Day 12 - Conclusion



Methos had often contemplated what happens after death, especially since so many fell by his own hand. He used to fear it, or more accurately, he feared the unknown of death, but not any more. Since coming here he’d learned that death meant nothing, as the souls of that individual still existed and were able to communicate their foolishness just as they did in life. For that he reasoned that what did it matter anymore, so with that, he calmly stepped forward and handed his silver dagger to his Naib.

“I vote myself”.

Diana nodded and snapped her fingers. The remaining daggers put Methos in chains and led him to a special execution platform. But all there was on top of the wooden platform was a big comfy chair. Looking confused, Methos sat down in the comfy chair and allowed himself to be strapped in.

Diana stood on the platform with Methos, and addressed him, while the other daggers watched.

Diana began:

"You are accused of blasphemy, heresy, consorting with vampires, impersonating a swiss maid, high treason, crude and boorish behavior, grand larceny, grand theft auto, low treason, impersonating a taiwanese daredevil, first degree murder, improper disposal of a corpse, improper relations with a corpse, drinking Heineken and liking it, using your cellphone in a restaurant, medium treason, littering, witchcraft, improper reanimation of a corpse, impersonating a pirate, gratuitous depictions of nudity in a moving picture, not worshipping Andres last Friday, grievously improper use of a plunger, ties to an international communist conspiracy, unpaid parking tickets, and general scumminess. How do you plead?"

Methos proudly lifted up his chin, and with a gleam of sadness in his eye, he gave the people what they wanted...

"I plead guilty. No one else could have done these heinous crimes. I accept my sentence."

Methos knew he was innocent, but nothing was going to change the minds of this mob of people bent on violent murder. He was once one of them... so he knew he was no better. He felt the only thing to do was to give them some small bit of hope and a feeling of accomplishment. It was his final gift to a doomed group of well-meaning vigilantes.

Diana nodded. "Okay. BACK UP THE TRUCK!!!"

A large red truck emerged and began backing up towards the execution platform. Methos tried to crane his head around to see what was in store for him, but he couldn't see. All he could hear was the roar of the engine and the noise that a truck makes when backing up.

A pair of daggers ran to the truck and began unraveling a long hose. They brought it quickly up the steps of the wooden platform, and handed the hose to the Naib, kissed her shiny black boots, and then backed away with their heads lowered in respect. "Kill me next, honored Naib!" they pleaded, for it was indeed an honor to be slain by a woman so glorious as Diana Abnoba.

Diana ordered Methos to open his mouth, and when he did, she began stuffing the hose down his throat, causing him to gag uncontrollably. Tears welled up in his eyes as he felt the cold black hose being fed all the way down to his stomach.

"Begin!" bellowed the Naib.

A dagger pulled the lever on the truck, and the thick brown fluid began pumping through the black hose, all the way up the steps of the execution platform, and down into Methos' stomach. He had no idea what was being pumped down his gullet.... was it drugs? deadly poisons? toxic waste? raw sewage? His brain fired rapidly, and he began to panic. He started moaning for the terrible torture to stop, but his words were unintelligible. He felt his stomach begin to expand uncomfortably, and he started choking as the fluid began seeping back up.... and then he tasted the foul liquid he was being slain with.

It was sweet.... very sweet. It made his mouth tingle. It tasted so familiar, what could it be?

"That's enough!" shouted the Naib.

The dagger reversed the lever, and the pumping stopped. Diana took her sword and cut the hose off, mere inches from Methos' face. What now?

The Naib took out a roll of familiar-looking candy, tore it open slightly, and slid the entire roll into the hose. She forced Methos' head back and allowed the roll of candy to slide down the hose and into his stomach. Then she withdrew the hose, and covered Methos' mouth with duct tape. Methos was still as puzzled as he was before, until he saw the truck drive off.

"Oh my God...." thought Methos.

The Naib turned quickly and ran from the platform, and the crowd began to back up, and cover themselves with a plastic sheet.

Within a few seconds, it began. The dark brown fluid in Methos' stomach reacted with the mint-flavored candy, and the pressure began to build. Methos' eyes bugged out as Diet Coke shot fifty feet out from his nose. The Diet Coke exploded from his mouth, and a geyser of cola sprayed all over the enthusiastic crowd. But the pressure continued to build, until finally....

KABOOOM!!!!

Methos' head exploded, and a giant fountain of Diet coke erupted from his neck hole. A representative from the Guiness Book of World Records was there, and was able to verify that it was the single largest Mentos and Diet Coke explosion ever.

Everyone in the crowd began to applaud enthusiastically. They had done it! They were in the book of world records! Diana herself was very pleased, and bowed before the crowd. A voice in the clouds grumbled: "That'll teach him! Drinking Heineken and liking it!" Everyone, even the Gods, cheered for their Naib, the greatest Naib that ever lived! Hoooray!!!

Forgotten in all of the celebration was all the worry and fear about the Ancient One or the threat he posed. And soon, night would fall...

***

Tally:

Methos: 4 (Double A, Diamondeye, splitpersonality, Methos)

Not voting: 2 (Diana Abnoba (Naib), Kagemusha)

***

Alive (5)

1. Diana Abnoba
2. Double A
3. spL1tp3r50naL1ty
4. Kagemusha
5. DiamondEye

Killed (23)

autolycus
Yaropolk
Chaotix
Centurion1
Ibn-Khaldun
Psychonaut
Sasaki Kojiro
Yaseikhaan
Peasant Phill
Death is yonder
YLC
Secura
Captain Blackadder
GreyBlades
Niklas
TinCow
Kukrikhan
Renata
Choxorn
Jolt
TheFlax
Beefy187
pevergreen

Lynched (11)

Csargo
Askthepizzaguy
Seon
GeneralHankerchief
White_Eyes:D
Romanic
atheotes
Beskar
The Stranger
Scienter
Methos

WoG (1)
AVSM

***

It's now night. PM's please. Night will last for +/- 23 hours.