Increasing morale does quite a lot to make combats last longer.
Or creating a trigger that gives all generals a trait that increases morale of all units by quite a large margin - and this one works, or at least the penalties work, as i have learned a very painful lesson in BI trying to use Gratianus the lily-livered with his archer bodyguard, as a commander.
But since you want to achieve another thing....i do not think decreasing lethality would not be a good idea. Better stick with decreasing attack and defense. If you edit lethality, you will find archers not even taking casualties from cavalry charges.
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