Difference between cosensual sex and rape... in the eyes of too conservative law

[Rahwana]

ok, let me clarify the situations of our friend now (all of us, including CW and me are university mate)

Last wednesday, or even before, our friend go to that girl's room and get some sex, but apparently, he forot to throw the condom outside the house, and that was slipped under her bed (well, that was used condom filled with sperm - CW apparently didn't know about that, if that condom was only bought out of couriousity, from where the sperm are?), some time afterwards, after our friend leaving that girl's house, her parents suddenly come and enter her room too suddenly (as most parents do here, they have duplicate keys of their children's house), and of course, they found her sleep naked in the bed, and found that used condom under her bed.

Well, if you found your daughter laying naked in bed, and there was a used condom nearby, what will you do, especially if you are muslim and lived in highly conservative (even if only outward) community, that condemns extra marital sex as griveous sin and extreme taboo. Her partents then drag her to the local clerics, and forced her to confess about what just happened... of course, if she confess that she did that because that was her "rights", her family will get total dishonour and could be shunned in her home city (a highly religious city), so she said that my friend and her did have several sex allready, but he forced her to "serve" him, or she will be physically abused (or killed, I don't remember in detail).

And as you may predict, the case was reported into Police authorithy, and they took our friend soon afterwards, they did provide lawyer, but actually, that lawyer was one who want to heard about the "true story" first (CW maybe calls her annoying old women when he wrote this thread, but for now, the lawyer's image allready better for us, I'll explain about that later), and she keep accusing my friend of extorting her for sexual gratification until Sunday (without our knowledge of course), but he always refused to confess (that was really cosensual afterall). And if CW said about our friend's parents... well, his parents did hate him because our friend (as well as most of students here) was actually de facto atheists (well our society is assumed to be religious one, but actually almost equally divided among religious fanatics and complete atheists, and those fanatics hate the atheists very much), so calling them for help or even consideration could lead them to said "well he will be better introspect himself in jail!" rather than actually helped him.

The lawyer was actually a good one, sunday morning, she explains to us, why she act as if she was symphatetic with that girl's cause, that was to made her sure that this case are not real sexual extortion case, and she also explained that a third of reported rape case here, was actually outraged parents report the sexual partner of their adult (but unmarried) daughter as a rape. She then explains that we must stop playing silly (such as constantly arguing with the police, or try to collect money to pay the temporaty bail), and let the law prove itself in the process. She asked us, if there was another man who also had sleep with her (and one of them was me), and she asked if we can gave some witness that we're doing that regularly and that was cosensual because we were adults, if some men said that, the judge will consider that case was just some kind of parental anger, and that case will be solved in the wyes of the law, of course, those men's name in religious society will be stained forever and that girl's live will also doomed, but the lawyer then explains that was one of the consequence of doing extra marital sex in a society that was still highly conservative. Well, I and one of my friend will took position as witness and try to talk everything about it, so our friend could be relased without any guilt, but then, for I myself, I don't mind to be seen as "sinners" because I allready lived completely alone on myself, and believe that individual liberty is more worth than what so called "morale", because morale is a relative one.

Well, maybe Cute Wolf is still sleeping because he was the one who drove the car all two days long... (too bad, he was not yet an adult )

[aimlesswanderer]

Good news, and I hope that things do work themselves out. Am I ever glad I live here where religion is much less of a concern.

[Brenus]

I am glad to live a life where religion has no place at all.

[Rahwana]

yeah, yesterday moring, the trial was for hearing the witness, and thankfully, that was closed one and only 4 of us attend that, after we decide that CW and 1 other friend that was not an adult yet (well, in sense of sexual experience), shouldn't mixed up with us there (another one act as the car driver now), because this trial will definitely discredit everyone who attend them as witness (as most fanatics will presumed that you are immoral brats, so let's the real immorals took the consequences, afterall that was just a temporary stigma, especially for males like us and we're doing that for a friend ). The result are actually mixed, the trial was delayed until next week, but the judge seems to be fine with what we said, and there is no objection occured in the defense given...

[Idaho]

The real problem here seems to be the taboo against young people having safe pre-marital sex. Get rid of that, and you won't have a problem.

[rory_20_uk]

Idaho, whilst I completely agree with you that the outdated, archaic, frankly nonsensical collection of customs and practices we for some reason respectfully call "religion" is in this case, as in oh so many the root cause it ain't going to shift any time soon.

[aimlesswanderer]

This is what happens when modernity runs headlong into centuries old societal values.

Maybe when your kids are at uni things will be very different, given the fast rate of change.

[Skullheadhq]

Oh, for a moment I thought CW was mentioning you, Sonic.
If my friend was accused of rape I would deny all allegations and constantly, constantly ask for the proof that he actually raped her, like bruises of some sort, without evidence he won't be convicted for anything.
You should also keep an eye on the girl, maybe she (or her parents) will inflict injuries upon her, and when that happens and they use that as 'proof', it's game over. You should also seriously try to find the others she slept with, that way the joke about 'our sweet little, pious girl who would never have premarital sex' would be over and your buddies' story will sound much more realistic than hers'. If you know her email, try to fill in the security question with some social engeneering and look for clues of sexual partners, that's where I would start.
You should maybe even ask her friends to testify, or just call them to the stand. They should probably know if she had previous sexual partners. Hope this helps!

[Cute Wolf]

and the statistics then lied with calling Indonesia "the biggest muslim country", actually there is more atheists than muslims

not really true, despite that, where is another country with more than 70 million muslims? yeah, all we know that it was common knowledge that muslim percentage here are marked up, but they still the largest one in the world, unless India had more muslims or every arab nations populations got doubled suddenly.

Oh, for a moment I thought CW was mentioning you, Sonic.
If my friend was accused of rape I would deny all allegations and constantly, constantly ask for the proof that he actually raped her, like bruises of some sort, without evidence he won't be convicted for anything.
You should also keep an eye on the girl, maybe she (or her parents) will inflict injuries upon her, and when that happens and they use that as 'proof', it's game over. You should also seriously try to find the others she slept with, that way the joke about 'our sweet little, pious girl who would never have premarital sex' would be over and your buddies' story will sound much more realistic than hers'. If you know her email, try to fill in the security question with some social engeneering and look for clues of sexual partners, that's where I would start.
You should maybe even ask her friends to testify, or just call them to the stand. They should probably know if she had previous sexual partners. Hope this helps!

well yeah, that case is allready gone into straight conclusion now, our friend will be sooner or later declared innocent , but the trial is delayed again to hear the objection of the "victim", because the prosecutor allready demand our friend to be freed and declared innocent...

gosh, I start to pity that girl, she was utterly completely doomed....
BTW, Sonic also had past affairs with her... and she was now a launghingstock between most of us, everyone who had slept with her made a long commentary about her... But at last, that wasn't her fault at all, that was her parent's fault... yeah, but it was now backfire on them... dammit, those over-zealous religious parents...