What to do with an old friend

**KukriKhan** · 04-24-2010, 14:08

I admire your devotion to the concept of friendship. Too bad your friend doesn't (or cannot, due to drug-induced brain damage) share your devotion. Now that you're committed (and have pretty much "lost" your boat) you are stuck, so you have to see it through. Therefore: this is a test of your devotion to the concept. How much of your stuff and your time will you give up for your friend in need? Answer: half, but no more.

Until you're married, that is. Then "she who must be obeyed" will decide such things for you.

Think of it as an investment; some day your buddy will be "up" and you'll be "down", and he'll help you. Maybe when you're old and really need it.

**Husar** · 04-24-2010, 14:36

Well, if he keeps taking so many drugs then it seems likely by the time Fragony will be old that dude will be long dead.

There is the option of going to him and telling him the truth, you can tell it in a manner that will not outright insult him, tell him you still like him but you think what he is doing with his life is just wrong and that you do not wish to support his lifestyle for long, that you will give him shelter for some time but he should try to sort out his life and find his own place to live.

That way you don't throw him out, you don't insult him, you just tell him the truth, if he does not understand or gets enraged, well, then maybe throw him out after telling him that he is the one living on your boat.

**Banquo's Ghost** · 04-24-2010, 15:16

Friendship is most certainly about being there when times are hard, and I think you've done a very kind thing, Fragony.

However, a good friend is also one who will be honest and straight. I think you owe it to this chap to tell him of your disappointment in his behaviour, and that your kindness must perforce have its limits. Give him a clear deadline to get himself sorted out and stick to it. As someone else has said, friendship is a two way street, and he should make efforts to repay your kindness by taking control of his own life.

Your biggest problem (to which you allude) is that drug addicts can be very manipulative and devious - especially in exploiting those who care, sadly. Make sure this doesn't happen to you by being firm.

**Fragony** · 04-24-2010, 18:27

Boat isn't the problem it's more of a floating heart-seizure then a boat, but perfectly livable as long as it doesn't have to go anywhere. Anyways he can stay just needed to rant.

**Csargo** · 04-25-2010, 06:03

Originally Posted by Husar

Well, if he keeps taking so many drugs then it seems likely by the time Fragony will be old that dude will be long dead.

There is the option of going to him and telling him the truth, you can tell it in a manner that will not outright insult him, tell him you still like him but you think what he is doing with his life is just wrong and that you do not wish to support his lifestyle for long, that you will give him shelter for some time but he should try to sort out his life and find his own place to live.

That way you don't throw him out, you don't insult him, you just tell him the truth, if he does not understand or gets enraged, well, then maybe throw him out after telling him that he is the one living on your boat.

Husar I need a place to live and a plane ticket to Germany. Can you hook me up?

**Husar** · 04-25-2010, 12:39

Originally Posted by Csargo

Husar I need a place to live and a plane ticket to Germany. Can you hook me up?

No way, go away you smelly backwater hillbilly!

I mean I'm not Fragony, I don't have an old, rusty boat I could let you live on.

And I can't even afford a plane ticket myself, really, it's me who needs your help!

**Fragony** · 04-25-2010, 13:06

What did you just say about my boat? It is my exclive right to bash it. Yes it's old and rusty and barely floating but that's fun

**Peasant Phill** · 04-25-2010, 13:37

I assume he wants a place to stay until he 'finds a place of his own' or until he 'gets the cash to rent something himself' or 'until he gets back on his feet'. Maybe helping him finding a place/a job/... may get him out of your hair AND you'll have been a good friend.