an EB story

[Zradha Pahlavan]

The Romaiktonoi eagerly awaited the release of their super weapon, EB2. Once it was ready, they could install it on their mightiest star ships and destroy the barbarians.

[Cute Wolf]

Out of boredroom, caused by some Inter Romaioktonoi wars, Cute Wolf escaped the Duguntz, Jebivjetar, Hun General, and Arthur's wrath (because he genetically enginereed the Wargozez, Dorkim Khdoshim, Aeldry Aezamblade, and Kluddargos , so they have cute purple wolf fur and head), and Plutoboyz seem to not helping him either. So Cute Wolf go to his secret base, prepare his purple wolf alien squadron, riding flying saucers, and go to the Roman colony, where he search for one certain philoromaioi, Sonic... to extract half the data of their genetic mutator weapon.

[gamegeek2]

From out of the desert comes gamegeek2, at the forefront of a host of nomads - desert and steppe alike - banded together under the common banner of glory and plunder. He marches up to Satalexton and proclaims:

YALLA! MY SULTAN WISHES YOU DEAD!!!

[Hannibal Khan the Great]

And at once, my dreaded Turkish alter ego comes up and says: "Infidels to kill, Sultan?" Apparently Sata is a basileus in all non-roman cultures.

[gamegeek2]

Sultan gamegeek2 of the Joint Nomad Tribes wishes the fall of the Arche Makedonia! With no Romans to plunder, we seek a new source of riches - and none would be more appropriate than the great kingdom of Makedonia.

Assemble the horsemen. We march at dawn. Basileus Satalexton will be trampled beneath the hooves of a million of the fiercest warriors, from the lowest horse archer to a collection of the finest nomadic horsemen from all over the world - men the Hetairoi have no chance against.

We seek no conflict with Qart-Hadasht, Sofet Jebvijetar.

[satalexton]

a Romaioktonoi civil war?
(Gamegeek is listed as "Hetairos" on my list)

[Hannibal Khan the Great]

The North and South Germanikoi, led by me and Duguntz respectively, ally and prepare their troops to attack whichever side begins to get an advantage....

[Cute Wolf]

And due to their previous persecution because of the "Justice to the Badass war", Cute Wolf accept the alliance offer with Sonic, produce their genetically engineered Horse Archers supported by Half-Hoplite-Half-Legionaries army (wearing thracian helmets, carrying several pilum, and fought with overhead gladius-headed spears), and levy a tons of South East Asian feudal Swordsmen. And their army comes to the border of Arche Makedonia, seeing that Gamegeek's army rampaging and exterminating the Makedonian army. Taking the great advantage, Cute Wolf order his men to exterminate Gamegeek's army and stole all the loot.

[satalexton]

Then suddenly, the royal tombs exploded. Emerging from the smoke and rubble, are taxis after taxis of phalangitai and ile after ile of cavalry. Unlike any other, these men (and horses) are all wearing powered-armour made of mithril, armed to the teeth with plasma sarrisae, force-field generating shields, anti-gravity homing javelins and each bearing an energy-bladed kopis for a side arm.

The standard bearer, bearing a holographic image of God-King Maion, marched forward. Face projected a hundred times the normal size, the god king of kings called for an end to the fighting. Sonic refused on the grounds that he is a philromaios, and he and his army were quickly reduced to red mist from a single javelin launched from amongst the cavalry. The fighting promptly ended.

Reunited, and Lykos having to wash the army's dishes for a week as a punishment for allying with Sonic, the unstoppable army marched towards Barbaropolis once again...

[Hannibal Khan the Great]

And so it turns out the Germanic Romaioktonoi were actually very smart to stay neutral due to the fact that they were going ahead in time to collaborate with their Varangian brothers in forcing "Basileia ton Romaion" to change its name to "Basileia ton Hellas kai Asia Mikra".....

[Cute Wolf]

Reunited, and Lykos having to wash the army's dishes for a week as a punishment for allying with Sonic, the unstoppable army marched towards Barbaropolis once again...

And while washing dishes, Lykos said... "Hey, did you remember that Barbaropolis on earth are allready razed to the grond and made into ruins ful of manure? Those Romaioi Barbaroi are actually in space now, fighting space Celtics and Germans..."

[satalexton]

"Nay," says Maion. "The One True Barbaroi Stays."
"Hidden beneath the sewers, they hide."

[Cute Wolf]

"I swear I've meet with them in space..." Lykos Replied.
"Sonic comes from up there, you can use my squadron of flying saucers if you want....."

[plutoboyz]

"no, no Romaioi in space. I've clean the space. and none of you help me.
ah... I see you guys are fighting each other. I better back to Pakuan to assemble my own army. just in case one of you attack me"

[satalexton]

they are in space, but their females and 'lings are hiding in the sewers...if they aren't purged, barbaropolis will regrow within a year.

[Cute Wolf]

So the Romaioi hive queen is still hidden in Barbaropolis? Equip the men with heavy anti infestation suit then... so they wouldn't be infested hellenes turned against us.

[Fluvius Camillus]

Annoyed by the squabbling of the Romaioktonoi, he could no longer work on his project, and continued to do interesting stuff again. He went to th east, away from the wars and Roman vs Others squabbling. He stole a ship and sailed away. His ship sank, but helped by Sab'yns he was escorted to the Indus. Where he started a cheese shop.

(I went back some pages to find where we lost Alexandros)

~Fluvius

[Finn MacCumhail]

Last time we saw Alexandros as an old man, growing his grandson and himself in one person. Yep, he is Grandfather to himself.

When Alexandros the yang visited his Grandfather on his summer holidays, he went to the Holy River Gang, and was eaten by the Holy Crocodile. So he never visited the future, never come back and he didn't gave birth to his father Philliphos, and unborn Philippos couldn't give a birth to him. Errr... CTD?

[satalexton]

and so we reload back to the begining of the Gaza Campaign.....this time teh EBII team promising some patches.....

[Zradha Pahlavan]

But it turns out that an error resulted in a reload to a Giza campaign rather than a Gaza campaign. There wasn't much to do there, so Alexandros built a sled and climbed up the Great Pyramid and slid back down it. He did this again and again for several hours until...

[Cute Wolf]

A stone falls under his foot, and reveal that hidden beneath the pyramid, there was a lot of dormant mummy axemen army, supported by some bald slingers, and had vanguards of silly two handed spearmen wearing scale gown.

[plutoboyz]

darn late!

EDIT; and the worst thing, Alexandros accidentally enter a portal to vanilla world.

[gamegeek2]

The Sultan, having received news that the Romaioi live, ceases hostilities against his fellow Romaioktonoi until such matters are resolved.

But one must be warned - us nomads got shafted in the partition of the Roman lands. We wish for a better lifestyle than our poor life on the steppe and desert, subsisting off mere sheep and cattle.

[satalexton]

and a fine partition they shall recieve: The senate halls of Barbaropolis for them to serve as stables!

[gamegeek2]

we'd prefer something a bit closer to home - or actual lands to live in.

In the meantime, we will begin using plundered riches to fund terraforming efforts - to make more arable land.

[Duguntz]

Satalexton, this is an OFFENSE, almost unforgivable... Have you no respect for those poor horses? Ha... they're not ours...

[satalexton]

Sorry, my bad....

As a token of apology, would you accept the whole of Former-Latin lands, minus Barbaropolis, as your kleros?

[gamegeek2]

Actually, my plan was to seize the Hungarian plain (full of Illyrioi, do you mind?) - Also, the Po river valley and Venetia. That will suffice as lands for us steppe-folk. Of course, those who stubbornly wish to cling to the old ways can stay the same forever. Can't blame the Siracae too much, they've actually got something going in their lands, but the others...

Gamegeek2, Hetairos Romaioktonon kai Basileus Skython, thanks the Basileus Romaioktonon for his generosity.

The Arabians, of course, have found their own method of gaining wealth. Sure, it involves unfair monopolization, but you can deal with that yourselves. You'll have to deal with Moros, who has many shabs under his thumb, and can deploy great armies of well-equipped warriors. Only the Nabatu remain out of his Arabian domain, for now.

[lionhard]

The seleucids had been keeping a close watch on this unfair monopolization and have realised that this so called moros has become a great pain, expecially in the east, What better time for the great Lion emperor to prove his skills in combat against these vast armies of moros! The lion emperor assembled a huge army of elite phalanaxes, Heavy spearmen the best archers from the east and most importantly the most fearosome elephants the lands could offer. To war my seleucids!! time to slay those dirty arabs!

[plutoboyz]

"ah... another clumsy phalanx. Kasatrya, don't let our Austronesian brother fallen! we must fight! To arm!" Lionhard, prepare to face countless Balamati and Puragabaya on the field.