Are you a real man?

[Reverend Joe]

Facial hair is the work of the devil.


Me, I even groom my eyebrows, to maintain my suave looks.

Facial hair is for savages. Civilized men prefer to groom themselves, plus the majority of women prefer cleanshaven men

I see we have some jealous hairless youths among us.

Me, not only do i have a beard, but I am capable of growing the most intimidating beard of anyone I know. Of course, I usually keep it fairly close-cropped and neat, but it still cows other men with its presence and hypnotized ladies with the might of its sexual vibrations.

[Gregoshi]

I've had my beard for just about 30 years now. Mrs. Gregoshi likes it and so do I.