Scenes We'd Like To See

[Secura]

So I thought I'd set up a little comedy thread based upon Mock The Week's "Scenes We'd Like To See", whereby the contestants say something that adheres to the topic at hand and makes the audience laugh. Good examples from the link would include:

Commercials That Never Made It To Air
"Lidl's own brand shampoo... because you're worthless"
"Poor? Too lazy to cook? That's why mum's go to Iceland"

Simply post one of your own and then the next poster can do so and so on. I'll be the host and will judge which ones I find funniest, and I'll keep the topic rotated every few days to keep it fresh; try not to simply quote ones from the shows if possible, I just wanna see how funny y'all are, not how well you watch something! :P

Anyways, the first topic is:

Unlikely things to hear at an election speech