Yes, selecting "melee" (crossed swords icon) for the unit before ordering them to attack will do it. They will just stand and return fire, depending on what unit, if you don't. Also, as you hover your cursor over the house, it should highlight the enemy troops inside (shows a ghost of their ground marker)....once you have this you can attack ok.

Try to attack with a 2:1 ratio in favour to ensure you come out best as well.

(Disclaimer - these are single player tactics I use, should be ok for muliplayer also)