Then there were None [Concluded]

[Greyblades]

Sorry My college seemed to think this was a good time of the year to do an IT exam and assign me english corsework so alongside the openning I've had to make up another story at the same time. My apologies. but I should have it done by today.

[Greyblades]

Well I think its time to stop putting it off. Here's the intro that I've been promising since, oh, about last saturday. Enjoy.

The boat rocked slightly in the roaring surf sending seawater, and afew passengers' stomach contents, slopping over the side of the hull as an old trawler made its ponderous way to the island's harbour. After being safely tethered by the ships motley crew, comprising of an ex fisherman, a transvestite and an inebriated collie named Phil, the tub's inhabitants climbed onto the peer and made their way inland.
"First class travel my foot! I knew that sot was a skintflint when it came to others comfort, but I 'ad no idea that he would be cheap enough to put us in that old tub!". Moaned one of the passengers, a as the group made its way to the manor.
"Just be glad he bothered to get a boat at all the ferry doesn't come here I don't know about you but I didn't want to swim. At least the crew was polite."
"Crew? An old dullard, a poof and a fleabag that's seen better days? I've seen better seamen on a toy yacht! And god did that dog fart!"
"I really wish you would keep your language civilised."
"Civilised!? Sorry, M'lud, but not all of us were born with a silver spoon up our backside, we both know you never 'ad to work for anything. I bet you still have yer mum wipe your-"
"Will you two please shut up! Its bad enough we're freezing our legs off without you going on... Ah we're here."
They stopped in front of a set of Wooden doors, presumably the front door seeing as there weren't any others. For some reason the architect had seen it fit to adorn the door with a rather tacky skull motif. and the knocker was the jaw of what appeared to be a monkey.
"Well that's just tasteless, was he always this bad at decor?"
"How should I know? I barely noticed the man let alone got a guided tour around his dorm room."
After about 5 minutes of knocking on the door failed to get any attention they were considering trying to break in when a one of the upper floor windows opened and a rather wrinkled head peered out.
"Whatever your selling we don't want any!"
"We're not selling anything, we were invited."
"You were?... Oh, yes, the reunion, come in, come in, its unlocked. The master will be down in a second."
The head retracted and the window closed. Wasting no more time the group walked in and was greeted by the man that had called down to them earlier, a butler referred to as Niles.
"I understand you had a less than satisfactory trip my apologies but the master does like his privacy and as you probably know the ferry does not stop here. The master will meet you in the dining hall, please this way."
After entering and taking their seats at the main table the end door opened and the man known as Oliver Malwell entered and took his seat at the end of the table.
"Ah friends" He began "it seems you have arrived unharmed, I must apologise for the lack of eloquence in your transport but larger ships would be easily wrecked. Well now we are all here I think its a good time to start dinner,"
As the conversation started up Oliver's manservant exited the room to come back with several servants carrying a multitude of dishes and the meal began. And with that dear readers it should have ended, the guests should have dined and been merry for the night and be off home the next day. Should. Alas fate is not so kind, what was in store for these motely band of friends and old colleagues was a week of despair, confusion and death, with no survivors. But... maybe I should be kind, give them a sporting chance as it were? Very well you dear readers will take their places you will become the guests, you shall face their fate, you shall find the enemy within and, maybe you shall even leave this place with your lives. Good luck.

Night Zero.
Mafia send in your orders everyone else... roleplay or something I dont know,

[Captain Blackadder]

Well I say old bean I say we have a bit of jolly old fun and introduce ourselves for I for one do not know everyone here tonight. Thomas Harold Mortimer Green 2nd Batt.,The Derbyshire Regiment The Sherwood Foresters. I have just come back from the war after given those natives the good solid taste of British Steel. None of you are those namby pamby people who say the natives are our equals are you?

[johnhughthom]

What-ho folks, Buzz Killington here. This should be a ripping good yarn. Now lets say we all sit down and look at graveyard etchings? Surely such jolly japery should distract any would be killer from their nefarious tomfoolery?

[Captain Blackadder]

What-ho folks, Buzz Killington here. This should be a ripping good yarn. Now lets say we all sit down and look at graveyard etchings? Surely such jolly japery should distract any would be killer from their nefarious tomfoolery?

"Buzz Killington" what a vulger name good sir I would almost swear you were from the colonies with such a name as that. I say that it shoudl prove easy to find this killer for when we do my great military know how will serve me well. Servant get me some scotch.

With this a servant brings forth some scotch Thomas sips it then spits it out

What are you trying to do kill me? I said I want some scotch not this negus rubbish

[Winston Hughes]

"Buzz Killington" what a vulger name

Indeed. It sounds like the kind of name you'd expect an American to have.

Lady Weston-Hogues shudders slightly at the thought of sharing a dinner table with someone with the ill-fortune to be born on the unfashionable side of the Atlantic Ocean.

[johnhughthom]

My my, such negativity in the room. I know, why don't I tell us all a nice story about a bridge? That will raise everybodies spirits, yes?

[Captain Blackadder]

I hear you my good lady. Say where did you study a woman such as yourself would surely go to a fine University. I suspect that our American friend here would only ever be able to get into Hull. With that he laughs at his own joke

[Subotan]

Well I say old bean I say we have a bit of jolly old fun and introduce ourselves for I for one do not know everyone here tonight. Thomas Harold Mortimer Green 2nd Batt.,The Derbyshire Regiment The Sherwood Foresters. I have just come back from the war after given those natives the good solid taste of British Steel. None of you are those namby pamby people who say the natives are our equals are you?

Another millitary man? Good show chap, I'm Captain Mackerel. I have just returned from a long stint in the Indiarrr Office. I was serving in Upper Burma, when some Fuzzy-Wuzzy bastards attacked my brigade. I managed to "civilise" them off, with nothing more than a few flesh wounds. When I got the message for the reunion,. I couldn't wait to hurry back here and meet all my chums!

EDIT: I'm only going for the colonial persona because I promised myself I'd get to wear a pith helmet, so don't think of it as if I'm stealing your ideas.

What-ho folks, Buzz Killington here.

LOL superb

[Choxorn]

'Ello, ol Chaps, I'm Frederick A. Jackson, I've spent most of the past few years as the captain of a couple of cruise ships. I must say, that dinghy boat is a big step downward from the nice ships I'm used to being on.

[Thermal]

Moby the Merchant, a good old chap I am, I can tell you a tell or two and play the violin!

Unlike you gentlemen, I have no stomach for war, but much prefer keeping tabs on the good old currency and how to get more of it, honestly of course...

I am a traveling fish enthusiast, in order to make myself a fortune on tuna I aim to see my good old friend, who tells me he as seafood surplus, leftover prawns can only give one a foul mood!

[Subotan]

Lord Earl of Cornwall

lol wut

[Secura]

I really wish I had signed up for this game now...

[Winston Hughes]

Having spent several minutes deciding not to risk what passed for soup at Malwell's table, Lady Weston-Hogues fell into a brown study.

In her younger life, Winnie (an unfortunate nickname acquired during her time at Oxford) had been quite the beauty - a right old corker, as her dear departed husband had used to say - and now her mind took a brief promenade back to those cherished days of youth. Imagining her slender, pretty form encased in lavish frock, surrounded by many a dashing suitor, the aging widow sighed deeply. Would that today's festivities held such promise...

Rousing herself from these foolish reveries, Lady Weston-Hogues cast a discerning eye about the table, judging the company with a barely-disguised sneer. Fools, bounders, jackanapes. Barely a hint of class between them...

Sighing deeply, she quaffed what remained of her wine, then tapped impatiently on the glass, awaiting further refreshment.