Mafia IX: Triumph of the Mafia [Concluded]

[TinCow]

Follow me and be my voice in the land of the living. I promise you an infinite amount of money, to spend in the eternal paradise.

If you don't follow me, I'll haunt you for eternity!

If it was my policy to follow dead people, I wouldn't have needed to find a replacement for 'khaan. So, if I accepted your offer, I would be a traitor to my late master. I am a mindless minion, and mindless minions obey without questioning... they do not commit treason.

[Andres]

If it was my policy to follow dead people, I wouldn't have needed to find a replacement for 'khaan. So, if I accepted your offer, I would be a traitor to my late master. I am a mindless minion, and mindless minions obey without questioning... they do not commit treason.

So, if Sasaki would ask you to break the tie between yourself and some other player by voting yourself, you'll obey, mister mindless minion?

[TinCow]

So, if Sasaki would ask you to break the tie between yourself and some other player by voting yourself, you'll obey, mister mindless minion?

Yes.

[Kagemusha]

Yes.

In that case i know just the perfect tie for next round.

[GeneralHankerchief]

Day breaks in the Frontroom. The white van was filled to the very brim with equipment for today's kill.

*ding dong*

Winston Hughes opened the door, already dressed for the day's activities. This was a switch from the mafioso's previous targets, which had been mostly still half-asleep or groggy.

"Oven installation," the man at the door said. "I'm here to help deliver and install the oven you ordered-" He was cut off.

"It's about time you got here," Winston said, "I was told to expect you three hours ago!"

The installer couldn't help but be surprised at this. "Wait... really?"

"Yes, really, Winston said. Now, are you going to install me an oven or are you just going to stand there looking stupid?"

"No, sir, of course not," the installer said, recovering quickly. "It's just that I was told to be at your house... in fifteen minutes, actually. I thought I was early. Right then, let me just go out to the van and start getting things ready."

"You got it," Winston said. "Need any help with bringing anything in?"

"Nope, I can handle it!" the installer called out, already on the way back to his van. "This is an odd coincidence," he said to himself. "He actually was expecting somebody to install his oven? That is *so* weird. I've got to finish this thing up and get out of here before the actual oven installer comes and complicates things." After a minute of rummaging around with the van, he emerged with a plan, among other things.

Walking back up to the doorway, the installer put his plan in action. "As a thank you for ordering with us as well as an apology for having to wait so long, I'd like to offer you this complimentary pizza paddle. Now you can be like the professional pizzerias when handling your delicious pies!"

"Uh, thanks..." Winston said, taken a bit aback, "But I'm not really sure I'll ever need this..."

"YOU'LL TAKE THE PIZZA PADDLE AND LIKE IT!" the mafioso shouted, whacking Winston upside the head with the pizza paddle. Winston spilled to the ground, out cold. Looking around for any signs of neighbors, the mafioso, now looking slightly mad with paranoia, took out a shovel and started digging. Thirty minutes later, he had buried Winston alive on his own front lawn before driving off.

Unlike Winston, johnhughthom had just gotten up and was in the process of his usual morning rituals. These included, in order, waking up, getting up, shaving, showering, having breakfast, and brushing his teeth. Right now, john had finished with getting up, and now, still half-asleep, he was shaving.

Unbeknownst to him, john's electric razor would not work today because, only minutes ago, someone had strategically detonated a low-power EMP right outside his own bathroom window. Naturally, when john turned his razor on, nothing happened. Muttering about the fact that batteries were increasingly unreliable, john reached for his charger and plugged his razor in. Of course, the razor still didn't work.

"What the...?" john said.

*CRASH!!!* His bathroom window shattered open as the mafioso climbed through, evidently having picked up a ladder beforehand. "Here, use this!" he said, handing a straight, cut-throat razor to john. "In a world where we can't trust electricity, some of the old ways still work! Perhaps this experience will persuade you to join a more naturalist lifestyle! Help end humanity's slavish reliance on our electronic masters!"

john simply stood there, dumbfounded.

"Ah, wait," said the mafioso, "You don't know how to use one of these? It's okay, I'll show you," now gripping the razor and standing at john's side. "Well, basically, you stand, and lift up your chin, and just start scraping, but not too much, because you're liable to-" john suddenly went down to his knees, his hands at his throat, gasping for air.

"...cut your throat," the mafioso finished, smirking. He shimmied out of the window and climbed back down.

Later that day, Chief of Police Lemur gathered the remaining villagers in the Frontroom Square in order to make an announcement.

"All right everyone," he said, "It looks like we have four crimes to deal with today. In addition to the two new murders, there has also been an act of terrorism with the detonation of an EMP. Most importantly though, let it be noted that an oven installation service has failed to keep its appointment! Had the actual installer shown up at poor Winston's door at the designated time, he might have been more on guard when the mafioso had come to call! Unfortunately, we're only here today to discuss the two murders, so get on that in the meantime. I'll make some headway with the other two crimes."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Still alive: (23)
Sasaki Kojiro
Secura
Askthepizzaguy
Beefy187
Methos
White_eyes:D
Sigurd
Kagemusha
Subotan
Beskar
Captain Blackadder
Joooray
pevergreen
Renata
shlin28
Thermal Mercury
Cultured Drizzt fan
Ibn-Khaldun
woad&fangs
Psychonaut
spL1tp3r50naL1ty
TinCow
Reenk Roink

Killed:
Crazed Rabbit
Andres
atheotes
Double A
Centurion1
Csargo
Winston Hughes
johnhughthom

Executed:
Diamondeye
Chaotix
Yaseikhaan

Wrath of God Warnings are now in affect. Do not tempt fate.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Thanks. You amuse me as well, mafiosi.

[Csargo]

Why did you kill me ATPG? I thought we were friends.

[Renata]

vote: Captain Blackadder

Three posts all game. Then probably Sigurd tomorrow. I think it's about that time of the game it becomes useful to purge a few of the people who don't post.