENCE and extracts the public CONFESSION from the real culprit, at which point the judge will dismiss the charges and you will have wasted a week of your life for nothing.

**A Very Super Market** · 02-09-2010, 05:33

Pfft, common law.

**a completely inoffensive name** · 02-09-2010, 05:55

Well I have seen quite a few crime shows here in America so i'm kind of an expert on this and since we saved your butts in WW2, I'm assuming you have adopted our laws and customs as a sign of gratitude and recognizing that America is #1 in everything, but anyway back onto something that not everyone knows (unlike what I was just talking about)...so what you do is have Grissom...err scratch that....have Morpheus find the evidence for you and present it to the judge at which point the guys from Boston Legal and NCIS start arguing for the defendant while all the Law and Order people tag team together arguing for the prosecution. Once the trial ends, you wake up from your 6 hour nap and start running your mouth to the other jury members about things that have little to do with the case and try to use it to support your poorly informed opinion using numerous logical fallacies (i'm talking at least 3 fallacies here, ad hominem is good but over used, get creative), after you guys give your verdict of guilty (because if he is there in the first place he must be guilty, amiright?) the judge will give him the mandatory sentence of either a slap on the wrist or 10X the usual sentence for the crime. The entire thing ends at that point when the judge signals the government to take him away by burning incense that gives off white smoke. After that, a brand new one is started all over again, signaled by the entrance of David Caruso into the courthouse, him putting on a pair of sunglasses, then giving a stupid one liner followed by a piercing YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, from the bailiff who happens to be the lead singer from The Who since NBC needed to a new gimmick to keep the show popular for another season.

Sources: Wikipedia, American television