an EB story

[Mulceber]

And so, with the god hands of the EB 2 team, he embarked the phalangitai to join the gaza campaign, a test of strength, prelude to sacking Barbaropolis.

But why would he sack Pella?

And so Alexandros found himself in an infinite loop of conquering and reconquering Gaza. -M

[Zradha Pahlavan]

Until, thanks to the help of his little brother, a green centipede, and a drunk Persian, the EB script was accidentally turned off, and he found himself in the magical world of vanilla Rome Total War where prehistoric giant elephants, purple horsemen, ogres, and ninjas made their homes.

[satalexton]

Fantasy it may be, Alexandros intends to rejoin his crusade against Roma; he petitions the EB team for a way back, and they bade him to follow the yellow brick road.

[Zradha Pahlavan]

On his way he met Ptolemais and Seleucus, who were always squabbling. They both saw him, and they both told him to stay away from India. "What's an India?", thought Alexandros, as he continued...

[Arthur, king of the Britons]

Later he came across a machine with an big red button on it. Next the button a note said: Activate EB script, and Alexandros pressed the trigger and was thus returned to the somewhat logical world of EB.

[Titus Marcellus Scato]

Continuing his journeys, Alexandros met a strange Scythian barbarian, who offered him a beautiful blonde bride, who apparently didn't speak much Greek apart from 'yes' and 'more' so Alexandros wouldn't be bothered by her nagging. "Sure," said Alexandros, "...I could really do with a good woman to keep me company." The Scythian told him to return to the same spot in a month, where his bride would be waiting, but asked for 100 mnai to pay for the wedding and expenses. Alexandros readily agreed, and paid up. "See you here next month!" said the Scythian. "Hmm," thought Alexandros, "that was a bit steep for a wedding, this had better be good!"

[plutoboyz]

The next month, Alexandros go to the same place as promised. Alexandros didn't realize the Scythian actually a bounty hunter who looking for him in exchange for 3 mnai. the trap was successfull. Alexandros found himself being surrounded by 1.000.000.000.000.000.000.000 Duna Asya. The greedy Scythian then order his horde to kill Alexandros while he go inside his tent with Alexandros supposed-to-be-his Bride.

[satalexton]

on the LAST moment, in the BRINK of time, Alexandros decided that he actually liked men instead. Thus he unwittingly spared himself from a grueling fate....

[Zradha Pahlavan]

Damn, just a second too late...

(REWRITE)
Alexandros then purchased some goats from the Scythians for 5 mnai apiece. One of the goats had a wonderfully soft wool, and that goat became Alexandros' personal favorite. Everyday he fed it special mustard brought in by caravans from the Orient.

[Skullheadhq]

But why would he sack Pella?

And so Alexandros found himself in an infinite loop of conquering and reconquering Gaza. -M

So, out of boredom he came here and started the 121869th thread about the release date of EBII

[Zradha Pahlavan]

The Romaiktonoi eagerly awaited the release of their super weapon, EB2. Once it was ready, they could install it on their mightiest star ships and destroy the barbarians.

[Cute Wolf]

Out of boredroom, caused by some Inter Romaioktonoi wars, Cute Wolf escaped the Duguntz, Jebivjetar, Hun General, and Arthur's wrath (because he genetically enginereed the Wargozez, Dorkim Khdoshim, Aeldry Aezamblade, and Kluddargos , so they have cute purple wolf fur and head), and Plutoboyz seem to not helping him either. So Cute Wolf go to his secret base, prepare his purple wolf alien squadron, riding flying saucers, and go to the Roman colony, where he search for one certain philoromaioi, Sonic... to extract half the data of their genetic mutator weapon.

[gamegeek2]

From out of the desert comes gamegeek2, at the forefront of a host of nomads - desert and steppe alike - banded together under the common banner of glory and plunder. He marches up to Satalexton and proclaims:

YALLA! MY SULTAN WISHES YOU DEAD!!!

[Hannibal Khan the Great]

And at once, my dreaded Turkish alter ego comes up and says: "Infidels to kill, Sultan?" Apparently Sata is a basileus in all non-roman cultures.

[gamegeek2]

Sultan gamegeek2 of the Joint Nomad Tribes wishes the fall of the Arche Makedonia! With no Romans to plunder, we seek a new source of riches - and none would be more appropriate than the great kingdom of Makedonia.

Assemble the horsemen. We march at dawn. Basileus Satalexton will be trampled beneath the hooves of a million of the fiercest warriors, from the lowest horse archer to a collection of the finest nomadic horsemen from all over the world - men the Hetairoi have no chance against.

We seek no conflict with Qart-Hadasht, Sofet Jebvijetar.

[MarCn]

Jirisys of Rome was blitzing to africa and destroying the carthaginian empire, capturing Jebivjetar in the process, but forgave him for his braveness and great intelligence, and made him into a half-citizien and gave him 5 women and 320 mnai per year. The greek empire of Jirisys was heavily angry at lion and also Jirisys of Saka, but they were in a crisis as Rhodes, Crete, Athens & Sparta were the only cities that they had and they were heavily attacked by the maks, but right in the nick of time, the Sakas proposed to give him Hallikarnasos (the only asia-minor city they had left) and Chighu, the capital for an alliance, the greeks decided to go with seroquel quetiapine it, the Seleucid-Saka-Baktria (let's call them SSB) emperor announced to all of the cities that were captured, that the gift of 10 women per men that he had given them, that they should enjoy it quickly, because, in death they wouldn't be able. The message was spread to all cities, and several SSB soldiers that were holding the revolt warned the people by killing thousands of them, and the Makedonian-Seleukid empire's soldiers discovered them, and attacked them, but were unsuccessful, the thousands of dead bodies made for a great wall and the mak-sel were obliterated by the Horse Archers. The rule over asia was almost complete, but they decided to stop there, made an alliance with tadalafil uk the ptolemaio, the Romani and Averni, but didn't found the location of Lion, or Alexander... But the greeks did, they were exchanged Chighu for the cities westward of Persepolis, and they had a jumping start taking away the lands of the makedonians from asia and making the border unpassable, they found Lion hiding in Mycena and upon seeing him, they talked to the SSB of what to do with him, Cute Wolf was the one who talked to him, he offered him money, women and a kigdom, if he would stop the war with his allies, but in his stubborness refused, then Jirisys of Saka talked to him, the only things that he said, he said to him in greek so everyone understood his fate (Cute wolf talked to him in semitic, since he didn't know greek and Lion knew Semitic) he said "Κύβος, εσείς όχιευγνώμων αφρός" "Die, you ungrateful scum" and decapitated him (for violating the vanilla/EB border and the laws of physics) Alexander was yet on the loose, and the SSB & KH were concerned, of what his next move would be...

Back in Rome, Jirisys had conquered Sicily, the Baleares and The islands east of the baleares, the Carthaginians, without their leader, asked for a ceasefire, they gave it to them.

So the history closes the Spring of 247 BCE

Note: It would be more fun (IMO) if the time traveling/physics bending & impossibilities occuring... weren't used, Thank you!

~Jirisys (of Greece!)

Possible what this story made by forum members