an EB story

[Zradha Pahlavan]

Until, thanks to the help of his little brother, a green centipede, and a drunk Persian, the EB script was accidentally turned off, and he found himself in the magical world of vanilla Rome Total War where prehistoric giant elephants, purple horsemen, ogres, and ninjas made their homes.

[satalexton]

Fantasy it may be, Alexandros intends to rejoin his crusade against Roma; he petitions the EB team for a way back, and they bade him to follow the yellow brick road.

[Zradha Pahlavan]

On his way he met Ptolemais and Seleucus, who were always squabbling. They both saw him, and they both told him to stay away from India. "What's an India?", thought Alexandros, as he continued...

[Arthur, king of the Britons]

Later he came across a machine with an big red button on it. Next the button a note said: Activate EB script, and Alexandros pressed the trigger and was thus returned to the somewhat logical world of EB.

[Titus Marcellus Scato]

Continuing his journeys, Alexandros met a strange Scythian barbarian, who offered him a beautiful blonde bride, who apparently didn't speak much Greek apart from 'yes' and 'more' so Alexandros wouldn't be bothered by her nagging. "Sure," said Alexandros, "...I could really do with a good woman to keep me company." The Scythian told him to return to the same spot in a month, where his bride would be waiting, but asked for 100 mnai to pay for the wedding and expenses. Alexandros readily agreed, and paid up. "See you here next month!" said the Scythian. "Hmm," thought Alexandros, "that was a bit steep for a wedding, this had better be good!"

[plutoboyz]

The next month, Alexandros go to the same place as promised. Alexandros didn't realize the Scythian actually a bounty hunter who looking for him in exchange for 3 mnai. the trap was successfull. Alexandros found himself being surrounded by 1.000.000.000.000.000.000.000 Duna Asya. The greedy Scythian then order his horde to kill Alexandros while he go inside his tent with Alexandros supposed-to-be-his Bride.

[satalexton]

on the LAST moment, in the BRINK of time, Alexandros decided that he actually liked men instead. Thus he unwittingly spared himself from a grueling fate....

[Zradha Pahlavan]

Damn, just a second too late...

(REWRITE)
Alexandros then purchased some goats from the Scythians for 5 mnai apiece. One of the goats had a wonderfully soft wool, and that goat became Alexandros' personal favorite. Everyday he fed it special mustard brought in by caravans from the Orient.

[plutoboyz]

Alexandros the unlucky... the Special Mustard was really special. it contain Anthrax! it kill the goat and even infecting Alexandros and all living creature around him.

[A Nerd]

Apon consuming a 'magical elixir' that fell off a wagon approaching a nearby market within his city of birth, he was cured and teleported to a peet bog, where a god-like offereing offered his a rusty and misshapen blade to futhur his persuits of a divine and glorious quest...

[plutoboyz]

Alexandros stare the blade, and think "There is no reason to keep this ugly blade". He throw it and it fall on a someone's head. Alexandros then steal a horse then go to far east. when he met some wise guy in red. He then decide to blend with local and change his name to Gyalpo Dagpo Gampo

[Duguntz]

building his lost empire, he decided to raid rebels villages surrounding Sparta... only to be amazed that the more villages he captured, the more incomes the rebel Kings seemed to receive... remembering his past adventures, he wondered if this strange paradox wouldn't have something in common with the ''Great Red Button'' activation...

[Hannibal Khan the Great]

Turns out the reason the AI was making more money was that they were capturing many cities thanks to Argyraspidai spam, and that Alexandros was in fact only raiding the "villages" made by Meth's reskin of watchtowers....

[Arthur, king of the Britons]

So Alexandros used his epic modding skillz to stop the script from giving money to the AI..

[plutoboyz]

...that annoys him every turn with their pezhetairoi spam. then Alexandros with his new horse named 'Notepad' sweep through a city called 'Data' looks for an artifact named 'Script'. at last he found the artifact but its guarded by dozen soldier named antivirus. Alexandros sneak behind the guard and... Crack! he accidentally stepped on dried tree's branch. Antivirus spot him and immediately the antivirus drag his weapon named 'scan'. he use it to Alexandros but it has no effect.
the Antivirus captain shout, "You must be new variant of Trojan! squad, capture and put him in the quarantine!"
"Yes, sir!", the squad replies.

Alexandros run but he can't escape. The antivirus put him inside quarantine room to analyze him.

[Arthur, king of the Britons]

Antivirus Captain Norton said "Who are you working for and what do they plan? Tell me or I will have to make use of my most dreaded weapon, System Restore.

[plutoboyz]

"I work for myself and I plan to stop AI financial aid!", Alexadros reply.
"Hmm... are you Trojan?", ask the AV Captain.
"No, I'm Hellenes. Trojan already dead. We kill them by our special weapon.", Alexandros reply.
"Then you must be more dangerous than Trojan! Hmm... we need new weapon. Squad, go to homepage and find an update!" Said The AV captain.
"What!? Update!? wait, nooooooooo............!"...

[Arthur, king of the Britons]

"I work for myself and I plan to stop AI financial aid!", Alexadros reply.
"Hmm... are you Trojan?", ask the AV Captain.
"No, I'm Hellenes. Trojan already dead. We kill them by our special weapon.", Alexandros reply.
"Then you must be more dangerous than Trojan! Hmm... we need new weapon. Squad, go to homepage and find an update!" Said The AV captain.
"What!? Update!? wait, nooooooooo............!"...

Apparantly the update contained anti Norton substances which caused the Antivirus to die, and..

[plutoboyz]

Alexandros continue his journey. he found the money script but accidentally delete it. now everyone don't have money. Alexandros ride back to RTW. but he decided to visit vanilla RTW: BI first.

[Arthur, king of the Britons]

When he arrived in BI he noticed some strange things, people had learned how to swim, horde and forming shieldwall..

[plutoboyz]

he also met some strange people like Huns, Goth, Vandal, Sassanid etc... after that he move to Alexander vanilla. but his presence cause CTD because...

[Arthur, king of the Britons]

Two great persons with the name Alexandros can not be in the same game.

[plutoboyz]

so Alexandros challenge Alexander to fight in...

[Smelly Jelly]

a tub filled with molten lava...

[Arthur, king of the Britons]

Which is located in Stockholm, the glorious capital of The Socialist Republic of Sweden.

[plutoboyz]

but the lava frozen. due to Stockholm climate. so its human's skin-friendly.

[Duguntz]

Unfortunatly, Alexandros didn't listened his mom when he was a kid, and, not having a jacket with him, was freezing to the bone, obvously, he couldn't fight a duel in that condition...

[plutoboyz]

Alexandros then freeze. frozen inside an iceberg. until some Inuit found him and ...

[Duguntz]

and Alexandros told to himself... ''hmmm, sweden is even colder than before...''

[plutoboyz]

Alexandros feel weird when he see iron bird flying above him. then he ask one of the Inuit, "What time is it?"