Anyone know a good mosturizer?

[Reenk Roink]

I ran out of soap in the shower...

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

...so I used comet...

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

ow...

[Sasaki Kojiro]

Lol. Really?

I get itchy skin after showering in the winter time. Try Walgreens moisturizing lotion, I think that's what it's called. Works well.

[Megas Methuselah]

I use some to keep my hands soft. Hold on, lemme check what it is, 'cuz it works pretty good.

EDIT: Vaseline, dry skin condition. It smells nice.

[Major Robert Dump]

I know what it's really for. I prefer baby oil tbh

[Reenk Roink]

Thanks guys, I'm probably going to have to get a good cream and vaseline shortly, but I'm kinda out of cash right now. I'm gonna try a natural cure of butter and olive oil. Any other suggestions with something you don't have to buy?

[Megas Methuselah]

Any other suggestions with something you don't have to buy?

Uhm... Spittle?

[Hooahguy]

comet? are you serious?

[Subotan]

Vegetable fat, mixed with water. Perfume it, if that's your kind of thing.

[miotas]

I'm not sure what this "comet" is, but aloe is good for rashes and skin irritations.

[Megas Methuselah]

Yeah, what's comet?

[Reenk Roink]

Oh crap guys, my butter and olive oil solution worked a bit, but now I'm greasy, sticky, and worst of all I smell!

I tried rinsing it as best as possible but this stuff needs soap to get rid of, which I don't have at the moment. Comet would probably work, but I really don't want to use it again.

comet? are you serious?

Oh come on, I got enough of that from my buddies when I called them to ask for lotion. Like I said, I had run out of soap, and comet was nearby and it seemed like a rational solution. They all asked me what drugs I was on, but I would never let those hazardous chemicals near my body!

Yeah, what's comet?

This.

[miotas]

I'd recommend aloe like I said before. If you or anyone has a plant then you can get it free. Otherwise just take a long soak in a hot bath, it will make your tortured skin feel much better and even without any soap just soaking for a while will likely clean most of that that you've covered yourself in.

[Subotan]

Of course, you are now far too sticky and naked to go out and actually buy some soap. What a Catch 22 situation, eh?

[Centurion1]

i cant believe you bathed with comet...........

i have a nic elotion but i have to buy it. like someone said aloe willl make you feel better. and put on calamine and meat tenderizer i kid you not works wonders with jellyfish stings (but i dont know exactly what comet burn looks like)

[Reenk Roink]

Ok I think I may have come up with a decent solution. After again taking a nice hot shower again, the oil still has some residue but it's not too bad now. The smell unfortunately is still there, and I am also out of cologne, but luckily I had some of those trial vials of perfume from my old Victoria's Secret catalogs so I used that.

I can go to class all respectable now!

Of course, you are now far too sticky and naked to go out and actually buy some soap. What a Catch 22 situation, eh?

It's a catch-22, but not in the way you say it. The problem is is that I had no money to go out and buy new soap. Usually I keep a supply of extra stuff like that lying around, but recently I have spent A LOT of money on internet porn and so I had to cut corners somewhere...

i cant believe you bathed with comet...........

Look man, the choice was between nothing, shampoo, or comet. I can't shower with nothing because then what's the point, and I'm not retarded enough to use shampoo because it clogs your pores and can lead to oiliness which can cause a whole host of problems, and I am VERY particular about what I put on my skin.

[Secura]

I'm not going to criticise you for using this Comet product as a soap replacement, because everyone does silly things when they're in a pinch; there was a British footballer (plays in Turkey now I think) who was suffering from a really bad blister on his foot... he tried to remove the blister with a power drill. :P

I'm really fond of La Mer's body treatment range. That's the UK site, but there is an American equivalent; the stuff can be a little pricey, but it lasts, your skin looks and feels fantastic and you'll never want to use anything else again.

And yes, it's a feminine product, but that doesn't have to stop you using it! :3

[Subotan]

It's a catch-22, but not in the way you say it. The problem is is that I had no money to go out and buy new soap. Usually I keep a supply of extra stuff like that lying around, but recently I have spent A LOT of money on internet porn and so I had to cut corners somewhere...

You paid money for porn?

Look man, the choice was between nothing, shampoo, or comet. I can't shower with nothing because then what's the point, and I'm not retarded enough to use shampoo because it clogs your pores and can lead to oiliness which can cause a whole host of problems, and I am VERY particular about what I put on my skin.

So you put bleach/scourer on it

And yes, it's a feminine product, but that doesn't have to stop you using it! :3

Men are funny about stuff like that. We can't use cosmetics that are marketed towards women, ever.

[pevergreen]

recently I have spent A LOT of money on internet porn and so I had to cut corners somewhere...

Thats the Reenk I love.

[Whacker]

I know what it's really for. I prefer baby oil tbh

That stuff is way too expensive. One can only extract so much oil from one baby.

[TinCow]

Reenk, I bow to you. You are indeed The Master.

[bobbin]

Get Calendula cream, it works very well and you don't feel greasy after using it.

[Lemur]

In the future, rather than using an industrial detergent, just try scrubbing yourself under hot water. You'd be amazed how much stink and grit hot water will take away all by itself.

That said, epic thread is epic.

[Megas Methuselah]

This.

Wow, man. WOW.

[Reenk Roink]

Wow, man. WOW.

Look how many times am I going to have to say this? My reasoning was if it's good enough for the toilet it's good enough for me.

[Csargo]

I heard comet tasted pretty good. You mind testing that out for me and telling your results?

[Reverend Joe]

It's a catch-22, but not in the way you say it. The problem is is that I had no money to go out and buy new soap. Usually I keep a supply of extra stuff like that lying around, but recently I have spent A LOT of money on internet porn and so I had to cut corners somewhere...

I was about to ask why you didn't even have bar soap. Damn, dude. I hope you at least stocked up on hand lotion, because Comet DEFINTELY would not be a viable substitute in that situation.

[Reenk Roink]

I'm once again out of moisturizer and since my gloves are **** my hands have become all dry to the cold. But this time, I'm looking for an upgrade from the slightly scented stuff.

In my Victoria's Secret catalogs something that has caught my eye is the scented lotions. I have always been a fan of the Pear Glace scent and now they have Pear Glace lotion.

The problem is that I feel REALLY AWKWARD just strolling into Victoria's Secret and buying the stuff. My nervousness will get the best of me and they will get the impression that I am some weirdo or creep. Yesterday I was at the mall and I was hesitating to enter VS and some girls obviously noticed my demeanor because they stared at me (they were ugly though so **** them).

Ordering online or by phone will take too long to deliver and my hands are already chapped now. Plus I don't want records of this stuff out there, I want to just pay cash so my purchases are anonymous.

How do I get the confidence to buy my lotion?

[A Nerd]

How do I get the confidence to buy my lotion?

Go in with a female friend, close or not, or even a relative and have them buy what you want. This might work. You need not your own lotion buying confidence, merely that of a compantion that will do all the heavy lifting for you. Then, go to a sporting goods store and buy something else. :)

[Hosakawa Tito]

Shoulda added fresh minced garlic to that olive oil then you'd smell Italian...yeah that's it, Italian. Good thing he didn't use that Comet as a body wash or chapped hands would be the least of his problems.

[A Nerd]

Shoulda added fresh minced garlic to that olive oil then you'd smell Italian...yeah that's it, Italian.

I love garlic. It improves any dish, and it tastes so good! Though I wouldn't recommend putting olive oil on the hands...perhaps the body though. But I digress, back to hand lotion and the softening of the skin.